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Hi all!
Hopetexas: You need to be careful. When you do the tough love, you do not punish positive acts, but bad ones. If your H wants to talk, we do you have to loose? Tough love is designed to bring the WS their senses.
Avondale: You may need to go away for the holidays. I'm serious. Don't spend the holidays by yourself. Check on a cruise or go to Vegas or something.
Dejavu: Get your medical situation cleared up.
Wallace: Blizzard, what blizzard? Do allow that cold weather to shift to the east coast.
Leah: Yes, I have done the goodole half day stuff for Christmas and Thanksgiving. If both of you agree, the courts don't care.
Me: The gift can be small in appearance but large in price especially if you can see through it like glass.
Later.
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[color:"blue"] Petvet [/color] - OK, we get the hint! You're getting engaged over Christmas. That's great! When you set a date, let us know. The girls will want to buy new dresses and of course, we all need to arrange plane tickets to get to the big event! Do you have a plan on "how" to present the ring? Put it in a glass of champagne? Have a waiter serve it to her? Will you get down on one knee? What's your plan?!?! I guess you will beat [color:"blue"] Wallace [/color] to the altar <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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Where is everybody these days? I'll do Christmas colors to get everyone in the mood... [color:"green"] Wallace [/color]- I am sure you are snowed in somewhere! Are you going to get a "big gift" that "shines" this year for your GF? [color:"red"] Deja Vu [/color] - Is there any update on your situation? I know going into the holidays having "junk" hang over you is not fun. You are very much in my thoughts. [color:"green"] Leah [/color] - What is your time arrangement for Christmas with your kids and their dad? I hope there are no conflicts with that. [color:"red"] EC [/color] - How are you? Any chance of seeing your kids during the holidays? I hope I didn't scare you off with my last post <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> [color:"green"] Trusting [/color] - Have you heard any more from the lady who wanted "friends with benefits"? [color:"red"] Hope [/color] - What's new in your situation? [color:"green"] Relady [/color] - Are you still reading here? If so, please post!
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Hello Everyone!
Avondale - I spoke to my D's. They will not be here for Christmas, but most likely in the summer. I don't know when they'll come, but they have missed out on a lot. I haven't had much time to post lately but will try to do more.
Here lately I've felt I have been in a season of prayer, prayer that moves lifes impossible situations. All I can say is, never give up and judge your future by present circumstances. The blessings of the Lord are great and full of mercy and joy. The kind of joy that springs up within and makes sunshine when the sun is not shinning.
I look back at my storms and even when I didn't want to DV, I had to "Stand Up and Face the Challenge". Many BS's are forced to fight at a time when you just wanted to let it all blow over on its own. The good character built during the standing up makes you a better person.
So my thoughts - Never become bitter at what happened to you, write yourself a mission statement,and keep praying.
Take Care
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Hi All!
Just thought I would drop in for a moment.
Thinking about all of you and as soon as my life slows down a bit here... both work and personal... I'll be able to post again. Hopefully it will be soon.
avondale...
I like those Christmas colors!
Hope everyone is doing well... I'll be in touch.
Stay Strong!
Wallace
Every man dies... not every man really lives. Braveheart
Never take away somebody's hope, it may be all they have.
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Hi all!
Avondale: I think I am going to pop the question on Saturday night. How? Your guess is better than mine. I thought about poping the question during Midnight Mass,but she would never forgive me. As a matter of fact, I probably would not forgive myself. What are you doing for the holidays? Remember, don't stay home alone.
Wallace: Are you planning any surprises during the holidays?
EC: Are you suppose to get holiday visitation with your kids?
Me: I think about you guys often and be intending on posting, but I have limited computer time, but I have to do better.
Later.
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[color:"blue"] Petvet [/color] - Tell us how it went, we're rooting for you! My advice: pop the question prior to a gathering with other people; that way, she can show it off and it will increase her excitement, with others "ooohing and ahhhing" over it. And will certainly make you look good too (although I'm sure you are fine)!
[color:"green"] Merry Christmas to everyone here on the TL thread. May God richly bless you all with his grace and mercy in 2006. [/color]
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Hi Everyone! Well, I'm at work, and I just have a moment, but I wanted to wish everyone a very "Merry Christmas" and a "Happy New Year to all the people on the TL thread, and all the people in MBers! Sorry I haven't been able to post much... but that should change after the first of the year (I hope). I haven't had a chance to read any posts... except Petvets! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Petvet... So your going to go for it? Glad to hear that you and Buddy are going to take the big step. avondale gave you some good advice... I do think it would be a good idea, to do it, just exactly as she stated. Well... I hope the Lord blesses everyone during this Holiday season... and I pray that all of your dreams come true. Merry Christmas everyone! Wallace ps: I would have ended with my usual "Stay strong!", but I thought this would be better. I'll be in touch!
Every man dies... not every man really lives. Braveheart
Never take away somebody's hope, it may be all they have.
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Hello Everyone........
Just dropping a line hello. Not much going on right now besides passing through Christmas.
Petvet - Oh boy, you're going to pop the question! Best wishes in your relationship. It must be nice to be with someone you love. As far as my YD and OD visitation, they're 20 and 22 now, we're past the visitation issue. They can come and go when they want.
Me: I recently spoke with exw on the phone after I spoke with my kids. She was telling me about her brother being cheated on by his wife 3 times in 3 years. She said she advised her brother, (get this), ok if she does it once, try to work it out. If she does it twice, leave her because she's not stopping. My mouth dropped on the phone because she was giving him the advise of what I went through with her. In essence she told me I did the right thing by leaving her after #3-5.
Anyway our conversation was peaceful, we're two worlds apart now. She would mention OM sometimes if she went here or there. At times I felt something rising up in me to blast her about him when she mentioned him, but then I had to remember she's cheating on him also, why bother. I just blessed her and wished her a happy day. There relationship has dwindled.
What I'm learning after dv...You can talk to your ex all you want and even be civil friends, but if they don't think they did much damage to you, you'll only get injured all over again. They may know they hurt you, but not how much. You have to set boundries with them in your conversations, as with any person. They can't have the access to your heart as they once did. You may have a love for them, but it's a past love of how things used to be. They're not there anymore. So don't live in the past and let life go zipping by. There's somebody out there that will love you greatly when the time comes.
While many WS's get restored from the affairs, there's many that don't. While many WS's recover and get back to a peaceful life, many have a warped sense of purity in relationships. A restored marriage is great when the WS seeks to be restored as a person, then the marriage, otherwise don't waste your time.
Thats all folks! See ya
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Merry Christmas to all. May your day be full of joy and happiness. Stay encouraged!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Hi all! I hope everyone had a nice Christmas.
Avondale: Oh NOOOOOOOO! You don't know me very well. When it comes to crowds, I hide under rocks and closets. I would never pull a marriage proposal stunt in public. Case in point, a week a half ago, son and I were eating in a Olive Garden Restaurant, there was this couple setting across from us, I noticed that the guy kept getting up and leaving. At first, I thought the guy may have drank too much tea or something. Each time he returned, he would bring back a small gift. Well, after one of his departures, he gets on one of his knees beside the table and presents a ring to the lady. She was floored. I could never pull that stunt off wothout having a nervous breakdown. I'll tell you my story later. I hope you are on some island somewhere enjoying yourself.
Wallace: We all need to stay strong when it comes to our relationships.
EC: You are correct with your assessment of the WS. The reason your ex gave the advice is she knows the in result of cheating. She knew it while she wasc doing it herself, but it does not matter when everything centers around yourself. I agree with your statement concerning interacting with ex's. You do have to treat them with a grain of salt (if that!)
Me: I asked Buddy to marry me Christmas morning. She was shocked. Oh, she did say yes. I thought about doing it during midnight mass, but I would not be so bold. Besides, I would have looked like a donkey if she said no. Funny thing though, my parents are not happy. My mom flat out said that she does not think I should be getting married. I will say that this was not a surprise to me and Buddy. We have to move forward regardless. PS. Father has never met Buddy. Yet, he does not think we should be an item.
Later.
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[color:"blue"] Petvet [/color] - Congratulations! But I didn't mean pop the question in front of people, I meant ask her in private, but do it prior to a group gathering. Then she can show it off to everyone!
What are the reasons your mom gives for not wanting you to get married? Are they reasons that any mother would give their son/daughter? Do you think she was talking to your dad, and that's how he formed his opinion without meeting Buddy? Aren't adult parents fickled?
How was everyone else's Christmas?
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Hi everyone,
Petvet - Congratulations! I'm glad to hear you and Buddy are moving forward. Sorry about your parents... don't let them rain on your parade!
Sorry I haven't been around much. Things have been rough here, and busy as well.
I leave in a week for my surgery - out of state. Finally got the insurance approval so I'm set. I don't know how long I'll be out of touch but for at least 2 more weeks after the surgery, I'm guessing. I will recoup at my folks for a few days before coming home.
My lawyer presumably is telling my H's lawyer that since they couldn't get their act together all fall, they're out of luck now. I'm not available and will not be addressing their demands for additional paperwork. Too bad, so sad, he can either settle things without it, or wait for 3-4 more months. Oh yes, and pay spousal maintenance while I recoup.
I'm trying real hard to keep my chin up and not let the long confined winter get me down.
I'm thinking good thoughts for all of you too - and I'll check back in when I'm home again.
Take care everyone!
Waiting for dawn...
...but not afraid of the dark.
DDay: Sept 26, 2004
Moved out: Dec 16, 2004
D Final: Oct 10, 2006
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Petvet, Congratulations!! It's so great to see how much your life has improved since I first started reading your thread years ago. You were busily consulting with REM - Do you remember her? I'm so happy for you and encouraged to see your happy ending or beginning. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Belated Merry Christmas Wishes to Everyone, I'm still reading here even though I don't post much. I hope each of you enjoyed a wonderful Christmas. I'm hanging in there. Much continues to happen. Unfortunately, the battle is not finished. My husband has appealed the judges decision and we're headed back to court. He will not let this go easily. It can be so very exhausting. I'm trying to remain positive and strong in the Lord. He knows all and I'm going to keep trusting Him with all that I don't understand. Deja Vu, I wrote you an e-mail last week. I will be praying for you and your upcoming surgery. I hope all goes well. Avondale, How did your Christmas go? Did you stay home or go away? Thanks again for your Christmas gift giving advise. It was helpful. E.C, I always enjoy reading your posts. You post some thought provoking things. Thanks for sharing and encouraging. Wallace, How did Christmas go with your G/F? Was she hoping for the same gift as Buddy? I hope you enjoyed your time with your family. Relady and Trusting Him , I'm not sure if you're still reading here. If so, I hope you are both doing well. I miss hearing from you. Please post when you can. Happy New Year to you All - Wishing each of you God's peace, joy and love!!
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Hi all!
Avondale: I understand now. What did you do for Christmas? I know you have great plans for this evening. At least, I hope you do.
DeJavu: I hope your surgery goes well. Don't even think about the D. You need to take care of yourself.
Leah: I know things are tough. You must hang tough.
DeJavu and Leah: REMEMBER, this dark cloud will pass. Hunker down for the rough ride. During this time, do alot of reflection and self evaluation. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Tough times don't last but tough people do.
Me: Mom has been soo negative about my engagement. I know my marriage will be stressed by the outside forces: namely baby's momma and others, but I have to stay positive and remain spiritually strong with Buddy.
Everyone, have a happy and joyous New Year!
Later!
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Petvet,
Thanks for the encouraging words. Sorry your mom is having a difficult time with the engagement. Does she give you any reasons for being against your marriage? I know how much this hurts. My mom was against my marriage to H. In fact I didn't know if she would even come to our wedding. She did and was very supportive after the fact but she sure made it difficult right up to the day.
How did your mom feel about your first marriage? I hope and pray you can gain her support soon. I'm sure that would mean a lot to both Buddy and you. Hang in there.
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Hi All! I hope everyone had a very nice "New Year", and Petvet you started out the year with a bang. So when is the wedding day? DejaVu... Hope your surgery and your recovery goes well. As weas stated, there is light at the end of the tunnel. But why does the tunnel have to be so long? It gets better as time goes on, I know it's been said many times on these boards... but it truly does. Leah... Hang in there... it's been a long road that you have been on. How much longer do you think you will have to keep coming and going on this custody issue? avondale... Well I guess your next to get engaged! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> How have you been doing? Did you have an enjoyable Christmas and New Year? EC... How did you make out as well during the Holidays? Did you get to see your kids, or did you hear from them? I had to laugh at your comment about your ex-wife. Me... I had a very nice Christmas and New Year. Speaking of getting married... the axe dropped on my end. It's either I get married to my G/F by the end of the year or it's over. So... it's going to get interesting, as we both agreed to not getting married until all the kids were out of both houses, which they are not. Well I hope everyone is doing well. Stay Strong! Wallace
Every man dies... not every man really lives. Braveheart
Never take away somebody's hope, it may be all they have.
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Hey All, I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Year. I don't get to post much any more, so when I'm thinking about it, I have to do it at that moment! Need to increase my dosage of 'kinko.' <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Petvet Congratulations, so when is the date? I haven't even started dating yet! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Avondale : How are you? Is your 'X' still living near you and do you run into him much? Wallace : If you are both waiting for the children to leave, and hey are still there, why does it keep coming up? Leah2be : Hang in there, it will all soon be behind you soon. We've all been there. Hope everyone else is well. I'm going to make an appointment with myself to post more. relady
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I'm still reading here every day, but with people posting less frequently there doesn't seem to be much going on. [color:"blue"] Relady [/color] - it's GREAT to hear from you. I'm also not in the dating pool...and don't plan to be anytime soon. Maybe never. I'm very OK with my life right now, although I will admit sometimes it gets a little bit lonely. I need to be more proactive with calling up my friends. [color:"blue"] Leah [/color] - It's good to hear from you, too. Is anything new with you? Has your ExH made any more progress on getting his financial things together? Where does all that stand? [color:"blue"] Wallace [/color] - Relady is right, we've all heard that before! So will you be caving into your GF's wishes? We'd love to visit Colorado in the summer time for your wedding! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> [color:"blue"] Petvet [/color] - Do you have a date set? Have things settled down with your parents? What are their objections? Are they comparing Buddy with your ExW? [color:"blue"] EC [/color] - Where have you been? Are you still taking classes? [color:"blue"] Trusting [/color] - I'm glad you got to have your kids more than expected over the holidays. How are things going with your oldest daughter? I ask about her because of the age she is - I'm sure life is interesting for you! UPDATE on [color:"blue"] Deja Vu [/color] - She wrote that her surgery generally went well, although there were a few post-surgical complications (such as fever) that kept her in the hospital longer than expected. She hopes to move back to her house sometime this week. She is still on strong medication which blurs her vision and makes her queasy, so please keep her in your prayers for a full and speedy recovery. [color:"blue"] Me [/color] - Not much new. Hubby called daughter over Christmas to tell her he's getting married to someone he's dated for less than 6 months. Took me totally by surprise, but I'm OK about it. What can ya do? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
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Hi All, relady... Good to hear from you. I don't know about you, but it seems like there is no time for hardly anything anymore. My time is always filled up with something to to... and there is no end in sight. Business must be good,, as it appears you don't have anytime either. Good to hear from you, and I'm like you... I need to post more often, it helps keep me grounded. avondale... Thanks for the update on DejaVu, hopefully she will come through it with out any further complications. Pryaers for her... she has had a tough time here lately. As far as my wedding date... I think we need to make plans for Petvet's wedding date, as I think he will probably beat me to the alter. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> So your exH is getting "M"? Well I hope everyone is doing well. Stay Strong! Wallace
Every man dies... not every man really lives. Braveheart
Never take away somebody's hope, it may be all they have.
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