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#658029 04/01/00 06:35 PM
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<BR> I let her do what she wants, when she wants. I let her hang out with her friends.<BR>I always wake up with our son at night. <BR>I clean a little everyday and almost always do the laundry. I watch our son while she goes out with her friends. I fix dinner almost everynight. I tell her I love her all the time. I kiss her everytime I leave or she leaves. <BR> I am messy sometimes but I usually pick up after myself. I sometimes spend too much time at the gym or working on the car. Sometimes I'm too tired for sex and I just want to sleep. I have a hard time showing emotion but I really try. Am I really that bad?

#658030 04/01/00 09:14 PM
Joined: Dec 1998
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SAG,<P>It sounds like you're meeting a lot of what marriage and a child are about.<P>Is your wife very young? I ask because although I enjoy a nite out with friends and some drinks, the bar thing got old as I got old.<P>Since you're here I guess you're not waiting around for her to grow up? What have you done to let her know she's about to be divorced? <P>Your story please?

#658031 04/01/00 09:44 PM
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In Shock,<BR>Thank you for replying. Yes, my wife is young. We married when she was 18 and I was 19. She'll be 21 this summer. The whole story is on Sheba's topic asking everyone to tell their tale. After writing it I start to wonder if maybe I am that bad. Thank you.

#658032 04/01/00 11:03 PM
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No, you're not that Bad SAG.<P>I did read your story. Are you here because you are divorcing her?<P>You're both bringing/brought infidelity into the marriage. That's nasty stuff, often unforgivable, divorce causing stuff. <P>Right now you kind of take care of her like a parent would? <P>I support the MB principles of Harley and I can't think of a better more rational way to start a marriage. It doesn't sound like your W is in an affair. She's just continued the college life without any consideration for a H and a child.<P>You can read all about the Plans and more at this site. If you haven't, do your next duty and be informed. Then plan your next "move".<P>Or, am I reading this wrong and you're divorcing her?<P>

#658033 04/01/00 11:15 PM
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InShock,<BR>Thanks again. I am not divorcing her, she is divorcing me. I came home a couple of weeks ago after being in the field for 65 days and she told me she didn't want to be with me anymore. Go figure!

#658034 04/01/00 11:22 PM
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GI,<P>Man, I hope you read this. I did exactly what you have done. Dinner, laundry, giving her freedom. Don't question those things. This is her thing, I guess you just have to let her work them out. If you change you, you'll suffer. Don't.<P>Eric32 <P>

#658035 04/01/00 11:46 PM
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Eric 32,<BR>Thanks for replying but its hard not to blame myself. It is good to know that someone has been there, I'll try to use your advice.

#658036 04/02/00 10:42 AM
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Sag,<P>Wow! I wish my h would have done all that for me. I don't think you are doing anything wrong. It sounds like your wife is just young and doesn't realize what she has [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>My H never considered all the things you have. I went to college full-time and took care of the kids and everything else. He would come home and go to bed and not help with ANYTHING including the kids! Most of the time I got 3 hours of sleep a night and he never felt guilty. Just complained that I never wanted sex. Hmmmm...I wonder why???<P>Anyway, other than both of your mistakes with the affairs, you are doing the right thing. Good Luck and hang in there.<P>Tulip<BR>

#658037 04/04/00 07:41 PM
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Where do I get a husband like SAG and Eric>?? I did all the same stuff you guys did and then some. And you know what, I am in the same boat as you two.<P>Is it possible to treat someone too good? Is it possible you were too much a giver and not enough of a taker. Who knows. All I know is I tried my hardest and it wasn't good enough.<P>I blamed myself in the beginning. Know this, it is within the BETRAYER not you . It is something wrong with them. They're the ones who walked away from a wonderful thing.<P>We all deserve better. I know I can never give that much again in my next relationship.<P>Oh and the age thing, SAG, I was same age when I had kids. A lot of this is her age. I was mature, like you, but HE was not. When he turned 21, we split for a year. We eventually made our way back. 6 years later, I am here again and done for good.<P>I believe that just because we are 18, doesn't make us ready to live like adults necessarily. Some people can't do it.<P>Good luck. Don't blame yourself, and know there are a LOT of us ladies out here, that would love to have a guy like you. (or eric)<BR>LOL<P>Be strong. Be positive. You'll get through this. I suspect you've been through worse. Dana<BR>


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