tomorrow is my youngest D 3rd birthday. When my W moved home on Wednesday, I thought she would be here for this event, but believe it or not, she left this morning and said that she wouldn't be home tonight. She told Emily (my youngest) that she would see her at her birthday party at McDonald's on Saturday, but that she wouldn't "come home" until Sunday night because she knew I would want to take them to church on Sunday. She told me she wanted me to have my normal weekend with them. WHAT A BUNCH OF B^*&@&IT!!!!! She must think I am so stupid. I don't care how far into this addiction of infidelity a person is, a little girl only gets one 3rd birthday! How can she be so unfeeling and selfish?!<P>Do you want to know what my consolation tonight is? It is the fact that someday both of my girls are going to remembr who was here for them and who wasn't. And someday, God willing, she is going to look back at what she is doing and the damage it has caused her entire family and realize what a hugh mistake she has made. Right now I hope the sex is fantastic for her, 'cause his lovin' is going to have to replace the children's love that I see them losing for her every day!!!! !!<P>You know, I didn't want to have to fight her for the custody of the girls, but they need someone who is going to be here for them, and frankly, my W just isn't. Who knows, she says that she wants residental custody of the girls, but I have trouble believing that with her actions the last couple of days. I really am begining to think that the only reason she came home was because her parents shamed her into it. What a waste. Do you know how hard it is to hear two little girls cry themselve's to sleep asking for thier Mommy? If not be thankful, and if you have kids that you love, go give them a kiss before you go to sleep. There is immence healing power in the kiss of a child for those who charish them.<P>Sorry for the rant.<P>Brent

((((((((Brent)))))))))))<P>I am sorry for you pain.<P>Give your dd an extra bday kiss tomorrow.<P>you may want to do a seach on this board for a post on fathers rights. I will try to find the link for you. If you think that is a possibility you may want to read up on it.<P>I hope you and your dd's have a wonderful day!!<BR>What did you get your dd? We have a son who will be 3 in a few weeks.

Brent...<P>I know where your at...<P>My dd is having her 8yo BD party this Sunday...<BR>my family will be there... W's entire family will be there... <B>W will NOT!</B><P>As far as the custody issue is concerned...<BR>...do start documenting <B>everything</B> you do for the kids...<BR>You may decide to "be the real parent" to them and custody may take on a very high importance. I know that Nancy(MENTAL) could have benefited more if she had started documenting earlier!<P>Cat mentioned a father's rights site...<BR>... I have one under my <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000038.html" TARGET=_blank>Other Useful Sites</A>...<BR>... post... but please take the caution note seriously...<BR>...they really are an anti-marriage site!<BR>But... very concerned with how to gain custody.<P>If you need recommendations on this custody issue... post!<P>I pray for you on this very special day!<P> <P>Jim

Brent,<BR>Sorry you and your daughters have to go through with this. My kids are older, 9&12, and have adjusted pretty well. <P>Keep loving them and sharing with them. What ever you do, don't bad mouth her to the kids. They still love her and may lash out at you. Everything I've read also says any badmouthing makes it that much harder.<P>Hang in there!<P>God Bless,<P>Bob

Brent,<BR>If you will e-mail me w/ your daughter's name & an email address, I would really like to send her a special card. I know nothing will make up for her mother not being there for her, but it won't hurt.<BR><B><I><A HREF="http://mrmom.amaonline.com/special/huggies.htm" TARGET=_blank>HUGS TO YOU!</A></B></I><P>Hugs & Kisses,<BR>TCF<P>PS ~ there is a link at the bottom of the page called "Mr. Mom"... it has tips & stuff.<BR>------------------<BR>If you have a special occasion, or see someone here who could use a card... please e-mail me at card_fairie@hotmail.com. <BR>Hugs & Kisses,<BR>TCF<p>[This message has been edited by The Card Fairie (edited March 11, 2000).]

thanks folks, I was really pissed last night. I really needed to vent a good one. Thank God for this board. Emily, the birthday girl came into my room this morning and climbed into bed with me just to cuddle. It was so special. She is really excited about her party today. She asked me if we could go to McDonald's right now (6:45 am). <P>Cat, Emi is into Blues Clues big time, so I got her some Blues Clues books for her that her 5 year old sister Megan can read to her (Megan is in Kindergarden but she is reading at a second grade level already). unfortunately, she is reading as I type right now so I have to be careful.<P>NSR - there is no "may" about it. These girls mean the world to me and I will fight for custody if it comes to that. I have already talked to a lawyer and have been doing all the "right" things since this crap began a couple of months ago.<P>RWD - I have been really careful about what I say about thier mother. When they say they love their mother or miss her, all I say is I miss her and love her too. The one that kills me is when Emi says "Daddy, mommy just loves you in a different way now". Talk about a dagger through the heart! They ask me all the time why thier mother doesn't love me the same way anymore, and one time I slipped and said because she love someone else. I regret that now. <P>Card Fairie - you can E-mail her at bassibh@yahoo.com. Thanks by the way. <P>Brent

Glad you got it out Brent and can enjoy your day with Emily!<P>Ryguy (our almost 3) is in love with Blue too, I am sure she is going to love them!<P>And wow on Megan reading <P>You know waking up like that is the best thing in the world. LOL I got woken up to a little face in mine saying:<P>"BOWL OF CEREAL MOMMA" <P>but I did talk him in to laying down and snuggling with me for a about 5 minutes.<P>Enjoy your day and I added you and your girls to my prayers! <P>ps..I also sent Em a card, hope you don't mind, I think you can never get enough cards esp on your 3rd bday<BR><P>------------------<BR>Cat<P>catfrommb@yahoo.com

Brent, I sent the card, but I am also posting it here.... just in case it didn't go through.<P>Give Emily a big Birthday HUG from me, and give Megan a big "Big Sis" hug too!<P><A HREF="http://www2.bluemountain.com/cards/box7633m/kec6apdbzytfva.htm" TARGET=_blank>Happy Birthday Emily!</A><P>Hugs & Kisses,<BR>TCF<P>------------------<BR>If you have a special occasion, or see someone here who could use a card... please e-mail me at card_fairie@hotmail.com. <BR>Hugs & Kisses,<BR>TCF<p>[This message has been edited by The Card Fairie (edited March 11, 2000).]

Well, Emi's birthday was a hugh success! She had so much fun with her little friends, it was really special. Her Mom did come to the party, and then came back to the house "for a little while". I know my W was extreamly uncomfortable at the party, there were 13 other adults there that knew exactly what was going on (I have a great support network!) and she didn't have a simpathetic ear in the place.<P>Right now I can't figure out how I feel anymore. I feel kinda blue today, but I don't seem to have any feelings left for my W. I certianly don't have any respect left for her. I guess that is why I'm down this morning. Thank God for my kids, they are a constant reminder of what love is. They keep me going and keep me focused on what is really important in life. <P>I don't know why I'm writing this. I guess I just needed to express something, anything. Sorry if this doesn't make any sense.<P>BB

ps - Cat and The card Fairie - Thank you so much for the cards, Emi loves them. I think we had to watch each of them 3 times. You folks are great!!!!

Brent,<P>My son turned 3 at the beginning of this month and my H was also with the OW. My son got a 5 second phone call from his dad (he was too busy to talk to his daddy and my H couldn't understand why???) No gift either! He hasn't seen the boys in a month. <P>One day they will understand who was there for them. They will know who was there for special events and who comforted them when they were hurting. My H will realize one day that he has basically lost the love an respect of his kids. <P>You take care of you and those 2 girls,<BR>Mitzi

Brent,<BR>It's encouraging to see how strong and supportive you have been with your kids. I know I at times feel weak and unable to be there for my 3 yr old D. It's great to see other dad's dealing so good with all this crud. And yes, our children probably is our number 1 focus and should be put ahead of even our needs during this time. In my situation, my W actually has been a pretty good mother (we have joint parenting agreement), though some recent actions (moral issues for me) has led me to seek a resolution for the sake of my D and myself.<P>BTW, I have not seen your posts much since June 99 (the date of your profile), but I assume that makes you one of the veteran males who's wife left home or is still with OM. What is your separation/divorce status? or even plan A/B status? I'm curious. I am aware of Chris, Heartpain, Rutger, Medic, RWD, and other veterans, but your name is new to me, just interested in your story.

Brent,<P>I am sorry for the pain you are feeling. You sound like a wonderful father and a great person. <P>I wish I could offer you some advice, I know I have seen you reply recently to people but I also don't know your story. Do you have an update you'd like to share? <P>Judging from what you said in this post, it really sounds as if your sweet little girls belong with you. I have 3 girls too . I think you should be extra cautious with them and raise them to understand this as best you can. Counseling will help too. Your girls (and mine) need to know how a woman should act, faithful, devoted and committed to her family and that includes her husband as well. Raise them to be this way so their precious lives will be better when they grow up. <P>My girls are in counseling and their dad has left. He is a good dad, I'll give him that to an extent. Any man who walks out on his wonderful devoted, committed beautiful wife on xmas day can't be all that great right!<P>One thing I learned in counseling with my girls, is that girls whose mom is a bad example have a bad chance at being promiscuous later in life, and being in abusive relationships. I don't know much about your wife, and mean no disrespect, I just want to say if she comes and goes a lot, be careful and raise them right. It sounds like they have a wonderful daddy to do the job of both parents.<P>Its hard, I am doing it with 3. Be strong. Sending hugs and prayers today and hope the birthday girl is doing well.<P>Dana<P>