M&B,

I understand how much any mother wants to have an active father in their child's life....I sincerely do. But when situations like yours occur, where you legally address the MM by filing for child support, then it's impossible to then "turn off" his legal rights. Legal obligations are never a matter of convenience, so now that you no longer need him...you are encumbered with the very rights that you empowered him with in the first place by insisting he "be" a father at least financially. Perhaps he is a vindictive person who sees this as an opportunity to for retribution....sadly I hope not...but I think it's something that any woman who legally addresses child support should think about when deciding to pursue it.

Starfish,

Excuse me, but please do not make assumptions about my situation because my child's father is married.

I did not file with the courts regarding child support, HE did.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Stacia_Lee:
<strong> Kimmy,
Please pass on to MOM that I am praying for her and her family... I sent her an email a while back and never got a reply...

Thanks!
Stacia </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Stacia, I didn't get your email!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Can you email me again?
Did you know my first name is Stasia? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ December 08, 2004, 10:12 AM: Message edited by: momto3boys ]</small>

Mentheboyz,

I know it is not good for me to answer you right now because I have only read the post right after mine so forgive me if I miss a point or two. to answer your question in my opinion I say yes!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

The married man knew that he inevitably would be second (so to speak) one day when you decided to marry. Your core family becomes just as important then as his is. I am not saying cut him off or anything, but now he has to realize that everything will not be as black and white as they may have once been where your son is concerned. He/OC will now have a live in father who in turn must come first as well.

don't get me wrong I was not trying to say it goes only one way it doesn't the door swings both ways.

Now I must read the other posts to see if I have even repeated I'm sure what others have said.

I wish you the best, always.

JT <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Sorry M&B, Didn't mean to offend you. It sounds like your situation is unusual and I shouldn't have assumed it followed the norm. So xMM filed in order to pay CS, but refuses to play an active role in his life or allow your new h to? How confusing. Sorry.

(posted by lynn)EVERYONE GETS HURT.
not always so. when fh had her A we had 6 kids living in the house (19,18,12,10,8,&5). the oldest 2 were most definately hurt and disappointed in their mom. BUT i have to say that the younger 4 showed no signs of being hurt. we were honest with them about the father from the start. i am guessing as i am no head shrink but i feel it was because they were to young to feel the emotional anger the older ones did. all they saw was they were getting a new baby sibling.

tigger4 said it best with each and every situation has to be looked under its own INDIVIDUAL circumstances. there is definately no one size fits all here.

hoping all have their shopping complete so you can just sit back and enjoy the holidays.