Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#827394 04/03/04 07:45 AM
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 611
N
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 611
As per a dear friend here I was advised that some of the people here on the public board may want to hear some good news. I ususally only post on the private now since my story, and particularly the hard times I have faced, has become the example of "karma" to others (not on MB), unfortunately w/o my consent.

Anyway I thought you may want to hear some good that has come from a situation that had a rough start.

Well to those who do remember me we now have a brand new bouncing baby boy!
He arrived on St Patricks Day, his actual due date...and all went very well. He was 8 lbs, 6 oz, and 20 inches long. I began labor at 9 am and he came into the world at 1:12pm.

As some of you may remember there were alot of hurt feelings regarding my being pregnant, in that my H was pretty much done wanting kids and I wanted one more. My H held alot of anger and resentment inside for a long time. We had a therapy session regarding it all that completely went south and the feelings really got the better of both of us. But just before the birth my H changed.

And then our son was born and my H seems to be a new man. And it has been inspiring me to try to find that true forgiveness that will allow me to accept all the hurt that we have bestowed upon each other as all part of a learning experience.

I have begun to work on me, to find that peace within myself, to see his pain for what it is and to help him heal as well. For the first time I am finally feeling as if I want to be able to say "I forgive you..."

It has been so strange. He has been home since the birth and we have had probably the best few weeks we have ever had in the past 4 years. My girlfriend (of 25 years who happened to be there for the delivery, and knows everything and has been an active support for me), said that just after the baby was born my H had tears in his eyes, and I was so happy that he got to hold him for the first 5 minutes of his life.
Since I have been home he has been so helpful, patient and caring. We have been communicating better, and on a deeper level. I think that with all that has happened we have reached an understanding of what it means to love and to have a will that is so strong that even the potentially worst situations can bring good. My H and I are beginning to come full circle, and like I said the peace within that is incredible.

For anyone that I have lost touch with please PM me or e-mail me again and catch up. I have been so busy with everything here. I will be trying to catch up with any old e-mails as soon as Easter is over. I am so sorry for not keeping in touch but preparing for the baby and then trying to settle in has kept me from the computer. I will be trying to catch up with all the new people and situations over the next few weeks!

Hugs to all!

NGU

<small>[ April 03, 2004, 07:18 AM: Message edited by: Not Giving Up ]</small>

#827395 04/03/04 12:49 PM
Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,369
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,369
NGU

Those first few months were so traumatic for you and then when you came here for support, some of us (me most of all) scolded you for getting pregnant against your husband's wishes. I really went off on you about it and my delivery was less than empathetic and I am deeply sorry because it gave the people looking for excuses ammunition against you and used you as an example and held you up to ridicule. I more than regret my part in it.

But the old adage that "living well is the best revenge" has never been more evident or true. While a MM always turns tail and runs like hell from and OW with an OC, for a Wife he will not only turn over a new leaf, but an entire forest. That he loves and welcomes and is overjoyed about your new son is God's blessing and miracle. What an outstanding happy ending. And so inpirational.

This has brightened my day beyond words.

Cat =^^=

#827396 04/03/04 02:26 PM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,121
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,121
NGU,

Congratulations on your new gift from Heaven!!

I just KNEW your H was going to see the light and be remorseful about his initial reaction to this pregnancy. His love and devotion to you and your family is truely inspiring.

A strong marital commitment CAN conquer all!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

#827397 04/05/04 11:18 AM
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,937
K
K Offline
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,937
I can do a big "WOOOHOOOO" over here too!!!!

Congratulations!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

#827398 04/05/04 11:37 AM
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 26
*
Member
Offline
Member
*
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 26
Congradulations!

<small>[ April 05, 2004, 10:59 PM: Message edited by: *allofme* ]</small>

#827399 04/05/04 01:39 PM
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 795
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 795
NGU,

I am glad to hear congratulations are in order on your new arrival. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I am new hear but would like to ask you some questions if you could read my post; you'll understand my background.

My question for you is - is it better when H has no contact with OC only financial responsibility? Is your H happy with that decision? Because I agree with you that is the way things should be especially if you have kids.

JT

#827400 04/07/04 07:10 AM
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 611
N
Member
OP Offline
Member
N
Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 611
I just wanted to thank you all for your well wishes! My son is doing great, eating well and sleeping well.
I am very busy now with all the kids, but have a few days of a break since Easter is coming up. My sister is coming down for a week which is very exciting b/c she has never been here since we have moved here.
JT2 I will read your post and reply hopefully sometime today. My computer is acting up and only connects us to the internet when it feels like it so it may even take a few days. The company has to come and look at it but can't come till NEXT WEEK!!!! AHHHHHH! It will be a hit or miss situation on my end. If I find a few minutes today with naps I will check in, if not I will try tonight. We have been w/o internet for a few days now and I have many e-mails to return.

Allofme: Got your e-mail. Glad to hear you got through! Wow did that take forever!

Catnip...I replied on private. Like I said there, its okay, it would have happened anyway since it was taken from another board. I am just surprised that my story is still used as an example, and they still celebrate the pain I was in back then, when I have never uttered or responded in any ill way toward any OW. But H and I did persevere, and we have overcome!

To all, I will keep you posted on our recovery and the babys progress. Hugs to all!
NGU


Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,116 guests, and 67 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5