This lady knows her stuff!!!!! Huge difference just in her demeanor and prescence than that other stupid lawyer we had!!!!! This woman spoke w/ authority!

She looked @ our current custody agreement and just about laughed, like the other guy. Agreeing that it is just about worthless but that can work in our favor becuase it was nothing permament so we can make changes.

She asked us to tell her what our problems and issues were w/ OW so she can address them legally in the agreement to make solutions. She has tons of experience.

@ the end I even approached her about OW's disturbing emails and getting off track about her personal issues instead of OC. The attorney said that we could put into the agreement (more legally sounding of course) that all conversations/communication are ONLY to be about the minor child------anything else would be considered CONTEMPT!!!!!!!!!!

Right now our parental agreement is not enforceable so that is dangerous for us AND for OW. We knew that. OW could be doing whatever she wants right now BUT so could we.

Also she is going to look into having the custody part of the case be transferred to OUR county, possible since there has not been a permament custody order. CS order will stay in OW county/jurisdiction but if the custody was not permament. (which is 'bout near impossible that it would have been, since our agreement was so shoddily done)

That would be great! Let OW have to drive to us for a change and she can be all nervous and feel out of whack having to go into "unfamiliar territory"..Oh that would be so nice!!!!!!

There is a movie theater and everything right across the street from the courthouse----H and I could go celebrate afterwards, have lunch, see a movie!........oh wait I am getting ahead of myself already!!!!!!! Maybe OW will even get lost or be too late and we would win by default!!!hahahaha That would be nice.

But anyway, the lawyer explained and showed us the PROPER paperwork that would be filled out to avoid ANY personal interpretation and confusion. Any cop would be able to read it and know exactly WHO'S time it is.

We asked her about making it straight 50/50, every other week, to make it even clearer. She was very straight out and up front about what would be realistic and most likely.

She was strictly business and assertive. Even when she said her fees, she said it in a no nonsense, non-apologetic way--------she knows she is worth her $$$$. I think so too.

I hope so. My H and I felt real comfortable w/ and confident in her.

So the next step is getting the $$$ to retain her. I will do whatever I have to, have a yard sale every weekend, H will work his butt off to get this cleared up and get the peace restored to our lives, home and family.

This is gonna be good!!!!!!I can't wait!!!!!

I wish I could see OW face when she gets "served"! HAHAHAHAH. That is going to be soooo great! And when OW reads everything that she can't possibly misinterpret to her own whim! IT will be clear, straightforward and precise! NO more arguing. OW won't be able to PRETEND she didn't agree to something because it will be on there, clear as day, in black and white!!!!!

And before any one or any lurking troll thinks I am enjoying this way too much! You're right. I deserve it. This OW came into my life, uninvited and has made it hell! It's time someone put HER in her place! OC is IN our life but that does not mean I have to put up w/ her idiot mother's antics and allow her to continue to hurt me or my family just because SHE has personal issues and has no back bone to take care of herself!

I do! And I and my H are going to stand up and NOT allow her to call the shots anymore! C is more to us then just "weekend daddy" that pays hefty CS. C to us is asserting ALL my H rights as OC father and that means 50/50 and we will pay what we are required!

OW want C for their OC then they need to realize that this is for REAL! My H is a real father not just some token dad! No child deserves that. OW everywhere should actually be on our side because we are giving OC everything STOW (stereo-typicalOW) are always whining about: a REAL father!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />


On a day like today, it's good to have a friend like you!

More power to ya!

Let me know how it turns out!

Twiisty

There is no money better spent then that on a good, tough mean laywer in these situations. Good for you. A good pit bull attorney will kick that ow back to her hole and allow you to live in peace.

I find your hopefull attitude and positive outlook refreshing!!! Good for you! You are so right, the ow want child support, they whine about contact, but what they really mean by contact is some sorta controll. It does not work that way. The MM and his family can choose what they want and the law will look out for them too!!

I love the contempt charges that she could possibly face. You can rest assured that some day, after this is over she will revert back to her idiot self and start up againg. GET HER FOR CONTEMPT!! Nothing shuts up an ow quicker then a verbal beating in open court, and then her receiving your bill for legal fees!!!!!

The sooner these ow realize that they are in control of nothing, the sooner everyone is better off. They have to accept the no contact if chosen, since it is none of their business. However if the father chooses to have contact with oc, ow has no choice. She can't call the shots. Makes no difference if baby is 1 week or 15 years old. The father has just as much right to that child as the mother. And like it or not, his wife is included in that visitation also. OW has no right to say otherwise.

Aren't you glad you have a good attorney!!!!!

Oh to be a fly on the wall when the ow gets these served to her!!! LMAO.

I think thats GREAT !!
These women want the father to "co-parent" but only on their terms.
The simple fact is these men have just as many rights to these children as OW. That crap about the child being too young to be seperated from it's mother is just an excuse. You could just as easily say the child is too young to be seperated from it's father.
Being a women does not mean being a better parent.

kt,,,,,,,, may i ask which county your attorney has her office in, o.c. or l.a.?

i remember that you said oc lives in o.c. if i am correct? our case went through the o.c. court system and i met with 4 diferent attorneys prior to settling on ours. one of them was a woman whose office was near o.c. airport. was curious if it was the same? also om came to court represented by a high $$ orange county lawyer that was promising him the world. he ended up with a piece of louisiana swamp land. not much for the over 6k it cost him. he was able to cut his cs by about 75 per month. mainly due to the fact that fh wasn't working at the time of the original hearing. and gained nothing on visitation. and it wasn't us chasing him for money. it was him taking us back to court in order to cut his cs and gain visitation time.

PLEASE REMENBER THAT IT WAS ME THAT ASKED FH TO SEEK CS NOT HER.

i know that the specifics of your case are different from ours and that it seems likely you can gain some control now. and i surely don't mean to rain on your parade.

any how, all these attorneys know each other. when ours found out who the om's was he just laughed. he knew him like the back of his hand and knew that he was blowing smoke up om's bu!!. if you would like i can try and ask him if he knows yours and may be able to get you some feedback from the inside so to speak. that way you won't have to rely or depend on that gut feeling. don't know if i can but i could ask.

i know that some of the statements here were not aimed at me personally but the courts are still tilted towards the mothers in most cases and it actually helped us in limiting the om's contact.

This is excellent news, KT...you're on your way to changing this whole mess into a workable solution and bring you peace in your life.

Thanks pops, first, no my comments weren't aimed @ anyone specefic(except mine) hence the STOW clarification.

This attorney said she knew everyone also, she is in LA co. She recognized the name of our previous attorney, (had no comment) but not OW previous attorney.(he could have been from legal aid for all we know, how else could somone on welfare afford it? unless her parents helped her somehow but I don't know)

I understand what you mean about promising the world, that was how our previous lawyer seemed to have played out. We weren't even asking for the world just reasonable stuff.

This lawyer was recommended by H uncle who is a criminal lawyer. He said she was tough, "could hold her own in a court room" and is president of the Bar.

This one said she was familiar w/ the different judges of LA county and their different "slants".

I would tell you the name (on private of course), but I feel pretty confident in her so far and we have nothing to lose @ this point anyway.

Realistically NO JUDGE is going to take away what H already has AND the fact that our agreement is so useless anyway works in our favor because no judge would be very able to decipher it too well anyway and I really believe they would be very willing to have it in a more legal looking and proper order.

She seemed realistic. Like when I asked her about making OW pay for our lawyer fees since OW is the one forcing us to hire another lawyer because of her uncooperativeness. She was like, well she's on welfare, and I was like well, she works too so then she must have even less expenses than us w/ the welfare paying for some! We just laughed.

The school issue....she was realistic saying that even though there is joint custody the judge will consider who has more time, who's taking OC to school ect. We explained that we take OC to school A LOT of the time too, our %40 is not just weekends. She also explained that if we up it to %50 then it would be more probable for a judge to be more considerate of the school issue.

Stuff like that, she was realistic about and gave options and solutions.

REALLY, MY main concern is getting an ENFORCEABLE custody agreement to stop OW wishy-washiness AND including that bit about conversation/communication to be limited to OC and nothing else. These things will bring me peace and a sense of safety and security in my own home.

That's ALL I have ever wanted. I stated that before and OW knew that. The counselor asked ALL 3 of us what we "wanted", in front of each other, in terms of custody and visitation, and that was my answer, "I don't care as long as we agree!"

And H and I both have stated numerous times to OW that this is about OC NOT OW, NOT OW & H relationship. That our concern is w/ OC, NOT the past!

I feel good about this and don't worry pops you can rain on my parade---I have a big umbrella! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> (and even though I may be a "wicked step-mother" I am NOT the wicked witch so I won't melt!) L-O-L <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />


On a day like today, it's good to have a friend like you!

<small>[ April 07, 2004, 07:49 PM: Message edited by: ktbunch ]</small>

KT,

I am so happy for you! I hope this is the first step to putting an end to the game playing STOW has put you guys through! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

kt,,,,,,, well i wish you all the luck in your endevor. i am very interested in how things go for you as it gives me insight as to what om in our case may try. that helps me prepare to counter his attempts.

But pops, you and your wife at least sound like stable people who are not playing games with the oc.


KT has your garden variety "welfare/ow" Unstable, and stupid.

Go get her KT!!! Smack her around with the law a few times and they get it. They have to realize that with child support comes 50% right to the child. Can't have it both ways, and a good attorney will see to it that you are protected.