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Guess what. XH called today to notify me and the kids that he is flying off to ARizona. Where the other woman lives. To take some tests for his air conditioning license, persay. I asked if he is going to meet with the other woman, and he said he is going to look her up. Now remember who XH is, on these boards. He is going to look her up. Well, he already has looked her up. And I gather that he is going to stay with her in her bed.

There is no other reason for him to look her up. Cause I already knew he was talking to her for a long time. So this is an opportunity for them to start over the sexualness of their relationship. All I know is it won't last, like Peachys husband, and many others here. Her love was not for him, it was for what he gave to her. She did nothing to give to him, and he will get burned again.

Anyways, my kids know that their dad is going out to Arizona, and I gather they all know that he is going to see the other woman too. I expect their comment will be, he is a divorced man and he can do whatever he wants. Which is true. I just don't want anypart of her, and don't want anypart of their relationship. The other woman treated me with disrespect, and so did my XH. Let them live in their sinful life and let their life be what it is. All I know, is that he has not shown my chilren a morally decent life. He has not shown my children, the way to treat a wife.

Anyways, an update, so he won't be posting much while he is gone.

I am okay with it. Just if I ever talk to her again, which I hope I don't. I will tell her how vindictive she was, and mean spirited she was, and how manipulative she was to me. And that I really would rather not know her at all. She will never be a person that I would want to know, with all that she has done in her life, and done to her husband with 2 sexual affairs and the first being a minister. And all that she did to my husband at the time, and how she was a liar and used my husband and myself with all the money that he spent while she sat at home and twiddled her thumbs, and I was working my butt off on the business. She is not marriage material.

Maybe my X will realize that one day. Maybe he will see that she is a vindictive person, and a person that is psyhologically not all there. If not that is his problem.

This weekend, I am taking my kids to see the movie the Passion. This is a movie that is a must, and I asked the kids if they all will go with me. This is going to cost me plenty, but I feel this is a necessary movie.

Have you all heard about the book 'Passion of Jesus'? It is about Jesus' pain for our sins. And it is new, can't remember the title. But the christian program I listen told, said it is brand new, and very powerful. I will wait till the library gets the book and read it.

Just an update, and I am doing fine. Gave XH a deadline of paying off my medical bills, for which is in the divorce decree. And will take him to court if necessary. This man is really screwed in the head, and I at times feel sorry for him, then I don't. Cause he is the one that had the affair, the lies, the deceit. He is a lonely man with no friends.

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Are you EVER going to write a post about YOURSELF instead of the goings-on of your EX HUSBAND and/or his OW? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

You wrote: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I expect their comment will be, he is a divorced man and he can do whatever he wants. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You would do VERY WELL to LISTEN to them!!

I haven't written to you for a long time, Faith/Thinker... and there have been so MANY times I've wanted to... but whenever I did in the past you just said you needed time to heal, vent and wallow.

Yes, you need time... yes, you need to deal with snl to pay your medical bills. Yes, you will have *some* dealings with him for (possibly) the rest of your life. I also understand wallowing in your pain... I've done my share of it too.

But c'mon... stop this madness of putting yourself in the middle of HIS life. YOU HAVE A LIFE TO GET BACK! GO GET IT!!

I understand pain -- I have a frozen shoulder (not because of an abusive H, because of an accident). I am having a horrible time finding work. I do understand your frustration with those things! But to waste your time fretting about what snl is doing or not doing is just HURTING YOU.

Please take care of YOURSELF!

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New beginning - just stating the facts and nothing else. He is a FREE man, like I am a free woman. And my time is coming that I will date and find someone that is a true christian.

Just thought that you all would like to know about XH and his doings. I don't really read his posts that much anymore, cause they are mostly the same thing over and over.

And I am getting on with my life. I went on a vacation and it was great. I worried about my kids, just a mom thing. I worried about my animals, cause I a an animal lover. I did worry about my Mom and MIL, cause I do love them. And I did think about XH. But given time, it subsided.

I have an exam coming up and 2 papers. And am feeling the pressure. This weekend I am going to take my kids to go see the Passion. I would like to do this for my kids, and to bring them back to christian history. Since the affair, they have not wanted to get back into church. They saw that their father committed adultery, and went ballistic. I believe they don't know what to think about religion. I encourage them to talk to God and to think about God. I had a discussion with my son one day, and he actually believes in God, but doesn't see any sense in going to church. For Easter, I am going to ask them all to go to my church with me for Easter. That would be such a pleasure to show all my children to my church family.

Yes, I am dealing with pain in my shoulder from the abuse that SNL did to me. And whomever he wants to be now here on MB. But of course, his writings state the same, that he is not responsible for his actions. Just like his affair, he justifies everything.

Time heals, and time will bring me joy with someone who admires me for me. If God is willing. I just want a christian man, that loves God #1, then his wife. If not, I will be okay, by myself. I have many interests, and joys in life. I have great family to enjoy being with. I have friends that I enjoy, and have met new friends at my church. That is the difference between XH and I. He doesn't have a friend. Except you guys here. And I had friends always calling me while we were married. He would get mad when they called, and it irritated him that I had friends. Cause he has no one to talk to. Except now, he has his other woman. Which maybe that is what he needs now. Just sorry that he has to fall for a woman with so little value.

You can post to me. I am getting it little by little. Time is working on my feelings, and emotions. And of course, I will be on anti-depressants for another year maybe. I do feel they have helped greatly. XH mentioned the other day that I should get off of anti-depressants. I listened, but I choose to stay on them, until I feel better.

Hopefully, life will be better and calmer this year. Hopefully, I will find a decent job and if necessary take XH to court to pay all the medical bills he is responsible for. He states he doesn't have the money. But that is life, and the decree states he is responsible. No hard feelings, just want my credit cleared, for my new life. He will never have a credit card, cause he doesn't pay medical bills. Which is okay if it is about him.

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Just thought that you all would like to know about XH and his doings. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">no, we really don't care about your XH. so change that assumption right now.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And I am getting on with my life. I went on a vacation and it was great. . . . . And I did think about XH. But given time, it subsided.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">no, you are not getting on with your life, you are still stuck in the same place, literally and figuratively, as you were 6 months ago. If you had been successful, we would not hear about your XH, you would not be making the stupid assumptions about us wanting to hear about your stupid XH, and blah, blah, blah. . .

send him off to arizona, and wish him well, pack him an airplane lunch, to never return. . . is my vote, and then maybe you can get better, but so far, you can't seem to do it on your own. . .

wiftty

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GOOD!! I hope he has a GREAT TIME!!!

And I'm with WIFTT on this one--Stop assuming we care what he's doing--

You've been divorced how long now??

You know, when my ex and I divorced--I didn't care what he was doing anymore--except where it relates to my kids (who are NOT adults) like your's are--

And I think most of us--once were divorced--don't care what the ex spouse is doing anymore--except where it concerns us directly or our kids--

His going out of town doesn't effect YOU or your kids in the slighest--

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> he is a divorced man and he can do whatever he wants. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Can you repeat this as a mantra to yourself?
You are so stuck and wrapped up in his life and what he's doing. Let it go.
Please talk to a counselor about this obsession you have with him.
I didn't know adultry so I have a different view, but this isn't healthy.
For an example, print out all your posts and show them to the counselor, maybe she can explain to you what we can't.

I hope he has a great time in AZ. Perhaps when he comes back, he'll be happier, treat the children and his mother well, and be a nicer person for getting his emotional needs met.

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">he is a divorced man and he can do whatever he wants. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I disagree. Obviously he felt he could do whatever he wanted when he was married, too, but having a relationship with the woman who was his affair partner will ALWAYS be wrong, even if he had been divorced for 20 years.

I think most people here just want to hear the "good news" - they just want to hear those fairy tale stories about BS's who find some wonderful new SO and live happily ever after.

I want to hear from those other 50ish or older women whose husbands deserted the family and left them in poverty, women who did NOT find Prince Charming or even Prince Good-Enough, women who are alone years after the divorce, still struggling with poverty - and I know there are many of them. Most of the "older" women who once posted on this board are gone - they rarely came back with good news - they just left. Is it because they didn't feel welcome here, where people don't want to hear about the way life really is for most divorced older women?

<small>[ March 18, 2004, 06:44 AM: Message edited by: Nellie1 ]</small>

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I want to hear from those other 50ish or older women whose husbands deserted the family and left them in poverty, women who did NOT find Prince Charming or even Prince Good-Enough, women who are alone years after the divorce, still struggling with poverty - and I know there are many of them. Most of the "older" women who once posted on this board are gone - they rarely came back with good news - they just left. Is it because they didn't feel welcome here, where people don't want to hear about the way life really is for most divorced older women?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm older
I'm struggling with poverty
I didn't find Prince Charming
I rarely post with good news

I post because I want to. I do feel welcome. And THANK THE GOOD LORD THAT MY EX IS MY EX! I am thrilled that he's gotten on with his life, because it means he's not being abusive to me. I am happy that he can afford to go out of the country on exotic vacations 4-6 times a year while I have to struggle from paycheque to paycheque -- because I know that I can do it on my own!

Is it hard? You bet it's hard! Is it worth it? You bet it's worth it!I started to heal after I headed out of the "victim" mentality of "poor me, poor me!" I sat and waited while I wanted everytone to feel sorry for Elan because I was abused, mistreated, left behind in poverty.... Yep, it sucks! But ohhhh am I ever glad that I pulled up my socks and left that rat [censored] ('scuse me) behind! He has NOTHING compared to what I have! He can have the fancy house, the great cars, the vacations -- cause I am the one that has what counts the MOST. I have children who repect and love me, friends who would be here in a heartbeat and no Prince Charming to manipulate his way into my life to the point where I forgot myself. I'll be the one developing relationships with my grandbabies, while Granpa dearest will have nothing because our chiildren actually hate the woman he's with. I'll be the one having those great talks with my friends that last into the wee hours, while the ex will be jet-setting around the world without a friend in the world to spill his troubles to or to share the joy of his child getting on the honor roll once again!

I know what it's like to commiserate with your friends about the "ex" -- but there comes a point where you have to let go and to LIVE. I remember a friend who said the same thing to me -- "Get on with your life and quit living as a victim". I remember being extremely pissed off and "how dare she talk to me like that" -- but you know what? I got on with my life. I told myself that I would go a week without talking about "him" and started focusing on "ME". Thanks Yvonne for giving me the kick in the pants I needed!

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<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> and that week stretched into a month.......

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I echo what has been said in this post by many.

I want to add "Hooray that X is out of town." It is not helpful for you to care with whom and where. When my X goes out of town, no matter why, I celebrate, only because his life, lies and the extra chaos he brings into my children's lives through them is not brought into my home. Vacation time for me too!

Use his time away as a holiday for YOU from him trying to push your buttons, which is what he will continue to do as long as you allow this. You cannot change the past or X, but you can change your present focus which is about how your X is choosing to live his life.

I hope your children do not disappoint you with your Easter plans.

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Nellie1,

--I disagree. Obviously he felt he could do whatever he wanted when he was married, too, but having a relationship with the woman who was his affair partner will ALWAYS be wrong, even if he had been divorced for 20 years.

TR--And nobody said what he did WASN'T WRONG!!!
We are all in agreement that it was--But yes, HE can choose to do to anything he wants to--

No, she doesn't have to LIKE or even AGREE with his choices--but they are his choices--she can not control him--and never could--and you know what even God say's this man has a choice--and God doesn't even like all of His choices--or even agree with them all--but He still says He has them--just like you do--

--I think most people here just want to hear the "good news" - they just want to hear those fairy tale stories about BS's who find some wonderful new SO and live happily ever after.

TR--I totally disagree with this statement--most of us would prefer to hear that the W-spouses changed, sought forgiveness and went back to work on their marriages--but we accept that isn't always the reality--so yes, we encourage other's to move on--

And you want to know something else--If a person who leave's their spouse IS NOT A CHRISTIAN--They are free to leave--the Bible even says that if a non-believer chooses to leave their spouse--LET THEM GO!!!

--I want to hear from those other 50ish or older women whose husbands deserted the family and left them in poverty, women who did NOT find Prince Charming or even Prince Good-Enough, women who are alone years after the divorce, still struggling with poverty - and I know there are many of them. Most of the "older" women who once posted on this board are gone - they rarely came back with good news - they just left. Is it because they didn't feel welcome here, where people don't want to hear about the way life really is for most divorced older women?

TR--or is that they just moved on with their lives and so they don't feel a need to post here anymore?? Maybe they went back to college got their degree's like my mom did after her and my dad divorced--

When my folks divorced my mother met and associated with other divorced women--they went out as a group and had a blast--none of them remarried--and that was by choice--all of them met other men--all were proposed too more than once--all of them went back to college and got their degrees--all of them over 40--one of them is now Vice President at one of the local bank branches--another retired as VP from another company--another one went on to work for the Government and began traveling all of the world with her job--

and in my talking to these women--the thing ALL of them said made the biggest difference in their lives was not staying stuck in what if's--and what could have been's--having the support of others who were where they were to encourage them to move forward with their lives--and reach for the things they had always dreamed of doing--but never did because they were married--

So yes, I encourage other's who are find themselves in this same situation to stop dwelling in the fact they are divorced and move forward--because I personally have witnessed what it can be like for many of them--once they finally decide to move on--

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TR, you always say things so eloquently.

I have the network of which you speak. It's a group of over age 40 professional women who are growing in emotional awareness and try to stay honest with each other. It's the best support network I've ever had. And I met the first one at my Divorce Support Group. I am blessed to have met these friends, and our children will grow up knowing other divorced families - as well as intact familes - and know they are loved.
And we bounce ideas off each other. Edit our letters to our X's. Discuss co-parenting issues, and talk each other down when we get worked up about issues we can't control. And there are people we've included in the mix who haven't felt the way we do, and continue to blame and maintain unhealthy behaviors. They don't fit.

And through this, we've moved on. F4M may be one of those women who is still angry 20 years later, and who wants to be around an angry person.

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Faith,

When you divorce, you can see and sleep with whomever you want to...my xh did it for 2 years before it was final and was living with her immediately after first OW dumped him so get over the fact they're sleeping together.

And it's not like with my sitch. My x may be married to this new W forever...or he might not. But odds aren't good b/c he hasn't changed. I don't know if it will or will not last and it's not my problem anymore. I am glad to be out of it and done.

Am concerned with you b/c of your thought patterns right now. I seriously think it would be good to get on a good antidepressant...my patients do incredibly great on lexapro and it takes much less time to get to steady state meaning that you will get relief from it much faster than with others..I even took it over a year ago briefly...What concerns me is the fact that you are worrying about things you cannot control at all. Only things you should be focusing now on are the unresolved finances or parenting issues that exist.

That's it. Nothing else. Sure, it's normal to feel some of these feelings, but you are worrying about something that's already happened and will continue to happen and I'd like to see you focusing on your...doing nice things for yourself and the kids and focusing on moving ahead in your own life. You don't need a SO to feel good. That comes from inside and you need to find out WHO YOU ARE NOW. Not who you were and your xh doesn't define who you are now.

Something else that upsets me is the fact you talk so much of faith issues yet you pass judgments based on faith upon him. Don't forget the pharisees ok? They were some of the most judgemental pious people as well as the sanhedrin ok? You can say that premarital sex is wrong, affairs are wrong, but God's gonna decide what to do with our xws' ok? It's not up to us.

You talk of faith and love but I don't see it with regard to your xh. It's like you have this love/hate thing with him...hon, the opposite of love is apathy...not caring...versus lashing out. Do you think the words you wrote are going to matter or that it did one ounce of good b/c if he reads it he sees how you're stuck in your life. YOu are.

If somebody wanted someone else to change you gotta remember flies come to honey not to vinegar. But this is something that I still think is not something you can control or do anything about ok?

You're really stuck. And I think both of you have issues to deal with. Both of you. And if you're still stuck here getting mad over your xh, an unmarried man sleeping with a woman, then you need to find another counselor b/c THE ONE YOU HAD BEEN SEEING IMHO ISN'T DOING A LICK OF GOOD. She's not done anything to help you move on and I believe that if you want to move on instead of sitting there wallowing in the cruddy past, then find a new one and dont walk...run to the phone and get an appointment...preferably with a psychologist b/c they can prescribe the med I was talking about ok?

You gotta move ahead.

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Like so man have said. So? The subject line says it all...EXh. It really isn't your business what he does. He is a free man and can see or date whomever he wishes. Tell yourself that everytime you start thinking about what he is doing. You'll get to a better place mentally that way.

TR said it very well.

Someone said:
"I disagree. Obviously he felt he could do whatever he wanted when he was married, too, but having a relationship with the woman who was his affair partner will ALWAYS be wrong, even if he had been divorced for 20 years."

Have to add my .2 worth to this. Don't see it that way. Jesus forgives our sins. All of them if we ask. He doesn't forgive some, but not sexual ones. He made a very good example when he publicly forgave an adulteress/whore in the street. I like this quote from Jesus.

"A certain creditor had two debtors; one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 When they could not pay, he forgave them both. Now which of them will love him more?" 43 Simon answered, "The one, I suppose, to whom he forgave more." And he said to him, "You have judged rightly"

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xh is going to Arizona?

So???

Why should you care?

Does he have to answer to you these days?

Do you have to answer to him?

He is an adult with free will. He makes his own choices.

Get over him.

I know it takes time. But I would have hoped you would have gotten farther down the healing road by now.

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I have been divorced since June of 2003. Almost a year, not quite. Just an update, cause what he writes is not truthful many times, that is why I quit reading his posts. And as far as his identity, he has the problem with not disclosing his true identity. But I think we all know who he is anyway. I do for sure.

I am moving on with my life, and hope to one day become someone of value to a company. I was of no value to the business that I ran for my XH, and now he is reaping the consequences. I on the other hand am going to school, and enjoying the challenges of school, and going to become a professional woman, with a great job.

Yes, there are still triggers, and one of the things that XH still doesn't do, is call me to see if it is okay to come over here. He did it last night, and that will stop, he has been warned. Part of his pattern is he does what he wants without any consideration to others. There is no need for him to be here ever. All the kids drive, and can go to his little bedroom at his mothers house.

I am happy that he will be together with his adulterous woman, the two fit hand and glove. Just want to stay out of his life. His demands are still present, and his obnoxious behavior is still present. If I don't do as he asks, he yells and still calls me occasionally a FB, just 1 1/2 weeks ago. Cause I wouldn't do as he said, I don't have to anymore. But he is still trying to control me, and he hates the boundaries I have set. There are more boundaries, that I am working on, and the counselor I am seeing is helping me.

I am on anti-depressants and will be on them for about another year.

And as far as the injury he did to my shoulder, that will come to an end in June. He will be ordered by the judge to pay the bills, and get my credit clean. See, he preached to me and to my oldest daughter that one doesn't need credit. But he has his mommys credit card to use, and now my oldest daughter has grandmas credit card to use. He screwed his credit for many many years, and he has screwed my oldest daughters credit. But she is realizing that you need a credit card for renting a car, and many other things. As far as him using my SS# and my name for a telephone line that was not approved by me, that will be settled to. I have the paperwork filled out, and if it is not settled, I have no other option but to turn him in for fraud.

He works on his time frame of disorganization, and when he wants to. But now he has to work on the time frame of the divorce decree now, since I have the judge to back me up now.

XH is not marriage material, and until he changes his behavior and attitude, he will be a lonely old overweight bald man.

Things are changing for the better for me. I have gained new friends, and do something almost every weekend. Yes, being in my early 50's is going to be hard, and I may be by myself the rest of my life. Part of being an older woman. But if that is what God has planned for me, I will work and be happy. I enjoy reading, doing my schoolwork, not having someone criticize me. I enjoy my kids, and we are having saturday to go see The Passion. And a cheap dinner. Told the kids, it is going to be tough, and I can't be like disneyland dad and buy airplane tickets, and movies and dinner all the time. They at least know that I care about them, and tell them that I love them everyday. That is what counts, and I said whatever happens happens. I am moving on with my life, and with the Lord.

I really don't ask X what he is doing anymore, cause it doesn't concern me. He just mentioned this last night that he if flying out to ARizona, for what reason I don't know. He doesn't say other things to me, but it could of been a dig to get me, or it could of been just a thoughtful note. Who knows at this point. I do wish that he would move out of state this summer. I do believe it would be beneficial for his mother since he is controlling her life now. And I do believe it would be beneficial for him to get out on his own for a change. Just my beliefs, and that way he won't be around here anymore. Makes breaking away much easier.

I have gotten a few more things done in the house. The leak that has been leaking for about 8 years is fixed, and then another guy is coming out to fix the tile in the bathtub, where the leak was. Part of the tile had to be torn apart.

I got all his old airconditioners and old furnaces cleaned out, it took the guys 3 loads and still is a little left. He just piled them up in the back yard and the pile was huge and mice were building nests in the equipment. When the weather turns nice again, I can rake the area and get it all cleaned up so the lawnmower can go over the area. The yard is starting to look better. By June, the yard should look nice. The boys and I have to level the air-conditioner outside. XH left it really cockided, and it is a miracle the thing runs. All he did was put a bunch of dirt under the plastic form the A/C sits on, and the dirt washed away with the rain. Told him about 3 or 4 years ago, it was getting more crooked, but now, the boys and I can get it level, with blocks. Also, I am going to have the kids help me paint the front of the house that never got finished painted by a deadbeat painter. He didn't do a good job on the house, and the trim is not done. Going to get the trim done too.

Want the house to look somewhat nice for sale, and maybe even start finishing the inside some. I may have to live here for another year, so that would increase the value of the house if more things were done. And then I can get a small place just for me and the animals. And whomever of the kids want to live with me. If I do get the older womans house, it will be ideal. Will find out about that sometime soon.

No more updates on X, for he is history, and is getting out of my mind. Takes time, after 25 years of marriage, that was controlled by him. Divorce was June of 2003. It takes time, but am doing much better than last fall.

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> No more updates on X</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">We will hold you to this, and respond according if you lapse.
Keep the focus on yourself and your future.
We get that which we focus upon, and we've seen you focus on faults of your X too many times.

Picture your life in a year. List all the wonderful things you see at that time. Start a new thread.

Oh, and let this thread die. New beginnings.

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Jesus forgives our sins. All of them if we ask. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It must be really handy to believe that - and I know that not all Christians do. Do whatever you want, and as long as you remember to ask for forgiveness before you kick the bucket, you're all set. Those of us who don't believe that have to remain accountable for what we do.

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Nellie1:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Jesus forgives our sins. All of them if we ask. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It must be really handy to believe that - and I know that not all Christians do. Do whatever you want, and as long as you remember to ask for forgiveness before you kick the bucket, you're all set. Those of us who don't believe that have to remain accountable for what we do. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hi Nellie,

I believe that Jesus forgives sin, but that doesn't take away personal responsibility... or consequences for our choices.

Plus, let's face it... just because Jesus forgave me for *my* sins/choices, doesn't mean I've forgiven myself.

If the end-result is about getting to Heaven (as a Christian) then yeah, the buck stops there. But if it is to live a life of integrity here on earth, then there's still work to do -- and ONLY you (me, us - plural) can do that. Personal responsibility.

Just wanted to clarify from another perspective.

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Faith..why even play that sucker game.

Why would you even ask him if he was looking her up? Its time..no..past time to move on. When he meets his maker..he will have to answer to the "where have you been and what have you done question"

and you will too...dont't forget that.
Smiles (even thought it was rough day for me!!!),
Dawn

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