Hi folks, <P>I've been a way for a while. It's sad to see so many new names posting. What a cancer infidelity is to marriages. <P>I lurk from time to time. I try to keep up on some of you "old timers". I thought I would post an update of my situation. To you new folks, here's a little history: married 18 years, wife meet the OM about Sep 98. I neglected her and took her for granted. Dec 98 we had a long talk and she told me all the hurtful things a betrayer says to their spouse. Feb 99 I found out that there was another man. June 99 I found this forum. July 99 I confronted wife with evidence of her affair. She stopped the affair after confrontation but it restarted in Sep 99. Dec 99 she was ready to leave me for OM. He decided to work on his marriage and told my wife he couldn't take that step. She held on trying to be "just friends". <P>So, here's the latest. After repeated attempts to keep a friendship alive, my wife has finally hit bottom. She gave him a final goodbye in her own way and destroyed all evidence of their relationship (letters, emails, pictures, etc.). I'm viewing that as a wonderful sign. She's picking herself up and getting on with life without FITW (fart in the wind - that's what I call him anyway and that's all he is to me). <P>The last few months have been very hard on her emotionally. We are good friends again which is very nice. We date, we laugh, we cry, and we dream of our future again. We still have a long way to go. She hasn't given her heart back to me fully. But, I think with the OM completely out of the picture our hearts will find each other once more. <P>I love her and I show her that every day. She is starting to do small things that lift my spirits and show me she loves me too. I'm taking it slow and learning patience. I know she still has a lot of grieving to do and the hurt will linger for a time. But, she also knows I'm there for her no matter how long it takes. <P>So, I guess I can finally see that light at the end of the tunnel. After wandering in a dark pit for so long, it's nice to see a little daylight. <P>I want to thank God for giving me strength when I had none left. He walked through this fire with me and changed me into a man I never new was in me. I want to thank my counselor who is a great friend and a former MB poster who walked through this fire before me. He counsels me almost each day and I am forever grateful to him for that. I'm determined to meet him face to face some day. I have to. I also want to thank you folks for being there for me. I'll continue to lurk. As I get stronger, I hope to be able to help pull someone else up out of the pit too. <P>You all are good people. <P>God bless, <P>SHA<P>------------------<BR>There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.

SHA,<P>Glad you were able to come back with some hopeful news. Keep on loving her back to you. <P>God bless you and your wife.

Sounds wonderful!!! Glad to hear your good news.<BR>Kathi

SHA,<P>I was so happy to read your post and it put a real smile on my face for the first time today. Thank you so much for sharing. Keep us posted will you?<P>You go guy! Yeah to you and much prayer to you and Mrs. SHA! <P>Much love,<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! With God on our side we can't loose. What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B>

HURRAY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy to hear some great news around here

Sha, is it too soon to welcome you to recovery? It sounds soooo good.<P>Did you read BBNC's story in the general section? He shared how healing really took place when his w realized the "fantasy" nature of the EMA.<P>My h too. This came long before any feelings of love for me started growing. He saw the truth and was willing to do what he needed to do. I guess the truth does set us free.<P>I pray your wife begins to really see it and not waste too much precious time grieving for the (what did you call him?)

SHA,<P>I am so happy to hear things are going so well for you !<P>You deserve only the best !<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

David,<P>What a wonderful post! How happy I am that you seem to be on the REAL road to recovery now!!!!<P>I have to agree that her actions of destroying the momentos is a true admission by your W that the fantasy is over or at least her admission that she needs to kill it once and for all, if she has not done so already.<P>I continue to pray for your marital recovery and personal happiness each day.<P>This post brought a HUGE smile to my face!!!!<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

SHA,<P>Kudos to you and Mrs SHA. It is refreshing to have someone come to the board and post success stories, and it sounds like you are on your way. It's so great when you see God answer your prayers and working in your life.<P>Take care, <P>Kevin

GREAT TO HEARS SOME GOOD NEWS TODAY!!! =

SHA,<P>I have just one word for you, FINALLY. <P>This is great news. I hope that the recovery begins to accelerate abit now that OM is out of the picture if not out of mind completely.<P>At some point, the guilt will start to really hit her, so hang on. But I expect you know this already. Please keep posting, as we are very interested in your successful outcome.<P>SHA, you have done so well. You should be proud.<P>God Bless You and Your Family,<P>JL

SHA,<P>Glad to hear the good news.<BR>I owndered how you were doing.<P>May God continue to bless you and your marriage.<P>Bob

Hey, SHA, this sounds great!<P>Now go take the wife 'n' kids to see MY DOG SKIP.

!!

SHA (Sir Happy Alot!)<BR>YIPPEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<P>I was wondering where you were, it's good to hear from you, and even better to hear good news!<P>Thoughts & Prayers Always,<BR>Butterfly<P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>

Hi SHA,<P>I've been wondering where you were. Now I know. Back in the land of reality, with your W. Well, at least she seems to be back. You never left!!!<P>That is wonderful news. I'm so happy for you. You were one of the first to post to me, when I first found this forum. For that I will be eternally grateful.<P>I wish only the best, and most happiness for you and your W. Hang on, from what I read and learn about, now the really scary 'stuff' starts. The withdrawal etc. But you already know that, and are there for her. I hope I have your strength, if and when I ever get to that stage. You are a wonderful person, don't ever forget that. The beauty of your situation is that your W is now remembering that too.<P>love and hugs to you<P>Jo

David,<P>I couldn't resist a reply...<P>Congratualtions on the victories so far...<BR>I pray for more victories on your journey to recovery... <P>Jim

SHA!<BR>I was so glad to see my old friend posting once more and with such good news! I knew God would get around to rewarding you with something good, you've worked so hard and we've prayed for you too hard for Him to pass you by! I will keep praying and want to remind you that sometimes the ones that work the hardest are rewarded with the best results! Bless you!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!

It's so nice to know that it is going to take time to heal. I'm a newbie and am really hating life right now, but it is nice to see that you can survive.<BR>Take Care.<BR>

SHA, Great news and I can only add,,hang in there as you have been,,stay strong and be assured,,,the best is yet to come. YOU WILL BE AMAZED!!!!!!