Have read your recent posts. As usual you come out with claws ready to be bared when needed.
Glad to see you still around.
RE: your OW. She still hounding you?

Your input has always inciteful and helpful.
Please stick around

Texagirl

Me tooooo! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Catnip,

It is nice to see you back, although I think you've been more towards the insightful side than the inciteful. But hey---you do both beautifully!!!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ July 10, 2003, 09:26 AM: Message edited by: K ]</small>

Cat,

I too was excited to see your moniker show up again! I occasionally go back to try to read a lot from when I was "incognito" and realized how much I truly miss your input! I would love to see more posts by you, but also understand if you refrain.

Love and miss ya,

Tigger

Hey, K
You are right, I should have used insightful instead of its synonym. Either way am glad to see the "Cat" back. Also glad to see you and all of the others posting a little more.

TG

Hey Texas,

It works out as a very funny, appropriate word-play. I liked it!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

K

Don't let me lull you into a false sense of security with my (haha) insightfulness.

Just when you are convinced that I have evolved, "someone" will come along who's words will inspire me to be "inciteful".

K, I have a lot of respect for you...I know everyone here feels the same. None of us want to disappoint you or fall out of favor. However, I have just returned after a long absence and have already had to sit on my hands several times within the last twenty four hours! How can you stand to read this stuff and not just verbally bytch slap them for their atrocious bad manners, endless disrespect and obvious lack of charity? Some people just do not belong here and their presence here has changed the boards for the majority and that ain't fair.

I would love to come back but I want to be able to say what I want without reprimands from the fringe patrol who do not belong here anyway.

It's so hard to be good when you are being baited!

Catnip =^^=

I have missed you too, Dear Catnip!!!

Just wanted to say Hi... or should I say "MEOW!"

Stay just the way you are! Claws and all!!

Drop me an email when you have time!
Lots of catching up to do, huh?

The CAT IS BACK. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

and K is responding as well. Now this board is going to change a bit. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Good to see you both back.

JL

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Texasgirl:
<strong>Have read your recent posts. As usual you come out with claws ready to be bared when needed.
Glad to see you still around.
RE: your OW. She still hounding you?
Texagirl</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Texas Girl

Thank you so much for the warm welcome back. However, this isn't a permanent homecoming right now...it's more like a "drive-by" (hahaha) because I am in the midst of a move and also dealing with (drum roll) OW and a court date of July 28. After I sign off from here, I have to overnight an enormous packet of documentation of five years of corespondence to our attorney to prep him for the hearing.

It's so hard for me to go in the Way Back Machine and be forced to once again face the ugliness of that period of time. But, I had to and I have been procrastinating for weeks and now time is running out. There were two huge boxes filled with correspondence and a Findings of Facts, court documents and going through that stuff pulled me right back into 1998. Over the past three days I have been going through all that stuff, reading things that turned my stomach and made me cry reliving the sadness, the horror and overall destruction. Then, I would take a moment to look at where we were right now and marvel at our progress and be grateful for it.

It has been a difficult process because I have dreaded doing this and have put it off as long as possible because I knew how horrible it would be to relive this and knew there would be disturbing things to revisit I had forgotten about. The thing that really gets me is the court's CPA said back in 2000 that our bankrupt business had several thousand dollars in RECEIVABLES when in reality it was PAYABLES, and the block headed Judge ordered CS on this incompetent's say so. Big difference.

Pray for me that this will be resolved fairly and the torment will end. I don't think I can take much more fo this.

How have you been doing? I haven't read your threads yet but will tonight. I am eager to catch up with everyone and see how everyone is doing.

More later

Catnip =^^=

<small>[ July 10, 2003, 02:11 PM: Message edited by: catnip ]</small>

What fun to be welcomed home by all my favorite people...Texas, K, JL!!!, Jenny on another thread, Tigger, Stacia (did you have your baby??? Is it pink or blue?) and BTDT. It's so good to see all of you, too. You make me feel so welcome, I don't want to leave!

If all of you could come over and help me go through these boxes, I will grill shishkabobs (marinated chicken and steak with onions, peppers, zucchini, pototoes) and make my chop salad served with a variety of chilled wines and we can top it off with my infamous caramel fudge cake (some call it the Better than Sex cake, but I never thought it was (haha) more like the "Almost" As Good As...) and wash it down with strong, fragrant coffee, followed by a mandatory brisk walk around the lake and a trip to the confessional. But, in return for this repast, you must organize court documents according to dates and attach the appropriate responses along with certified mail copies for proof that these documents have been sent to the court all along over the past four years. Ugh.

So, who's bringing the appetizer?

Catnip =^^=

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So, who's bringing the appetizer? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What do you want???? I'll bring it!

Missed ya,
twiisted sister...er....twiisty

Catnip,
No haven't had the baby yet... 11 wks to go!
Its a boy... Marcus Allen..
I posted a bit of an update on OB1's thread...

So good to see you... You have been greatly missed... on the board and emails too!!

Catnip,

Best of luck in court. I'll be saying prayers, etc.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How can you stand to read this stuff and not just verbally bytch slap them for their atrocious bad manners, endless disrespect and obvious lack of charity? Some people just do not belong here and their presence here has changed the boards for the majority and that ain't fair.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You know, I try not to slap anyone. I know that a bunch of BS's here have either moved on or gone into hiding because of some of the crap that goes on. But bad manners is never an excuse for more bad manners. The latest quote was frustrating to me, because it had nothing to do with MarriageBuilder support. On the other hand, I think I can name a time or two when YOU got carried away in a similarily feisty vein on the other side of things.

Life is too short and precious to keep score or to worry who just dissed you. I really hope that people can get more focused on the issues here of saving and improving their marriages...

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

True, but I wasn't talking about Marriage Builder Support at the time. And you seem to be taking me to task for expressing my frustration at what I've been reading as bad manners which doesn't make sense to me. Scolding me for making a valid observation is highly restrictive and borders on word cop. I have not entered into the fray on any of those volitile threads, so whatsa problem?

I wasn't keeping score of anyone "dissing" me...where did that come from? I hope I've completely misread you because I am confused.

Coming back here was a bad idea. See ya.

Cat

Catnip,

I'll give you a graft of my "impervious backside"...

I wasn't coming down on you at all. In general, I just ignore the nonsense on this board (cm's little dig, in this case).

And you're completely within your rights to express your frustration at what's gone on here. I thought I validated that (but I'm a guy, so what the heck would I know about empathy---hydraulics, sure!). My reference to you about feistiness was about years past, when betrayed wives would go on an "How fat is your OW? - type post. I sometimes find those equally frustrating (because I don't believe that they help the healing process), but I left you guys alone for that too.

So yeah, I'm thinking you completely misread me. I love you very deeply---I have a great deal of admiration for who you are and how you've dealt with your life since you've been here.

Lets switch the subject. You're in MN right now, correct? Moving locally, continentally, or globally??? I hate moving... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I've missed you catnip!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Ok, Cat get those hairs down. K didn't mean you per se, just a generality.
As you can see many of us have missed your presence and your advice.
I know what you mean when you talk about going back and opening "those doors" that you had closed.
Are you going to be able to lower the CS? How are things going?

don't go away again <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
TG

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by K:
<strong>

WHEW! Don't scare me like that! I just sent cd an emergency e-mail asking her to read this thread in case I did something I was not aware of.

I'll give you a graft of my "impervious backside"...

THAT is so cute!

I just ignore the nonsense on this board (cm's little dig, in this case).

What? Is SHE back? Did she diss me? Was there a little dig I missed? That B____! Hahaha...just kidding! I don't ignore the nonsense on the board which is my failing as an evolved human being. I tend to use the nonsense as my OW in effigy and know it. I'm sorry. I'll work on it.

And you're completely within your rights to express your frustration at what's gone on here.

Oh, thank you. I was so worried I wasn't allowed to express. I am trying to save it for my book and dump it there. I have such a problem with being restricted and forced to eat pud.

I thought I validated that (but I'm a guy, so what the heck would I know about empathy---hydraulics, sure!).

And what a guy....

My reference to you about feistiness was about years past,

And what would any of us be without a measure of feistiness? Milquetoast and doormats...ugh. That's about as unattractive as jock itch.

"How fat is your OW?

I am so glad you asked. About the size of a VW....sorry (hahaha) for taking advantage of taking your post out of context. I just couldn't resist. Thanks for the perfect set up. Hahaha

I sometimes find those equally frustrating (because I don't believe that they help the healing process), but I left you guys alone for that too.

THAT is where we differ. It DOES help. During the first 18 months after discovery, pointing out the OW's vast physical imperfections are an excellent therapeutic way of releasing anger, validating oneself as a superior catch (which almost all husbands come to realize) and certainly helped me in my healing process. And I dare say, helped legions of other Betrayeds deal with their mistaken feelings of inadequacy and put them on the path to recovery. (ref: Zebra Baby's hilarious "moustache" thread) It's all in fun and this should be one place where this is occasionally OK as long as we stick to the reasons why we are here and the principles. We have to be able to laugh at our tormentors or they end up being taken too seriously.

So yeah, I'm thinking you completely misread me.

Oh, good. I am so relieved.

I love you very deeply---I have a great deal of admiration for who you are and how you've dealt with your life since you've been here.

I love you, too and thank you so much to notice my somewhat nebulous evolution...that's why I was so worried I said something wrong the first five minutes I came back. But, it would be completely characteristic of me to do something to spoil things right off the bat, that's why I asked cd to do a reality check because I've been under enormous stress and not myself lately.

Lets switch the subject. You're in MN right now, correct? Moving locally, continentally, or globally???

I am in MN and moving out of an apartment I receive in lieu of wages since I am a property/office manager and back into my house on the lake within the next couple weeks. The delay is due to the refurbishing Bipolar and I have been doing to the house. The changes are amazing and we did it all on a shoestring. We managed to refinance at a lower interest rate and still get enough money out of it to make some improvements that will increase the equity substantially. We re-stoned our three fireplaces, refinished the hardwood floors, put in all new woodwork and doors, finished the basement (sheetrock, carpeting, woodwork and a REAL plaster ceiling, and added the cutest bath and a bedroom with an egress, painted every room and wallpapered the master bedroom and it is all damn darling. I am so excited. The exterior is being re-sided in cedar, with new soffits, facia and gutters in the fall with a loan through my city that we do not have to repay until we sell the house. Bipolar works for a company that is tearing down some office buildings and there are landscaping rocks that we were lucky enough to get for our yard. These rocks are ENORMOUS. I am so excited.

I hate moving...

I hear ya...this is our fifth move since the trouble started but our move is symbolic of us coming "full circle" to where we were and where we want to be. K, you would not believe Bipolar. He has been sober one year on June 24, he is on his meds, he has not uttered one unkind word and instead of everything being me, me, me; his focus is me and the marriage and I am so proud of him and respect him so much for fighting to regain what was lost and doing the tuff stuff instead of wimping out and bailing. He didn't take the easy way out and I have so much admiration for him. He is quite a guy. He is so happy and at peace most of the time, except when we are forced to deal with some of this old stuff. Then the sadness and regret take over for a while. I wish he could get over it. He deserves a break, some peace. Most of all, he deserves justice.

Glad we resolved this misunderstanding...you're a peach for quickly responding so I wouldn't have to spend the rest of the day blue. Thanks...
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

catnip,

Glad we cleared that up... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

The house sounds fantastic---it's really going to be nice to get back into it, huh? We're living on OSB on our downstairs---I ripped up carpeting last fall, and we still haven't got the hardwood floors in. We're going to do Austrialian Cypress---looks like pine, wears like oak.

The 2nd last paragraph is the best news of all. It's terrific to hear that you two are doing so well, and congratulations to the bear for staying sober for a year!

God bless.