<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by new_beginning:
<strong>
Here's a story of some icky ladies
Who were bu-sy unzipping, licking, things
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!<p>Sheryl - you are NUTS!!!<p>OMG this is funny!!!!!!<p>Between all you guys, I cannot compete.<p>Jo, please forgive me. I can't even try, now.<p>WAT

Resigning from this thread...it's getting way out of hand! [img]images/icons/blush.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

I can`t sleep, two more greetings one for PA OW and one for EA OW.<p>PA Woman<p>You saw and you wanted my H for your own
It did not matter that he was not alone<p>What fun it would be one evening so wild
So what if the wife was bearing his child<p>Wife would not know
So who would it hurt?
So you bent over double and lifted your skirt<p>But you know what sweetie
Any woman of class
Would refuse to be used as a mere piece of a**<p>EA woman<p>We used to be friends
Or so I thought
Until the day you told my H he was hot<p>It tickled his fancy to be admired from afar
And let`s not forget the sex talk in the car<p>How noble how caring you both were that night
No further than this, it`s simply not right<p>To whom pray tell I am I to address my thanks
Even though you held off
You still remain skanks<p>[ January 18, 2002: Message edited by: Daisy37 ]</p>

Does adultery bring out the poetic side of the BS? What talent!!!!!!Wow what a potpourri of thoughts. <p>What a great laugh we all got from these. Wish I could think of one but not able to. I am inspired by you all. and I sooooooo want to send a few of these V-cards to WS.<p>Hold me back!!!
TW

How is this thread...therapy?<p>How is it anything but hurtful? I wonder, for those of you still trying to heal your marriage, what your spouse would think of this thread.<p>Signing off (and counting herself lucky)...

TTF - We all know the spouses on the receiving end of these fantasy valentines, still in the act of being WSs, would not be amused. It takes a stable person to laugh at themselves.<p>I believe the fact that BSs and former WSs can find humor in our ordeals is HIGHLY therapeutic.<p>If you do not feel it, perhaps you are not ready to feel it.

A wise person once said that something ceases to be funny when it's at someone else's expense.<p>It may be therapy (on the giving end)...but it's not funny...AT ALL.

roflmao.... [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] These are great! I've been trying to think of something to add!!! Darnit!!! But these are great... I have to say I can relate to AZ allison's the best... I have to vote for that one!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Soon our divorce will be final my dear
I'm now left with only one lingering fear
You can be your own man now - you don't have to be phony
But just don't be late with my **** alimony!<hr></blockquote><p>I avoided this thread for a bit, because we all have our own roller coaster of emotions. But when we're ready to feel certain emotions... we have to allow ourselves!! It's so comforting to know I'm not the only one that has these ummmm... *evil* thoughts!!! whew!! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>TTF, I understand how you feel. But this place, THANKFULLY!!!! can be a place where we can come and vent our anger, frustrations, sadness, and many other range of emotions. No, we wouldn't want our WS's to be hurt by these things... or else we would truly write these kinds of cards to THEM. It's ok to express anger and pain... in a journal, in a counselor's office, or with good friends that allow you to express your feelings.... and a fun thread keeps it from becoming a pity-party... or worse.<p>Ok, here's my humble contributions... some serious, some not.<p>Roses are red,
Violets are blue
I wanted to spend
My life with you. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]
****<p>When you told me you loved me
A thousand times before
I believed you.
When you told me you'd never leave me
A thousand times before
I believed you.
Then you told me you didn't love me
You only said it once
I didn't want to believe you.
Then you told me you were leaving
Then you walked out the door
I guess I have to believe you.
****<p>You were my sunshine, my only sunshine, you made me happy when skies were gray.
You'll never know dear how much I loved you, but you took my sunshine away.
****<p>ok ok ... on a lighter note [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] :<p>It was a clear and sunny day
A year ago in May
We sat and ate at IHOP
You said those words that made my jaw drop.<p>I found out her name is Mel
So she's the one who rings your bell!!!
I hate to tell you, honey
But she only wants your money!<p>You say she's a size 2?!?!?
Well, goodie-goodie for you!!!
There's not much else to say,
but she'll dump your a$$ one day! [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]

I, too, had been avoiding this thread, but for a slightly different reason. I usually post on P/C, and my H and I are doing very well. I was avoiding it, because due to military reasons, my H and I are seperated this V-day! He will be home in exactly 3 months, missing my B-day and our 13th anniversary, and the baby's 1st birthday. This has been a great read this morning. And for those of you who have been offended, I have been on both sides, BS & WS, but still find these poems fun and amusing. <p>If, and I say IF, any of you truly think about wanting a card like these, you can always go to a card company on line(ie american greetings) and print one up, for therapy purposes [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] I have found myself, that writing my "hateful" feelings down, then burning the letter, has been very helpful.<p>Just my imput.<p>Tigger4jdt

Hey WAT---<p>Here's my best effort:<p>You said you needed to take a trip
How could I know it would be to the mothership.
On the way there you stayed at an Econo Lodge
Ever since that day you've been in a fog podge<p>I hope some day you'll see the strain
That comes from worms in a Moose's brain
Using cell phone calls to lie and to cheat
With a guy who's &#8220;just friends&#8221; isn&#8217;t very discreet<p>Little did I expect and how could I know
You&#8217;d deny and deny until Phoenix had snow
Sad to say for you dear it&#8217;s your biggest defeat
&#8216;cause you gave up the love that could make you complete

ttf, one of the things that makes us human (not to mention keeps us sane) is our ability to find humor in the blackest dark, these bs are not laughing so much as the ws, as they are celebrating that they intend to live no matter what, and humor (ridicule, sarcasm, etc.) are time honored means of communicating stuff. By taking dark things and making fun of them (gallows humor) we fight back our fear, and our dismay over lifes boulders, it is kinda a survival thingy....yeah, one must be careful not to "victimize" someone, usually the innocent, for how they look, what they believe, where they are from, how much money/social standing they have...but this is not that....their are consequences to being a ws (or anyone who violates the norms of a social systme) and one of them is you will be ridiculed, that is how you take away the power of the ws to hurt the bs.<p>I know no one needs me to "analyze" this thread (heaven forbid), and I personally find it hilarious (albeit makes me feel guilty, and kinda crappy too, oh well)...but I am concerned about ttf, she is carrying some kind of boulder on her back she needs to put down, so I have responded in my usual way to a couple of her concerns here and there. ttf, whatever it is that is keeping you on edge, start a thread and spit it out, there is no witchhunt here against ws, or any desire (that I am aware of) to diminish our worth as people (remind you I am a wsh, and not a particularly repentant one either, sort of conditionally repentant I guess, meaning it was wrong, and I will never allow such a thing to happen again, but I don't think my "choice" was unreasonable considering my exact circumstances....anyways). Nor do I think anyone is specially ignoring your posts or comments because of your ws status. But it seems obvious, ws and bs are probably going to see stuff differently fairly often, and there are a lot more of them than us here, so..well...you get the point. The main issue seems to be you have stopped your affair, and now want to be considered the same as if you never had an affair...that ain't real life, and is an unreasonable expectation. A ws deserves, and should expect a hard time, including having to prove and earn trust, just the way it is...ya know? I am as trustworthy as it gets (pat on back), and I don't view my affair as a simple violation of trust (was more complex than that), but it still was a violation of trust...so my w says she can never trust me and acts badly often, I know I am trustworthy (that does not mean I will do what she wants though, two different things), and it even annoys me some that a lifetime of trust can be gone that easily (I find it irrational), but I do understand why, and my role is to just give her (and the bs here when they annoy me unfairly) space, they deserve it.

Very good, Elad. We're not worthy! <p>And SnL, well said. Speaking as a "Former [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] " BS, it is better to LB and vent here than it is to take it out on your WS.<p>Jo

SnL...it's not that I think that things are no different (or should be)...I simply refuse to live out the rest of my life with a noose around my neck. It's that simple.

Dear TTF,<p>When the bad news first hit me I immediately started searching around for help on the web. There are several good websites out there dealing with infidelity. I ran across something which struck a chord with me. <p>It said that at some future point in time than as incredible as it may be to believe that the BS would one day be able to joke and laugh about the cheating. I read that and thought no not me not ever. It hurt me too much. I`m 17 months into this and am finally able to joke about it. I would much rather joke about it than continue crying about it. It will always be in my memory, I might as well do something that gives me a chuckle with the memory instead of pain.

Commit the crime,
Do the time.<p>It's that simple.<p>All choices have consequences. A BS suffers the consequences of someone else's choice. A WS suffers the consequences of their own choice. The point is that EVERYONE suffers when adultery is committed.<p>When a WS paints the scarlet letter on themselves in a society that historically and consistently has condemned that behavior, the consequences cannot be unforeseen, so the consequences were chosen, even the long-range ones, even the life-long ones.<p>If you don't like the noose around your neck, take it off. No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

Conqueror,<p>I wish I could somehow express how much your brain can truly shut down during an affair. You just DON"T SEE or DON'T CARE about the consequences...<p>I had been down for so long...and then, all of a sudden, I was HAPPY! Really happy! I was so desperate to hold onto that feeling that I didn't even think of the consequences.<p>I don't allow anyone to judge me (until they can prove they're God, that is). <p>I guess it just didn't seem healthy to me for BS's to be expressing and harboring these malicious thoughts about their spouses...how can it be helpful to recovery at all to think like this...if they hate their spouses so much then why bother trying to be in the relationship, you know? I think I get it now, though...they say these things here to get these feelings out and avoid hurting their WS's. They say things here that they would never say to their WS's.<p>That's all well and good, I guess...but I would know it if my SO were thinking these things about me...it would come through in his words and actions. I would be devastated if my SO said some of the things that I've read here...because it would mean that he was playing the "poor me" victim role and STILL not realizing that he helped to create this situation. Yes, he was hurt...I was hurt for years before my affair...but how far would we get if both of us refused to let go of our hurt? Not very far at all.

TTF,<p>My mom used to cook things in a pressure cooker on the stove, and the little release thingy would dance on top of the cooker as the excess pressure and steam were released. I think this thread is like that little release thingy (have no idea what the actual NAME of that thing is).<p>No matter where we are in a R we usually have negative feelings as well as positive feelings. I think it's better for us to let the unproductive negative stuff out in ways like this rather than letting it build up and explode all over our spouses. I understand it can sound insensitive, but we're only mirroring the insensitivity some of us experience every single day, but at least we're aiming the reflection here in a safe place rather than in our WS's face.<p>It's sure not meant as any kind of taunt or jab at you and other remorseful former WSs. I personally admire you and all the WSs who've found their way here. However, I still say that it is a WS's own responsibility to weigh the consequences of their actions. Living in our culture into adulthood means we've all known about adultery and its consequences. If, when the pressure's on, we don't notice or think about them, then that is a choice, too.<p>I may not have been a WS, but I have made regretful choices in my life that I am still living the consequences of decades later. The worst of those choices in particular was made because I convinced myself it was actually the RIGHT thing to do, but in hindsight (and even as it was happening, just when it was too late to turn back), I knew in my heart that what I was doing was wrong.<p>So I wear a label, too. When you finally feel forgiven, though, you no longer feel that the label defines you. It is just a part of your experience in this life that hopefully you learned a valuable lesson from and didn't let that label define the rest of your life.<p>I think especially the people here at MB are well aware of our responsibility for the deterioration of our Ms to the point that adultery entered the picture, so I'm sure none of us are coming from the viewpoint that we are completely innocent of the destruction of our Ms.<p>As I told my H, I walked hand-in-hand with him all the way up to the door of adultery. At that point in time, we each were equally perpetrator and victim, but once he stepped through that door without me, everything from that point forward shifted to him being the perpetrator and me being the victim.<p>That's why those of us here are working on our issues that led up to that door, so we recognize our perpetrator-hood as well as our victim-hood. This thread just happens to be about our victim-hood. Many of us have written just as candid posts about our perpetrator-hood.<p>Anyway, I hope that helps ease any discomfort with the subject matter.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by TowardsTheFuture:
<strong>
I wish I could somehow express how much your brain can truly shut down during an affair. You just DON'T SEE or DON'T CARE about the consequences...</strong><hr></blockquote><p>TTF - I really appreciate your feelings stated this way. This is EXACTLY why I joke about my wife being abducted by aliens and having her brain scrambled before they gave her back. <p>Is it funny to you? I can understand why not. <p>It's my way of explaining an unexplainable behavior. The absurdity of the alien abduction theory matches the absurdity of the behavior - perhaps being consistent with your struggle to express your feelings. Understand?<p>I tried hard not to cast my W as a bad or evil person - because I know she's not even though her actions suggest it. The humorous way was the only way I could otherwise describe her.

TTF, (if you're still following this thread) I myself was a little surprized at how this thread tapped into a lot of hostile feelings, when my intent was merely some wry, bittersweet little comments. However, I don't know why I was surprized, since I certainly have plenty of days when I feel totally bitter and resentful.<p>You know, it would be a mistake to assume that we all have some variation on your own story. Of course, as married couples we all share responsibility for the states of our marriages, but some infidelity cases don't turn upon the issue of one badly LB'ed and neglected spouse finally turning to an affair as a last ditch effort to find the love and attention they so desperately need. In my case, my husband had a one night stand with another woman four years ago simply because she offered. At the time he was perfectly happy with me, so he says. Four years later, he continued to travel all the time, and despite my pleas that he spend more of his life at home with his family, he began not to feel like part of the family, he wouldn't tell me how he felt, I felt estranged because he was gone as well, and another woman offered herself to him. He took her, thinking that "he deserved it," and began imagining he was living a porn movie. All the while I held down the fort, chauffered the kids, paid the bills, and read marriage books, trying to figure out why my husband didn't seem to love me much any more. I tried many times to discuss our "problem" with him, to read him passages from books, to work on the problem, but he wouldn't help me. He didn't want to get close to me because he was in an affair.<p>What I'm saying here is that not every WS is like you. I do have bitter, angry days because my husband never even told me he was unhappy before jumping into bed with another woman. I had absolutely no clue that there was a problem before he began the affair, so I don't feel that there was anything I could've done. Even he tells me, "You didn't do anything. It was all my fault."<p>Please try not to take all this personally, TTF. Our anger is not towards you, really.<p>Rose Red

I agree, sometimes you just need to laugh in order to get through the pain. It is funny because we know no matter how much one of us would love to give our WS that type of card, we could never do it. Just because we are hurting does not mean we would intentionally hurt someone else.<p>Here are mine:<p>Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
I wish your OC
Was mine too
(our child, not his and OW's child)<p>I can't stop thinking
Of your time spent with her
I wish there was a doctor
That could find a cure
To take away this hurt and
The pain it has caused
I really wish you could see
All of her flaws
This woman made choices
Just as you did
It is not entirely your fault
She is having your kid
You need to grow up and
Accept what you did
Or else I fear
We will never be rid
Of the pain OW
Has brought to our lives
That's right, I said it
It still hurts like knives
I will love your child
As if it were my own
But if you get back with her
I will turn to stone
Regardless of the choices
We made in the past
Our decisions now
Will determine if we last
I love you H
Will all of my heart
Please now remember
To do your part<p>This Valentine's Day
My gift to you
Is to stand by your side
And belp you get through<p>I can only imagine
How hard it will be
I hope you will do
The same for me<p>
Deleted verses:<p>I will be here for you
Help you walk through the door
As long as you stay
away from that hor<p>HbH