Well, I had our agreement drawn up and it clearly defines what expenses will be split 50/50. It honestly covers every little thing. It really reads like "Child Support for Dummies." Anyway, my attitude is better safe than sorry and I feel I have done a good job of getting in writing what is expected.

There is only one cost my XH refuses to split, the cost of church classes or CCD for the kids. I just find this so sad. He equated it to a hobby I share with the kids stating that if he takes them hunting he doesn't expect me to pay for it so if I want them to continue the church stuff I shouldn't expect him to pay for it.

I guess I shouldn't be suprised. My XH was one of those, "I don't really go to church, but will since it is important to you" people who then changed to a "I will go once we have kids because I think it is important for them to be raised with religion" people and finally didn't even put on the act simply refused to go kind of people. I was raised Catholic and continued to go without him, bringing the kids with me.

His new wife, the former OW, was also raised Catholic and still practices although she only goes on Christmas and Easter. In typical hypocritical style she drags all four kids and my XH along all dolled up for everyone to see. Who are they kidding? My kids always ask why they only go to church with them on the two holidays and I always decline to answer other than to say I don't know why and to ask them. Although her religious involvement is minimal, I guess I thought that with her upbringing she would still see its importance.

Of course this will not change anything. The kids will still go. They would no matter what the cost was. Funny thing is however that the cost is a total of $35.00 per year for all three of the school aged kids plus an occasional buck or two here for outings. It honestly is the cheapest of all the fees I spend on the kids. The fact that he is refusing it is in my mind just further proof of the type of person he truly is.

I guess I am not really expecting anything here. I just thought this was a really sad example of the type of person I am dealing with. He really doesn't have a clue.

Thanks for listening.

Take care and God bless!
K

Who knows what kind of stuff goes on in their minds. Last year, my x refused to split our daughter's French horn lessons even though they affected her academic grades. You know, sometimes I think they have manure for brains.

Hi Still~

I think it's pathetic!!
But, typical none the less.

Here's one for you, and I'm still not trying to one up you.

While we were apart, and through the divorce I continued to go to church, and pay my contributions.
Do you know, that my X wanted the dollar amount of my contributions to my church, (that he no longer attended since our split, nor any other church) to claim for income taxes.
I told him he was crazy, and that was obsurd!
I couldn't itemize because I didn't have enough alimony to file last year.
But his thought was, the money that I paid, originally came from him, therefore, it was rightfully his to claim.

Is that bogus or what?

I think both these men just dig themselves deeper and deeper.
We can't make sense of it.
Their minds are so messed up, its pathetic.

Here's yet another of my X's antics.
I have mentioned this before, how he is supposed to pick the girls up from school on his days.
However, this does not fit his schedule, so he picks them up 1 1/2 hours after school.
Well, today, he says he will pick them up 45 earlier, BECAUSE he has to pick up OW's D early from the sitter.
Go figure???

They are crazy!

K.

SR, we need to learn to have no expectations of the X's. Watch their actions, not their words.
My friends keep pounding these concepts into my head.
And I still type up 2 pages a week of info. to send to X, and never receive a response. He's incapable of communicating - with me. So I need to have no expectations.

In your case, in the future, you'll likely communicate with the NW more than X. Fun huh!

Oh, and DD5 melted down about having a new stepmom last night. Uggh.

Thanks for the support ladies!

You are right, we will never understand their motives so it is best to stop trying to figure them out and to have no expectations of them, I just have to keep reminding myself.

It is always about money and their having control. My XH is constantly manipulating things to work to his advantage. I have to keep reminding myself that what comes around goes around.

It also sucks to see the kids upset. My kids too act out at my house. They aren't allowed at Dad's so as a result I get a lot of crying and screaming and I can't wait for the weeks ahead as they adjust to the changes. Of course my XH will claim it is simply going great as he will never see their true feelings - UGH!

Oh, by the way, I countered my husband's response with a total acceptance of where he stood, but then stated that since it was my activity that for things like first communion, confirmation, etc. that I would get the kids on these days irregardless of who's weekend it was. When he heard this he of course changed his tune as he said he'd like to have control over these things. Once again it was all about the show of being seen at all the big events as the happy, moral family they so want to portray themselves as. I told him no, he had stated his true feelings and with that in mind I was sticking to my guns. I told him that although I am hoping he'll support their faith, I'm not comfortable having him be responsible for an equal role in their religious upbringing as he
obviously feels it isn't worthwhile. He reluctantly agreed.

It will be interesting to see how this all turns out. Newly you are right, my XH has made it clear that the new wife will be shouldering more than her fair share of the responsibility. This means I'm going to have the true joy of dealing with her. Even tonight on the phone he was talking to me and she kept interjecting things. He finally told her he knew what he was talking about and to let it be. I'd love to hear what was said when I hung up!


I'm sure that this will continue to be a thorn in my side and am continually working on new
ways to keep the pricks to a minimum!

Take care and God bless!
K