As I mentioned in other postings, my W was serving me D papers last week. For whatever reason, time, availability, whatever...I was not served. Today, on my way home from work, she calls me and said her atty feels it would be faster if I call him tomorrow and arrange to meet him to have the papers served.

Is it just me, or is this crazy. I don't want a D but I am suppose to see her atty to pickup papers stating my W wants a D. I don't have an atty of my own, fired her, see the Suicide post link below. I have not hired a new atty, figuring if God wants me to work on this M, having an atty misdirects the energy and praying required elsewhere.

NEED ADVICE.
If I have to meet her atty, I want him to know I DON"T WANT A DIVORCE and that I LOVE MY WIFE. I want him to know that I want to work on this M in every and anyway I can. Without going into the TRO case, I want him to know that my then atty told me some things that were said between him and her (confidential) - I know that would cause problems for my x-atty, but...I don't know what to do.

I have to call him at 10:00 AM Wednesday, so ANY rush advice is truly appreciated.

Wanting my marriage to survive,
TTSMM

Don't know anything about your story other than what was mentioned in this thread. Personally, I can find nothing good in telling her atty anything. It's my opinion that some of these statement might even make your struggle harder. If it is God's will, this marriage will be saved.

In the meantime, you need to get a new atty fast.

Trying:

You might be trying to save your marriage, but you are going about it all wrong. Don't be a bit surprised if by your actions, you are driving her further away.

I've been reading your posts. You sound like a person who wants help, but you seem to want it on your terms. That isn't going to work.

LostHusband is right, you desperately need to get your own legal counsel, and you need to let your lawyer make the decisions. You are going to have to take some direction. If you really think your way of doing things is so good, what are you doing here?

And you sound like need professional help for yourself. You can't change your wife, the only person you can change is you.

I know this post is blunt and I apologize for that. But if you are ever going to save your marriage, the first thing you must do is save yourself from yourself. Even the things you are writing about yourself leave the reader questioning your motives. Please, get legal and professional help, and for pete's sake, follow their directions!

Trying to Save,

I don't agree with what Bumperii told you. I believe you are doing the RIGHT thing, but be assured, alot of people, like Bumperii, will call you "nuts" and "sick" in need of help! Believe me, I know, because I too am seeking restoration of my marriage and I know many people who either are seeking it or have been restored, and not one single one of them have escaped being seen as "in denial," or "sick" or given advice like Bumperii gave you.

I can't remember your previous posts or if I've read them, but I would very, very kindly tell your wife that you do not want the divorce and she will have to be the one to file for it if that is what she insists on doing. I also don't think you need an attorney and believe that they can often only make things worse.

Have you gone to www.rejoiceministries.org or www.restorem.org? They talk about how to handle this there... I think... I know they talk about attorneys, but it might be in their books. One of the men who reconciled with his wife said that had she gotten an attorney, they prob. wouldn't have reconciled. She put her whole faith in God and trusted Him to protect her and meet all her needs. It's scary though. The other woman did get an attorney, but a Chrisitan one who supported the marriage and who didn't try to make the husband look bad.

I went to an attorney only one time... out of fear... thinking I needed to because other people told me I should. It didn't do me squat and made my husband very angry and fearful that I wanted to destroy him. I regret ever doing that and would've been better off not.

So, I'm not sure your situation, but I don't think it's crazy for you to tell your wife that you don't want to divorce and that if she does, she will have to file for it. Tell her that you love her and you will not divorce her, and that you are sorry if that upsets her, but that she is your wife and you vowed to love her 'til death.

You do NOT need legal counsel. You have the Word of God. IN FACT, the Bible tells us NOT to go to lawyers but to go to the Church to handle our problems. I think its either in Matthew or 1 Cor. where it talks about that. I think it's 1 Cor. The world viewpoint is that you need to look out for yourself and you need to get attorneys to protect you. Is God not sufficient to protect you?? He is more than able. Also, the world does not see as a Christian does.

To say that you must "save yourself from yourself" is some of the most foolish advice I've ever heard. NO, I do not agree with Bumperii... I do not think you are sick, trying to control your wife, or in need of legal defense.

Granted, I haven't read everything, but I do believe you are doing the RIGHT thing! Please guard your heart against the type of adivce given by Bumperii because you will get that type of advice. Get your advice from the Word of God!!

Also, get these books:

This one is only $3.99 by Ed Wheat. Excellent! http://www.crosslifebooks.com/bookpages/HowToSave.htm

This one is by Gary Smalley and also very good and specifically for men trying to win back their wives: http://www.crosslifebooks.com/bookpages/HowToSave.htm

I say a prayer right now that the Lord heals your marriage and restores it. Again, I emphasize to you to be very, VERY discerning when seeking legal counsel... it can do more harm than good by making things very ugly which will only embitter your wife all the more. If she sees you having faith in God and not out to get her or defend yourself, that can really soften her heart.

You are not going about it wrong, not in need of prof. help, not going to be destroyed if you don't get an attorney, not needing to "save yourself from yourself," and not going about it wrong again. But, the world will look at you that way, just as I also have been looked at that way and so has everyone who choses to love their spouse, trust the Lord, and not take worldy advice but follow God's ways instead!

Go to those websites!!!!

God bless you!

From www.restorem.org. Their testimony. This is the woman who didn't get an attorney. But she also advises against causing your spouse to become angry by not signing papers. So... if your wife insists and is fuming because you won't sign, then you should sign even though you have made it clear that you do not want to.

You know, I signed the papers. I didn't know what else to do. My husband later told me that had I not signed them, he would've not divorced me. For him, it would've shown him that I truly loved him because he didn't believe that I did.

Pray for discernment. Each situation is different and God works in different ways in each of our lives. Don't keep insisting with your wife. I mean, tell her you don't want the divorce but say it gently, in love, and not to make her feel guilty, etc.

It is not easy. May God give you WISDOM!

"The Testimony of How God Restored Our Marriage"

In January of 1989, I left Erin for another woman. However, the Lord gave Erin the heart and endurance to stand for our marriage. It was during this fiery trial that Erin became a new woman. She studied the Bible concerning marriage and began to apply the principles in her life. Like the three youths who were thrown into the fiery furnace, Erin too became "loosed" of things in her life that had her "bound." She also found herself walking with another, her precious Lord. (See Daniel 3:25.)

Everyone, even the most respected pastors in our city, told Erin that it was hopeless to fight against my desire to leave her and be with another woman. But Erin found in God's Word that "nothing is impossible with God!" (Luke 1:37) It was during this time that she founded Restore Ministries to help those who also wanted their marriages restored. She began by sharing with each of them the Scriptures the Lord had shown her. Soon there were too many women to help individually, so she began to type out the Bible references. Some of the women who came had never held a Bible in their hands, so Erin began to type out entire verses and then make copies to minister to the these hurting and abandoned women.

However, the more she helped other women, the worse her situation became. The fiery furnace was turned up when I divorced Erin in October of 1990. However, the Lord gave Erin the peace she needed to not fight or contest the divorce, but to trust in her Lord. Undaunted, Erin continued to minister to other women by sharing the Word of God. She told the Lord that if He would restore her marriage to the man she loved, me, she would devote her life to helping women in marriage crises. That's when Erin put together a workbook for women - A Wise Woman Builds Her House: By A FOOL Who Tore Hers Down with Her Own Hands.

Our marriage was miraculously restored due, in part, to Erin's obedience to not obtain an attorney. God delivered me when it was discovered that even though the judge had granted the divorce on October 30, the papers that had been filed by my attorney were in error and the divorce had to be overturned. This, to me, was the first sign from God that He would "somehow" deliver me from the cords that had me bound to the adulteress.

Had Erin had an attorney, the divorce would not have been overturned. However, I was unaware that Erin had dreamt of a big wedding from the day the Lord told her that the divorce would go through until the day of God's mighty deliverance (7 weeks and one day after the judge granted the divorce)!

Erin, who had "hoped against all hope" (Rom. 4:18), received her miracle on January 29, 1991 at 11:10 p.m. when I returned home to her and our four children. This was after adultery, and after divorce, just over two years after I had left her.

Restore Ministries International
Over the next five years, the Lord blessed us with three more babies as Erin continued to minister to other women. In 1996 the first version of How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage, which was taken out of the workbook, was published. Thousands of requests for the book started coming in to Restore Ministries and the publishers from all over the U.S. and from abroad.

Soon many men began requesting their own restoration book, so Erin, with Dan's help, wrote a manual for men, A Wise Man Builds Upon a Rock: By A FOOL Who Built His On Sinking Sand and How God Will Restore Your Marriage: There's Healing after Broken Vows.

Eight years after I came home, God placed in my heart to give Erin a special wedding even though she never told me about her prayer. God was so faithful to His Word and gave Erin the "desires of her heart." And so on May 24, 1999 the gloriously restored Thiele family had a big beautiful wedding on our 20th Wedding Anniversary. If you would like to see our beautiful wedding.

In December of the same year, I sold my advertising business and went into ministry full time with Erin. Today, through Restore Ministries International, we now minister to men and women primarily over the Internet and through books, audio tapes, and video tapes. Just recently Springfield's newspaper, the Newleader, did an article on divorce, which featured our ministry and our testimony. Click here to read the article.

God is more than able to heal and save marriages, especially yours! The Lord's Word clearly holds both the truth and the power to change a seemingly hopeless situation.

Thanks LoveMyEx,
I agree with you, I am doing the right things. I am not LBing, even in the face of anger; e.g., over the weekend she came downstairs when I was watching TV and wanted to know what I meant by "You lied on the witness stand." (In previous postings I beleive I mentioend that she brought up an incident of my grabbing her wrist - 5 years ago - and said it happened thhis year. That is how she was able to get me out of the house on the TRO.) Anyway, I was about to answer, and I knew I would NOT be able to keep my cool, so I said an Our Father, and kept my mouth closed. She was upset and said some strange things. "I know every police officer that has been to the house. I did not recognize the officer on the stand during the TRO. Did you pay your uncle (an ex-NYC detective) to get that officer on the stand/" I know that this is not her talking, but that it is Satan. I will admit that during her anger, it took every bit of my strength (which God re-inforced) to keep my mouth closed. And WE (Him & I) did it.

Concernig the lawyer.
I spoke with Cerri before I was suppose to call the lawyer. She, as others agreed to not call him. Not to run away from the person serving the papers. I called my W's lawyer, an hour later than originally expected. His asst said I could not talk to him, it had to be through my lawyer. I told her I did have a lawyer and that I am working on my M. I left that msg w/her lawyer.
After my call, I called CARE-24 (a help service provided by my company) to start finding a lawyer. I want to thank you for reminding me though to find a Christian lawyer. I will have to investigate further (any NJ referrals are appreciated). During the TRO, my then lawyer, wanted to have me file for D and to "rake" my W over. I told to check the pulse of the hearing and to act accordingly. I told that I was not out to hurt my W, just to get the TRO vacated and myself back in the house. She disagreed with me, but said she would do what I requested, and she did.
Now, if I need to get another lawyer, I will follow that same belief. That belief that God will see me through this and that it is His will, not mine, will be done.

As a side note. Talking with Cerri yesterday was great. Do you know of any way that I could talk to you or other MB'ers? How do I find out if there are MB'ers in my area? SOmetimnes, having that immediate voice on the other end of a phone line can be immensely supportive.

I had a very uplifting Bible session with my mentor yesterday. The subject was PEACE. On my men's team, we had a word that each of us would want to exemplify. Mine was having peace. Through excepting God's love for me, and through returning that love to Him, I will have peace. My mentor also gave me NIV tapes of the New Testament, which I started listening to today in the car to work.

This past Sunday I attended an SLAA mtg (Sex and Love Addcits Anonymous). I am still searching for answers of whether or not I am an addict (previous posts mentioned this). I do know that i am not as bad as those mentioned in the literature. I will not make comparisons to those in the mtg, as that would be judging. But though being around poeple who want to improve their lives by not doing certain things, can only be helpful.

lastly, Cerri, recommended i check into an Anger Management class. I think that is a good idea and I will ask God for guidance on this as well.

Thanks you for your supportive and inspirational words.
TTSMM

Hi TTSMM,

I agree, if you are not willing for the divorce to happen, do not meet with that lawyer to pick up divorce papers. The most they can do is serve you some other way.

Sent with Love, Ladysheep

All,
Not so great a week. The only conversation was when she needed $. I have felt very lonely at night, wanting to be w/my W.
I have been reading the Gospel of Matthew (finished it) and have 2 chaps left in Gospel of Mark. I also have been listening to the New Testament on tape in my car. The Word is pretty powerful.

Today, Sunday, I was taking the kids to the annual Church picnic. I made the mistake of telling my W that Mass would be said at the picnic. A few minutes later, she was on me about how after the D the children would not be attending Church as much. Because she is the Mother, she has the ultimate say-so in how they are brought up. So not to LB, I stood there and listened to her. She said some new zingers at me this time. "I don't even think you are a good father. You almost got us our D killed with your raod rage. If it wasn't for the kids I would tie a rock around your neck and throw you into the depths of the ocean." I kept quiet through out but then she called me a lier, because she said I never called her atty. Because I am not allowed to speak to him. I made the mistake of taking the bait from her and answered back. Afterwards, I told her that I wasn't going to help her D me, and that manby people think she is crazy for asking me to help. WRONG WORDS. After all of this, it was difficult to continue to have faith in our Lord; but I kept saying, "Where there is God, there is Hope."
The picnic was a lot of fun. I met up with a family that we knew before we moved into our house. They sort of know what is going on from my W. The woman said, everyone deserves a second chance. This felt good and she said she would pray for us.
While at the picnic, she called me beacuse she wnet through my personal things (again). She came across a questionaire I had filled out from SLAA. She was upset beacuse she was afraid that she might catch disease from my indiscretions. I just listened on the cell phone while she asked me what things meant on the form. I was totally honest with her (she has no reason to fear) and she was not satisfied; feeling I was lying as in the past. Then she hung up on me.
A few minutes later she called because she had twisted her ankle and it was swelling up like a baseball. She was only telling me so I would be prepared when we came home, becaue she was not going to go to the doctor. I let her know that I would do whatever she needed from me, and that I felt she should go to the the ER to make certain that she didn't break it. I had mixed feelings taking her to the ER; being there in her time of need and feeling what's the use. As I write this, she is still in the ER waiting. I came home because the kids were being total pains. So now I am waiting for her to call so I can pick her up. Because of the ER I missed my SLAA mtg tonight. Again, I did this because i love her. I just don't feel that it is going to soften her in the least.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Keeping the hope,
TTSMM

Trying
Your wife must be very very angry with you and also very scared and confused. I know you want to restore your marriage but I have to tell you when my ex had his TRO vacated and got back in the house I got madder at him. I thought he wasn't honoring my wish to be left alone and doing this just to spite me. I would have felt more cared for if he had just left when I first asked him and not brought it to a point of requiring a TRO in the first place and having the TRO vacated and getting back in the house to gloat made me feel even more hatred for him. I think leaving your wife alone and moving out may be the thing that wins her back. Would you be willing to give this a try. Don't forget we often realze the value of some things only after we lose them.

ruby1,
I was out of the house for three months from the TRO. First, the hearing was suppose to be 10 days after the TRO was served. I couldn't find a lawyer, so it was postponed to 36 days. During that time, my W got a lawyer as well (yes, she was ready to go into the TRO hearing w/o an lawyer, which is what I should have done). After the judge found "no credibility" in her testimony, the TRO was vacated. When I returned to the house, she had the locks changed and called the police on me for "attempting to break and enter". When I showed the police the TRO was vacated, the detective had the nerve to say that that just meant there was no evidence against me this time. A month and a-half later, I grabbed a copy of the key when I was there to give her some money (see my Suicide post below), when I found out she had filed. I moved back into the house in beginning of August.
Since being out of the house I missed Our 10th Wedding Anniversary, our Son's 3rd Birthday, my 40th Birthday, and several holidays (Mother's Day, Father's Day, Memorial Day, July Fourth), and most of the summer with the kids.
In those three months w/o much contact, she has gathered up a case against me to D me. She will not talk to anyone who disagees with her, so much to the point that her family had told her in the past to give me a chance because she told them I was changing. She guilted them into backing her up on the D (her family is not very supportive in anything).

Now to answer your question, "NO, I don't think separation would make her want to stop the D."

Sorry, if this comes across as bitter, AND, I am because she has had a whole lot of influence into leaving me. Lawyers don't give a dam about saving a M, only about destroying one and getting the ca$h. And therapists are just as bad. Her therapist (our therapist) tells her to do what makes her feel good about herself, and that he has seen my type before and that I am manipulative. Funny, he never said any of those things about me to me. So I don't even know who to trust anymore. If you pay someone for help, are they telling the truth or are they telling you what you want to hear?

As a final note tonight.
I picked up my W at the ER and took her home. No borken bones, but a bad sprain. I went out to the drug store for her medicine; rolled down her bed, adjusted an old pair of crutches, etc. When she went to bed she said, "Thank you very much for everything you did tonight." I gues I deposited some love units into the bank. Is it too late though?

TTSMM

THIS IS LONG!
Venting and looking for answers. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

So much for NOT LBing. My Taker couldn't take it any more. And...I blew it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
First, she was very appreciative of my helping her yesterday. I took off from work so she could stay in bed and heal her sprained ankle. I made her breakfast, went ot the store, even drove her to the court house so she would see where it was (she has an appt on Friday with the court counselor to discuss how she should talk to our kids about the D).
On the way home, a car in front of us was pushed of the road, up an embankment and into some trees. I stopped the car to check if anyone was hurt. My W got impatient because we had to pick our D from the school bus stop (some 45 minutes later). She told me that I always put somebody else before the family. We were only five minutes away from the bus stop. We got into an arguement over this. I feel no guilt over stopping and helping. I told her that I knew how much time I could spend, etc. She told me that based on the past she couldn't trust me; that I was only helping because I wanted the glory. When we got home, this conversation changed and we both calmed down. BTW, our D's bus was over 30 minutes late.
She told me "Thanks. You were a real friend today. I can't depend on anyone else." This was in reference to the helping her around the house and taking care of her. She shared with me how she received no help from any of the mothers at the bus stop while I was out of the house. I wanted to tell her, beacuse you told them right away that you were going to D me, just after you met them. But i didn't, I kept my tongue.
Here's where I blew it. She asked for some more food just after I made her some, and I gave her look. She then said that she had taken care of me so many timse when I was sick in the past. I gave her another look and walked away, to get her food. My Taker was enraged, and left to get some things at the store. When I returned, I was still upset, fool that I was/am; and she could sense it. After the kids went to bed, she comes downstairs to tell me, "Stop trying to save it (the M)." I told her that she had no right to tell me not to save it. I should ahve just agreed and continued trying later. We got into an arguement, got loud, LBing and I walked out to cool off. When I came back, she wanted to start in again. I told to leave me alone and go to bed. I could not sleep. I read a few chapters of the Bible and finally passed out.
I was still pi**ed this morning and it was more at me, but there was some definitely some towards her. And again, she could sense it. My remarks were not bad, but my tone was curt.
I said a Roasy on the way to work, litened to a Bible tape and tried to get my head together. She called me at work about last night, and I lost it. Then she went off about my addcition, and illness, the usual crap. All I saw was RED. I made various threats (after pleading for reconciliation). Threats were: find an expensive lawyer and blow our saving and equity on the house, so she wouldn't get the house in the D; get fired for same; find a less stressful and salaried job so she would lose the house. I told her that I had busted my tail to get the house and proved for a better life and thsi is what I get. It just wnet on and on, both of us, hurting the other. I have used idle threats (sometimes I wish I would follow through on them) in the past because it was the only way to ever get a word in edgewise. She never lets me get my full sayso, and she feels that there is no side of the story from me, there is only her side and it is right.
So there you have it. Two individuals who never learned how to communicate; her nver letting me talk, and me making threats to get my point across.
I have faith in God that this can be saved and he gave me a great opportunity by allowing me to care for her the past 36 hours. But my ego, pride, whatever my problem is and her hurt, just swallowed up those love units and multiplied them 100-fold as debits.

After this last blowout, she called her lawyer and I will be served the D papers on Friday.

Why does it take two people to get married and only one to get a divorce? Why is the system so screwed up that they will only make it mandatory for counselling for us to speak to our kids about D, but not to demand mandatory counselling when an M is on rocky ground?

I feel like I have to cut my tongue out of my mouth in order to not LB.

Why can't she sit down with me to discuss things? Why is still treating me a child and interrupting me, because her words (she feels) are more important that what anyone else, especially me, has to say? She says the same things over and over again, but I am not allowed to repeat anything, ever.

I have lost hope, because I caused this. She still thinks that I am a sex addict. I have read books and been to meetings, etc. and I feel that if I was still doing the behavior of 5 years ago now, I WOULD BE A SEX ADDICT. But I am not. I have not. I have learned my lessons. I want to save my M. I can be trusted. Her thing is says she can never trust me again; and she is still interested in having sex. I told her I would go away to a clinic if she wants; take a drug; whatever to save the M. "That's great", she said, "work on your self for someoneelse."
She tells me that as an addict, I must really be lonely and have no self love. I do love myself. These actions were FIVE F***ING YEARS AGO. "That doesn't amtter she says. It doesn't matter in a D."

I have my Bible reading session tonight. I hope God will give me some peace tonight. Help me to lilve with my stupid actions and with all destruction I have caused upon my W and children.

I am going home now.

TTSMM <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Trying
I can identify with your wife. I was very angry at my ex,too. Your wife is probably very frustrated and just wants to blame you endlessly (I did this, too). Let her talk, just tune out if you can.
My ex did not try to save our marriage at all but he refused to give me space when I needed it so much. He was not affectionate and he gave me the impression that everything was about proving himself right. I really think you would have a better chance of saving your marriage if you just back off a little bit. Let her understand what she will miss. Don't be ignorant and cold just formal.
Good luck

ruby1,
Thanks for your advice.
I was handed the D papers last night. I have not read them yet. I am getting together with a friend tonight so I am not alone during this.
This morning she again started in with me. I won't go through the details; except for that at one point she mentioned about another friend of mine who is having a party which my family is invited to. She said she wasn't going to come with us. I told that I wasn't asking her to (trying to give her space). Instead, she gets upset saying that if I was trying to save the M, why am I not inviting her? DO WOMEN EVER SAY WHAT THEY MEAN?

I am getting deeper into my spiritual life, reading the Bible, praying, talking to God. I know anything/everything is possible with God, I just feel like this might not be; especially since she is agnostic.

I wish I could talk to some of the posters directly. Waiting for repiles to postings takes a long time, and sometimes I need an immediate response.

She laces into me pretty strong, calling me names, attacking my parents, calling me sick, "once a cheater, always a cheater", just too much to handle.

Thanks for the venting.

TTSMM

TRying
I know you are going through a very hard time. God bless you. To answer your question women rarely say what they mean. We expect you guys to figure it out <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Just kidding, when we get frustrated we can be very difficult to understand. Believe me your wife is frustrated. I think your tactic of giving her space has already started working. She seems to be showing some jealousy for not being invited to your friend's house. Let her be, give her room to invite herself but don't ask her to tag along. Oh, by the way in my state if you have sex after divorce is filed you can get the case dismissed. You can prove this if your children see you sleep in the same room, you don't need someone see you two having sex. Check your state laws.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by tryingTOsaveMYmarriage:
<strong>I wish I could talk to some of the posters directly. Waiting for repiles to postings takes a long time, and sometimes I need an immediate response.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">(((TTsMM)))

I presume you've read through the papers. I'm curious as to what your reaction was and how you're doing.... As a divorced Christian, I can relate to some of your feelings.... If you want to talk e-mail me at billwb70@hotmail.com.... I only check that account a couple times a day, but i'll send you my direct e-mail that's always on.....

I was handed the D papers last night. I have not read them yet.
Were you served them by a process server or did your wife just hand them to you? If she did just hand them to you, then they are not "officially" in your hands unless you sign a form stating you agree to the waiver of service. (I'm not a lawyer but this is how it works).

I am getting together with a friend tonight so I am not alone during this.
A male friend, correct?

<small>[ September 15, 2003, 10:15 AM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>

Chris,
Yes it was a man.

LostH,
I sent you an email today, and I would like to talk to you, thanks.

God bless,
TTSMM