Pantha..<P>Sorry for this short message, but I will write to you later tonight! My email address is eagc8@aol.com.<P>Please write to me and I will write back..<P>Bryan<BR><P>------------------<BR>BJK

Hey Mike!<BR><P>------------------<BR>BJK

Thank You All!

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND EVERYONE!

PositiveBryon & Hopeful in Texas, and others who checked out the web based singles sites...
(It's been a very long time since I last was on this site)
I agree with what you had posted back in August, and have come to some realizations..
I had a "membership" on Country Singles Online, which is a really good site compared to all the others out there. I have maintained 2 friendships, one for a year now, even going to Texas to visit, and the other almost a year. Both of them have been perfect gentlemen. Neither, though, live close enough for us to go out to dinner or a movie. After a while of emailing others, I noticed that usually they 1) were wanting to interview me for role of "wife" :0 2)had some pretty high ideas of themselves to the point of submitting older pictures of themselves [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] 3) were in that first state of wanting a relationship that would fill that void, etc.
My ex married his girlfriend a month ago. They had been together for 2 years. Our divorce was final (on my BIRTHDAY, no less!) in July of 2000. It had been an ugly divorce process of over a year and a half. I have not been in a relationship..heck, I haven't been truly asked out yet! I have a lot of friends, both women and men tell me that I shouldn't have any problems finding someone, that I'm very attractive, etc., but I haven't been in the right conditions to even meet eligle men. I moved to a new town last winter, worked in a medical office where 80% of the patients were elderly [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] not exactly the place to meet others like me. I changed my career path, and am now going to a university full time and working there as well...Now, 80% are 18 to 22!! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]
When I have my weekends alone, or the ex tries to somehow make me feel like "look at what I gave up (like calling 2 days before the wedding to tell me how much this is a big deal, and "special occassion"), I remember how nice it is to be able to do what I want, watch what I want, go where I want, talk to whomever, for however long I want, than to be "alone" in a marriage. I would rather be alone, than to be lonely in a marriage. But, I'm not just staying home, either, because I know that the only way I'm going to meet that someone, whether to just be dinner companions, or soul mate, is to be proactive. In the meantime, I enjoying learning, meeting new people, ect.
I've been alone, now, 1 1/2 years and when I look back, know that I was very vulnerable, and that dating at that time, even up till this time last year, would have only delayed all the healing that I've gone through. I agree with not dating someone who is in the beginning stages of the divorce process. There are too many emotional factors. A book called "Growing through Divorce" suggests that it is better to date or get involved with someone that is at least at the same stage in the process as you. I have to agree, based on my limited experience.
Let us know, though, when you find something that has proven to be successful!!
Kristine

I am not yet divorced, but I am worrying about this subject. Mostly because ten months after my stbx moved us to a new, very small, family-oriented town, he said he wanted a D, moved out 5 days later and regularly sees his OW. After 22 years of marriage I'm suddenly single again. This is not how I pictured my future.<p>I'm 45 years old and look pretty good - size 6/8? I don't want to go to a bar by myself and I don't know any single people. So where does that leave me? The guys that are my age want someone younger. The guys that are older than me - still want someone younger than me. Hey! I'd like someone younger, too! In fact, statistically speaking I need someone in his twenties to keep up with my "needs"!! LOL!!<p>But the truth is - I'm nowhere near ready. He's only been gone 6 weeks and I'm still grieving the death of my marriage. I think the hardest part is that he betrayed and rejected me and has already replaced me. Suddenly Single BSs need affirmations that they're still desireable.<p>Companionship would be nice. Dinner, a movie, just someone to talk to. But I've got two teenagers and I won't subject them to the whole older singles dating/sex thing, no matter how lonely I get.<p>I guess some of that companionship thing is why I keep coming back here - even though I have no chance at re-building my marriage. I don't know where you meet people (no support groups in town) or even how to date. The last time I was single the sexually transmitted diseases didn't kill you.

Well Guys here is my take on dating. I have been seperated from my Ex for 16 months now divorced for almost 1 year. I didn't start dating until 1 year after the seperation. It was 422 exactly. I used that year to heal myself. I didn't really have the need for anyone for along time. I was filled with all kinds of fears. I would imagine myself growing old and alone having never had sex again ect. <p>Anyway I met a guy about 2 months ago. The relationship was very exciting and yet very stressful. I think I fell to fast and almost did a few things I would have later regretted because it just felt so good to be wanted again. We broke it off mutually and remain friends but it opened a whole new self awareness about me I didn't know was there. I feel so much more confidant again and alive. <p>I have found somebody now about 2 weeks ago that I never thought I'd find. When I would imagine what I wanted in a man it was pretty much this guy. I have learned to take it slower this time and to just enjoy this relationship. We like to do alot of the same things, we have the same values and feelings about things. So just enjoying being with him is easy to do.<p>Anyway, yes there is life after divorce. There is love after divorce and there is sex after divorce.
Sometimes it just takes awhile to find that special person. You will make mistakes, you will fall hard sometimes and crash and burn but dust yourselves off and jump back on because it can be one hell of a ride.<p>Jill

Jillybean,
Where did you meet these guys? It seems that everyone who has met someone has been able to do it easily...I think that the guys who are like me don't get out very much as they are spending all their time on the "place" (horses, cattle, etc.)
Anyway, I would appreciate some ideas!
Thanks, Kristine<p>[ November 07, 2001: Message edited by: JDQ ]</p>

Thank You all for your messages! I appreciate hearing from all of you!<p>Take Care and God Bless!<p>Bryan [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img]

<small>[ August 08, 2004, 03:01 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>

<small>[ August 08, 2004, 03:01 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>

Hello All!

I think I'll start in about 75 years. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>-AD

<small>[ August 08, 2004, 03:02 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>

AD...<p>I have only been divorced 2 months and I totally understand your feelings about waiting! I can't wait 75 years, but maybe 1-2 will be enough!<p>Take Care!<p>Bryan [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img]

Maybe I was just joking - about the 75 years.<p>But seriously, before I married her, my W was GREAT - very affectionate, respectful, kind, always went to church with me - etc. After we married, she almost immediately turned into her mother - or at least into a completely different person. So.... how do I know that won't happen again? I mean, just because somebody seems wonderful doesn't mean it would be wonderful to be married to them.<p>I realize that my W really is a very special case - not at all an average woman, but still I am a little frightened of the prospect - and want to be rather cautious.<p>-AD

AD..<p>I totally agree with your point! Sometimes people do change drastically after they are married! My ex-wife was a good example of this.
Believe me, I am very cautious about the people that I date and all that I can say is that a divorce makes your think very very hard before you decide to be "serious" with someone again!<p>Take Care!<p>Bryan [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img]

Thanks everyone!

this topic has been on my mind much lately because I am in the process of a divorce but at the same time I feel that my marriage had died a slow death for the last 6 years... I grieved for about 3 months and I had one day that I totally crashed and grieved for my relationship and every other sorry thing that has happened to me... after that day I have felt better. That was 5 weeks ago... well three weeks ago I met a guy who has been divorced for about 1.5 years and mine will not be final until January... some people have told me to go slow and I am concerned about this rebound thing everyone talks about... does any one know of any good sites or books to read about rebound and what it means? thanks

Laura..<p>I wish you the best in your relationship! I am 29 and I have been dating girls (women) around 24-27, so they are still in that "party all the time" mod! I have settled down alot in the past 2 years and I am very willing to be patience for the Right girl to come along! I think I need to be less aggressive in the search for ms.right. It seems like that works most of the time!<p>Take Care!<p>Bryan [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img]