All right. Will be in court on wed. And I get this tidbit of info from a girlfriend back home and her fiancee...

My old home, gorgeous one on a golf course back in TN, the one we moved into when we married was on hold. Was not sure if I would move home and back into house or if it would be sold. But Jethro has done it again. It is in both of our names and last month Jethro tried to GET ME TO SIGN OVER THE HOME TO THE OUTLAWS..Said it was because "he has other lawsuits against him".

Well he's also claimed he's broke. That's another huge lie.

And now my buddy and her fiancee (both of them dear to me)drove by it. She is a realtor and has been checking on it to make sure everything is in good condition in case I want to move back in. And she and he go by yesterday and THERE ARE THREE CARS IN THE DRIVWAY AND FURNITURE IN THE HOUSE. Either one of Jethro's other women is living there or he's renting it out. WITHOUT MY CONSENT OR PERMISSION.

The mortgage on that home monthly is 2300. Much nicer than the home I am in and renting ok? There is also the possibility that the people living there could be HIS SISTER AND BROTHER IN LAW AND THEIR BROOD. She always liked my house but unfortunately couldn't afford it b/c she was always getting pregnant when they had no money. They are another whole story but we can chalk up their lives to being RAISED BY THE OUTLAWS/ENABLERS. How can you expect success if you are poor examples to your kids? It takes alot for kids to overcome that kind of parents but some fortunately do. Jethro and Jethrene did not.

My buddy calls me and is damn mad. I am phoning the neighbors to find out who's living IN MY HOUSE! I feel like mama bear in the three bears. And IF IT IS JETHRENE, I WILL KICK HER COUNTRY STUPID @SS outta my home.

The lawyers were totally dumbfounded at this revelation and this is going to be huge on wednesday. So is Jethro pocketing the 2300 per month? He has to get that much to rent it out. Hey, if Jethrene is the tenant and she's not paying the 2300 I will have her evicted because this ain't no freakin' charity drive.

I am sorry but NO MORE OUTLAWS! No more lies from him. The warrant for his arrest will go out on wednesday if he doesn't pay. And the judge is gonna love this new one.

AM SO MAD I COULD SCREAM...I THINK I WILL...ARGGGGGGGGGGH!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

NotPeachy, I can't believe this! (Well, actually I do because I believe you) Just when you thought he couldn't get any more STOOPIT! I'm flabbergasted! I can imagine how YOU feel. I'm sorry he is doing this to you. NotPeachy, he has not only made your life (and that of your dear son) a living hell, he continues to make it a ROYAL SOAP OPERA. Forget about 'All My Children' or 'General Hospital' - what he does makes those shows pale by comparison.
I hope he DOES go to jail - he more than deserves it!!
Here's a special prayer for you, Peachy.
"Lord, please take care of Peachy and her precious son. They have been thru so much, so much more that they just don't deserve. Hold them under your enfolding Wings and comfort them. Grant them justice and meet their needs: financially, spiritually, and emotionally. Surround them with true friends who care and who will encourage them. Heal their hurts and bind up their wounds. In Jesus Name, Amen."
Harold
May the Lord begin answering this prayer tonight is my hope for you, Peachy.

Peachy,

Unbelievable, unbearable, unpardonable, underhanded, underminded, unminded, unbalanced, so terribly unfair!

You have every right to be good and angry!!!

As crazy is it is, it's all part of Jethro's sick game. He wants you to find this out, he wants you to go ballistic, he wants to keep you in his game and boxing ring. He's keeps raising the ropes higher and higher on the ring to box you in tighter so you will respond to him. Get crazy back with kinds of emotions.

He is using all the emotional and pyschological maniupulations artillery to break you down. Sounds like too, he has read the book the "Art of War" and now declared an emotional war on you, doing his best to dupe you.

Deflect him, avert him, detach, disenage, disconnect, retreat, but by all means keep out of the "emotional quagmire" where he wants you. No way hose.

Step of out of the ring, step out of the game, don't get in the ring with him. He's baiting you, he' knows all your buttons are.

He wants to hurt you deeper, harder and now it's time to try to change your buttons altogether. He knows you need monies, security, home, stablity and he is punishing you severly for breaking his rules. He's outraged that you have taken him to court. Remember, he doesn't see women as human beings but as his objects and prey. He prides himself on being a swinging predator. No doubt it views, You and your son sadly are his object, possesions.

For what it worth, remember that underneath all the puffed up exterior, rage, hormones, machoism he is a terrified, frightened little boy.

As my STBX famous words to me were he was going to crush me. Whoah, and did he mean it with a vengence.

He really needs your help honey to help him get out of his own ring match, his game, and war of trying to teach you THAT HE IS THE BOSS OVER YOU.

His game is out of control, and he knows he himself can't stop it. Although what he really needs is a a good proverbial kick in the behind, but we won't go there.

Stay strong, stay calm, step out of the emotions, step out of the ring of emotional craziness, go around the ring and bring all your emotional hurts here, keep venting all night long if you have too.

We are all here for you and so understand.

Stay armed with the facts mamam,just keep recording them and handing them over. When speaking to him have a calm, soft voice and if you can kind. No emotions. When you see him, look confidently in his eyes, no emotion, no nothing. Project only white and black thinking. Try to keep it brief, calm. Nothing else.

Create a new dance, lighter, faster steps outside the ring.

He is the land of OZ where nothing makes senses, everything shifts all the time, rules shift without out warning.

He has brought you to OZ for long time, through his chaos. He is like a tornado, with his crazymaking. He is so out of control, blames you. Remember you are Dorothy from Kansas (represetative from the real world) are the (normal one, sane one, he is not. ). Hang tight you are almost at the Emerald city.

The Emerald city represents the end of the trip for Dorothy. You are almost at the Emerald city. Dorothies who are the normals ones are also the ones ,who have the ability to get back to Kansas, normalcy. He cannot with outside intervention.

Remember the key is confidence, letting your emotions flow and three clicks on your heels gets you back to Kansas, home sweet home. Watch for those darn flyin monkeys- (ho's).

With out the emotions, GOD work through you, with you, for you.

I am awed at God at He worked with my internal rage today.

I sat down and wrote a big vent letter to my STBX of what I really thought of him and then calmed down. Released all the emotions. I will delete the letter of course. 5 minutes later the phone rings, my son answers,says its his dad on the phone and wants to speak to me. Last person voice on the planet I want to hear.

I answer softly politely he asks his question, if his income statement arrived here. Taxes are due tomorrow. I said no.

There was no reason for him to call me. Just a radom manipulation button push and pull me into back in to his game. I don't want to play. He knew he was to send all the paper work of his income, assests, the condo, mysterious condo's, etc, sent over a month ago to my laywers. He wants me to make my usual emotional big fuss, play tag. Stalling, stalling his guilt. Why I have been so quiet to diffuse him, cool him down.

I listen, and say no then politely hand the phone over to my stunned son. My son couldn't belive my detached reaction. Wow God helped me get through the day.

Actually, I am in such an emotional storm too, and wanted to write a huge honking vent here to day his delays. But your more in need at the moment and thankyou for sharing your heart as you are expressing for me what I am so bottled up about. I am resolved to keep out his ring, out his game. He bores me, makes me ill.

I am praying for him, and the HO'S. Pray for blessing for them all. Now that isn't me at all.

Walk strong babe, keep riding the waves and wind like you are. I am so sorry that you found out this horrible news about your home, it hurts, hurts, hurts, so deeply.

Justice will prevail--Let all keeping praying cause were in this together!

Hi all,

I spoke with Peach tonight and as you may have guessed, all of the latest antics by Jethro have her very very upset and worn out. Still she has her wits about her and while nursing herself back to good health, she is now resting up a bit.

So she has asked me to tell write a short post letting U 'all know that she will try to post the latest saga tomorrow.

Jethro appears to be doing his best at being the biggest challenge she has ever had to encounter. She certainly doesn't need more drama in her life but she seems to be creating 1 non-scene after another in Jethro's eyes. She may tell of his latest attack on her character about an incident that he claims happened with her even though she was on the other side of town at the time.

Ahh.... the fog distorts soo much even in the brain.

She is requesting prayers of support for her and her little one.

Thanks,
L.

<small>[ April 29, 2003, 01:12 AM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

Just some thoughts...

First, you could all by yourself file bankrupcy based on his statements of not having money. It'd be on your record for 7 years... but it would force a lot of disclosure as to what assets there actually are... and even force court-ordered selling of those assets to pay of debtors and whatnot.

Secondly, have you thought initiating a civil lawsuit against him? You must have access to a lawyer somewhere in your family or friends that would go for a 30% stake of the overall settlement or do it probono. Try talking to your current lawyer about it... pay them hourly for the "normal" divorce stuff, but offer all this other stuff up as gravy.

Thirdly, why aren't you living in that house? If it's yours... move back in... force J to keep paying for it and cut your living expenses in half. If he won't pay, it'll foreclose on both of you... which will hurt both of you credit-wise... but c'mon, your credit can be restored with time and you can use that as a weapon against him.

Fourthly, if you're on the house as a joint... why not take up some of home equity loans against the house to cover your expenses? Do whatever you can to force liens against the property that incur joint debt.

Fifthly, you're trying to play fair in a game J is stacking against you. If your lawyer won't play against J, you may need a new lawyer. Just a thought.

Sixthly, have you looked into advocacy programs in your area? Y'know, groups that support people in your situation? There have to be. Check 'em out. Generate some publicity. Get some clout on your side. Right now you're paying for clout... and in a dollar-based clout match, J is going to win.

Lastly, no one can stop you from moving into your own house. Not even J. Kick the others out... and then move in. I'm shocked you aren't living there now. For a woman, the residence and child custody/support are the 2 biggest leverages they have... short of driving things into bankrupcy. Get back in. Don't let your lawyer tell you otherwise. Go over one day with your lawyer and some movers, call the cops, report trespassers/burglars/squatters, and have the police order them out. Go in with your lawyer and wait while they phone J. While waiting, have the movers start moving stuff out onto the lawn.

Get vicious woman. This isn't a polite/nice kind of battle. You're stronger than this.

Thanks friends. Bless your for your prayers and somehow, yes, I have NOT 1)had any contact with Jethro whatsoever 2)been in constant contact with my attorneys 3)NOT phoned Jethrene and her squatting husband.

By God's grace I have kept my cool.

I KNOW IT HAD TO BE BECAUSE YOU GUYS KEPT PRAYING.

When you are at the end of the rope, when you can't emotionally stand is when God carries you...see Lost Husband? I understand that concept. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

God carried me and even sent a few blessings my way, huge ones despite the ugliness revealed from Jethro's family.

I am first going to bring you guys up to date and tell you what really happened and what I informed attny's of. They are really mad and are going after his jugular tomorrow and even are GOING TO BRING BEFORE THE JUDGE THAT I SHOULD BE ABLE TO LIVE WHERE I WANT TO...Better watch out Jethro, Jed, Granny and JEthrene...

Here are my emails to attny's:

I am sorry to send this but he is now working in conjunction with his parents, m/m JEthro to illegally transfer property and committing fraud/alleged fraud against me.

Please refer to the documents sent in february from J. It was a downloaded file regarding how he was pressuring me to transfer my name (joint held property on address and approx. value 260-270k) and my ownership of that property to his parents. J claimed that a judgement was issued against him (was) and that I had to hurry and sign this document to keep from losing the house. Said that we would totally lose the house and the people who won the lawsuit would take it or their attorneys would seize my property. I almost signed as it frightened me and Bo advised me not to. This is the background info regarding his extreme pressuring me (Jethro) to sign these papers. He hounded me about this for several days until I let him know I would not be signing them as it was not legally in my best interest. That home was owned from march of 1996 and has equity. When I filed for divorce the first time in 2001, I attempted over the Christmas holidays to return to that home, my family home to raise my son there and Jethro did not permit me to do so and promised a huge legal war if I did. I only stayed at that time b/c the divorce would have to take place in GA and there were laws regarding where a child could reside during divorce/state line issues.

Two days ago, my friend Andrea who is a realtor, along with her fiancee and another friend of mine drove by my property in (nice golf course subdivision there) to check on the property and make sure it is in good working order. ( Andrea had also informed me that the earlier disputes regarding the homeowner's association and the golf course had been resolved and that the home and the subdivision would be much more marketable now due to that. My home had been previously on the market with another realtor. )

Andrea drove into the cul de sac and saw three cars in my driveway. She pulled in and looked through the large arched window and saw (tacky) furniture in my home. Immediatley it was concluded that someone was occupying my home and paying rent to Jethro. I have never been notified of such business occurring nor WAS MY CONSENT EVER SAUGHT in this transaction. I would have flatly denied as I am unsure of legally and personally what to do with that home.

Andrea phoned my sister immediately as I was working and my sister called asap. Last evening I called directory assistance in TN and on a hunch asked for theaddress and phone number for m/m Jethrene. They are the sister and brother in law of Jethro and the daughter of Jed Clampett. His sister and brother in law had moved to Memphis a few years ago and were living in another much more modest property also leasing in Memphis. I was utterly shocked and reviled when the operator disclosed that the Jethrene Clampett's were occupying my home and publicly listing THEIR address as x, Cordova TN. Never ever would I have given them permission to live in my home. I am not on good terms with them (his sister has made NO attempt to speak to me whatsoever since filing for divorce last Jan. with her brother) and have other concerns as to why I would NOT want them to occupy my home ever.

After discovering the sister in law and bro in law's were occpying my home without my permission whatsoever, I phoned my neighbors who due to being forced to living across the street from this family wish to remain anonymous. They said that the Clampett family had moved into my property APPROXIMATELY TWO MONTHS AGO which would COINCIDE with the time Jethro was placing extreme pressure on me to sign my property over to his parents. Also the neighbors noted that they had removed one tree from my front yard (it died--very nice tree) and had just tossed it into the street and it has remained there for over a month and they were not happy with it as it is an eyesore. Also they complained that the yard was a bit of a mess and not at all becoming to such a nice neighborhood.

A few months back, Jethro alluded to the fact that his brother in law, Bubba Clampett had been going over to the home and cutting the grass. However the neighbors said that until that family moved into my home, the yard always looked poorly.

It is my firm belief that Jethro was working along with Jed and his mom to defraud me. I believe that their intent was to illegally obtain ownership of this home and either transfer it to Bubba and Jethrene Clampett or to give them a place to live. I know that Bubba and Jethrene could NOT AFFORD TO LIVE IN MY HOME NOR PROBABLY BE ABLE TO QUALIFY FOR SUCH A HOME LOAN as per their recent financial history. But they could be "given" the home even if they did not qualify if the Clampett parents were the owners of the property. I also believe that JEthro did this as to prevent me from obtaining any monies or equity in the home.

In the contract that he sent to me and is in your possession, it clearly states that Mr. and Mrs. Jed Clampett would DIVIDE THE MONIES MADE FROM THE SALE OF THE HOME WITH ME AND Jethro. However, if they sold this home at their discretion to their daughter and son in law, they could SELL IT FOR ANY AMOUNT INCLUDING $1. I believe this is tantamount to a coup de tat. With the entire Clampett family working in conjunction with one another to completely defraud me of a home worth between 260,000 and 270,000. This would be just the kind of shady deal I would now expect from such people as the Clampetts.

It is also my conclusion that the elder Clampetts are working in collusion with Jethro to hide monies and assets from me possibly using the Clampett LLC entity named on the contract or in another name. The Clampett LLC is located in LA.

I also was made aware that Jethro TRANSFERRED OWNERSHIP OF THE JOINT MARITAL PROPERTY VALUING APPROXIMATELY $700-800k to M/M Jed Clampett AND THEIR ENTITY LAST MONTH. Mr. and Mrs. clampett "claim" it is their new residence, however I know that legally their residence is recognized as , TN 38052. There is over 100k in equity in that home and it is joing marital property. Jethro and I built that home and he deliberately excluded my name off of the property as when I moved in my new marital home, he was having an extramarital affair with Ms. Monkeyho , of Cordova TN. I lived with my son in the family home on Brixton Place for 9 months. It is marital property under both GA and TN law. ALSO IT SHOULD BE MADE KNOWN THAT Mr. and Mrs. Clampett ARE SALES REPRESENTATIVES WORKING FOR Jethro and sell the investment products with his company and are employees/agents. Basically, Jethro signs their checks and this also confirms their reciprocal situation with regards to income and money exchanges. This part is extremely important as it demonstrates my theory.

This type of behavior with the entire Clampett family is not unusual as they look after themselves. Previously after Bubba and JEthrene dropped out of college and married, the Clampett parents built a home for Bubba and Jethrene and allowed them to move into that home behind their main home. Bubba and Jethrene have been leasing homes and to my knowledge have NEVER purchased their own home despite being married for over a decade.

I have never experienced such deceit as I have experienced in the last three years. It was always my hope that Mr. and Mrs. Jed Clampett would work to be a positive influence in their son's life instead of working in collusion with him to enable his extremely negative and destructive behaviors. However, as recently as the day before Easter it was painfully apparent to me that they were in fact truly enabling his behavior as MR. and Mrs. Clampett brought to their grandson's easter egg hunt at a church and at school, the child of Ms. Family Values, Jethro's new live in mistress.

The intent and motives are clear. The transactions have been made. There is something very sinister and illegal going on between the elder Clampetts and Jethro and also possibly with Bubba and Jethrenealthough we believe that Bubba and his wife Jethrene may feign ignorance of their involvement.

Please immediately address this horrid situation and help me reclaim my assets/investments as I only want to expediently end this divorce and give my son and I a decent future and nest egg to begin upon.

Personally, I believe all the Clampetts belong in jail for their crimes and I wish all monies to be seized from them as I also believe them to be hiding moneterial assets as well as squandering and illegally obtaining my property. The three of them, possibly all five of them should be wearing orange.

Also, I am offered an incredible job opportunity with Pharmaceuticals in Orlando Florida. It would be the most incredible opportunity and I am very interested in it. The base would be between 60 and 70k with low commisisons being mid 20k and upper bonus should I be able to reach it approximately mid 40k per year. It is with a very respectable nuclear medicine pharmaceutical corporation and a very stable company as well.
____________________________________

Oh, last paragraph is the HUGE PRAISE! I AM MEETING WITH THE US SALES DIRECTOR TOMORROW EVENING TO DISCUSS MY FUTURE WITH THAT COMPANY! I ALSO HAVE PHONE INTERVIEW W/ANOTHER PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANY ON FRIDAY!
________________________________________

Only other concern with that job was the custody issue which ironically was discussed today after I sent this email to my attny's.

Turns out, Jethro and his new attorney sent A SETTLEMENT OFFER to my lead attorney. They told me it is all right but it is a starting point and that they think I may be able to settle. However, Jethro is not being good about my having primary custody and living where I want. We won't stand for that as I should be able to live wherever I want...Whether it's back home in TN or in FL or wherever.

And the house issue will be brought before the judge's attention tomorrow. And will be dealt with separately. Attorneys are angrier than hell and are going to fight to get it back. They say we have to take things one trial at a time.

And tomorrow's trial is about his NONCOMPLIANCE OF THE CONTEMPT RULING. IF he's not there, warrant will probably be issued for his arrest if he doesn't pay 100% of the amount agreed upon and the beginning of the month is coming soon too...

So here's my response to attorneys on how we can ensure my residence as anywhere with son living with me...
____________
Jethro's business is in serious question with regard if he will ever be able to sell his product in GA. Presently he is working out of state in SC and in CA and other states attempting to sell the viaticals where they are not made illegal/or issues a cease and desist order.

Jethro is requesting from me something that is not fair or valid as he has to seek work out of state. Also, I am not requesting any distance limitations on Jethro either as I am hoping he will always want to be a part of his son's life and would not deny him that right but what he is asking is not a two way street and has to be resolved immediately.

I am not from GA. My family is from TN near Memphis. I was moved here under false pretenses because Jethro was actively having a long term affair with Ms. Monkeyho. Living here has never been my wish and I have been basically making the best go of it I can here in GA. I dearly miss my family, friends back home and also want the chance to start life over with my son. This is not our fault that this divorce occurred. It is the FAULT OF JETHRO. His adulterous choices and cruel abuse is what caused this divorce.

Jethro presently HAS MY SON OUT OF STATE WITH HIM IN SC ON VISITATION. He is asking something of me THAT HE HIMSELF IS NOT WILLING TO DO. And this is important.

Ultimately, I want to raise my son one day totally independent from Jethro as he has done everything he can to make me miserable and has hurt me so deeply that I could probably not ever convey with words appropriate.

Kindest Regards,

_____________________

And Lyxa, I see your points. They are good ones and will be dealt with and seriously considered after tomorrow trial. Thanks buddy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

What I am doing now? I am praying for clarity in separating the isues and dealing with them. I will take the trial as one step tomorrow and the next legal step to be securing my custody and residence of choice. Thirdly I will be then seeking to settle the issue regarding the Clampett family attempting to defraud me. And fourthly, I am going to get a damn good settlement either by trial or by negotiation.

And the other stuff? Am going to secure job. Great new job. Am actively doing that. Praying for clarity here as my ultimate goal is to be completely financially independent of Jethro. He will pay child support and well. But I want to end any dependence asap and as soon as I am financially able. Trust me, I don't want his dirty money.

There's alot on my plate but God's given me new hope for the future despite the darkness of today.

Thanks.

I will check in later. I have LOTS TO PREPARE TONIGHT

((((((((((((((Peach))))))))))))))

{{{{{Peachy}}}}}

Stay strong for your court date, fall apart later.
May God bless you and your son.

Prayers please!

Court will be 1:30 pm est.

Interview will be 7:30 pm est.

This is a very long day. I am in good spirits. Cleaning house, went to tan, got a nice leather portfolio for my resume and info and spoke w/the marketing director at 9 am today. He is very nice and we get along well. He said "we need to see just where exactly I can fit you with this company. I will explain to you everything you need to know about company, it's history, it's global markets, etc. You may find that you'll love it with company. Mrs. X, the company's recruiter says the highest compliments about you that you're very professional, optimistic, well spoken and very persistent! That's exactly what we need right now with company x!"

Oh, and the guy grew up IN MEMPHIS! So we have alot to talk about. He said that "it's casual and I should just concentrate on getting to know him and about the company and decide WHAT AND WHERE I WANT TO BE..."

This is so huge. Pray. Pray hard. I ultimately know it may be best to be here in GA, but I also have desire to be away from Jethro and all the path of destruction he's created. A human tornado, or EARTHQUAKE...lol...

Hotlanta and Alabama got a 4.9 earthquake at 5 am on monday. It was wild! My dog woke me up whining and next thing I know the whole house is moving. I thought a plane was going to crash into our subdivision or something. WAs that loud and rumbly. According to our paper, seems like all of No. Atlanta thought planes were crashing or helicopters or something.

Just like Job, I said to God as I got outta bed and took the dog and ran downstairs and out the door--why me? Ok...now a plane is going to hit my house? What next. Oh well,...It wasn't a plane but an earthquake.

God's trying to make me lighten up a bit or so it seems. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

After my comment to God, I laughed and I think He knew it to. Sometimes God is funny. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You know that you and that precious boy are in our prayers out here in never never land.

With all the events you have today I simply remind you "YOU GO GURL!!!!!!". Today is a day for you to shine all around. At times it may be rough but that's when you whisper to yourself "For is God is for me then who can be against me." and as you reminded me the other day "Even the good shall be made to suffer for a while". I pray that your time of suffering is coming to an end and that He shall shield you under his mighty wings until the storm passes.

Hugs, thoughts, & prayers

Peachy? Any word from court? What happened?

-AD

Peach,

I talked to Orchid last night and she said that you were still sick, so I hope that you are feeling better.

How did the interview go yesterday?

Indy

Court went fine. JEthro is not behind bars as his new attorney struck an 11th hour deal with us about ten min. before we went before the judge again. Jethro will pay 1/2 of the back owed amount plus the amount owed this mo. by the seventh, or else we will be back in front of the judge on the 7th.

Judge granted a continuance of this issue should Jethro pull another stunt. But this way, JEthro thinks he's won. He hasn't. But it is always sometimes beneficial to let a sociopath think, note I say 'THINK" they are in control. He is easier to deal with.

And the new attorney is HIS PARTY BUDDY! ROTFLMAO!

He is about 25 years old (same age as Ms. Family Values) and is NOT EVEN A DIVORCE ATTORNEY. He's A CRIMINAL DEFENSE ATTORNEY...(see, JEthro already needs him). He had sticky-up hair like Jethro and his suit wasn't pressed; very wrinkly and he had a five o clock shadow. Not very becoming to the judge down yonder in Mayberry.

Turns out the firm that J's attorney works for was the firm who worked on the famous "Gold Club" case about the huge strip club alleged with rackettering, mob stuff and prostitution...

The guy actually kinda checked me out. Looked wierd at me like I was supposed to be according to Jethro, some hideous monster and I wasn't. Wore a cute leopard skirt and shirt with a brown cardigan around the neck hanging...Very cute for court.

He is Jethro's friend and hasn't even read through the whole case file btw. He is defending his friend and doesn't know the world of crap he's in.

However...Jethro seems to be listening to his party buddy...I shall dub him "Cousin Shorty, Esq." as that's another b. hillbillies character and the lawyer is very short.

We let him know, Cousin Shorty, that there have been some extremely shady transactions between Jethro and the Clampetts and that we aren't happy at all and are going to fully investigate it. I won't post about it yet, but we have a good plan.

And the interview went awesome! I spent two hours talking to the us manager and the so. states manager. They ended with "Now, Peachy...We just want you now to take some time out and think about where YOU want to be with us...Do you want Augusta (GA) or Orlando/Tampa?" They said there's a twenty to thirty percent chance Atlanta may open up.

We really hit it off well and they definitely believe I can do the job. Nice perks. However, base is a tiny bit lower than the recruiter said it would be. About 55 to 50 and bonus is about twenty. Can more than double bonus if I exceed my sales levels considerably. And there are good trips to be won, good retirement plans, educational savings plans and matching funds for it, and company car, and expense account, and all travel and misc. Yearly sales trips to be taken (very nice places). Also, they made it clear that they totally understood the position I am in. That they have a rep in Norfolk VA who went off to their training program last year and when she was gone for the week, her H moved her stuff out of the house and the kids' stuff to her parents' house and moved the mistress in the family home and served her with D papers...Geez. Does Jethro have another cousin I haven't met yet? They said they would be as understanding as possible and that I COULD WORK FROM HOME and that is good if son is sick..Can schedule appt's on other times or do work from home when he's under the weather. Also good because I can work around son's schedule. Like games, school events, etc. The us sales director said he was a coach for all his kids teams and it never got in the way of his job. That they worked together nicely.

Very very nice people. In fact, us director graduated from MY College! His mom was even an alumni of the very same sorority as me.

They commented that I looked very nice and was an excellent candidate. They are just wanting me to decide what I want to do and to get with attorneys again.

Augusta may be a good choice for me. About 500k people in metro area. Second largest city in GA. I would have to travel two days a month to Savannah (love that place) also. They said I could probably schedule that when son is on visitation with dad for weekend. Do thursday and friday trip once a month. Plus it will be a nice getaway for me. Skidaway island beach is nearby too. I could be one happy peach.

And the chance for me to have access to two large cities. There's bound to somehow in this great land a decent guy one day. I will be broadening my horizons and this is a good way to do so.

Also, there's the Tampa/Orlando thing. Very beautiful area but 8 hours away, I looked at real estate tonight on computer. Celebration florida is very nice. Gorgeous picket fence community designed by Disney. So what if I am a single mom? I could still buy my picket fence.lol!

Thanks for your prayers sooooo much. The settlement agreement that Jethro proposed is not where I want it. But ti is a starting point. He doesn't want to go to court w/this judge at all.

I bought some cute patio lights at Target and some cute floating candles. Son and I are going to have our little own deck party tonight...We will have sprite slushies and a popsicle..(we are getting over strep and this will make throats feel nice). I also have new very nice boombox/compact stereo and we will listen to Harry Potter while we have our party.

Peace is here for now. But I know that change is rapidly coming. I will be divorced very soon. I may be moving very soon. And I don't want to really uproot our son, but we can have a nice life as long as we are there for each other and our pets are there too.

Oh, I have a phone interview tomorrow with a drug co. for a position here in Atlanta. We'll see how that goes.

I am getting confused. I have other jobs I am also applying for and feel like I am torn. But thus is the plight of the woman forging ahead.

I just want to get independent on my own. Make Jethro eat his words. Eat his words about how "I'd become a leech" and how "I was just a loser" and all that. In two years I went from housewife to making 50k to being prez of my state med tech society to now hopefully advancing even more.

He he he. He can always get more women. He can try to find one better than me. But failure will always be his lot. One day he will wake up and realize he lost his family. At least the way God intended it to be. That his wife is gone. Moved on and ahead. and that her life is fulfilling and work and being the 100% mom is fulfilling too. And I will move on and meet someone some day.

He will have memories. Of what was. And the women, partying, gambling, burns you out really fast. Like burning a match from both ends. But he chose this.

I don't know why I feel peace and happiness but I am not knocking it now. It may be short lived as we are on the verge of this change now. But son and I are happy together. He is soooo glad to be home with me.

Gotta go. Popsicle and sprite slushie time! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

God bless you all. I love my friends here. When son and I get settled, later this summer/early autumn I will throw a MB "Beginnings Bash". I promise that. Plan for either Atlanta, Augusta, or Orlando. All three still sound exciting to me. But being away from Jethro sounds especially nice. Am leaning Augusta/Orlando personally.

Wonderful wonderful! The wheels of justice roll ever so slowly... but they are rolling - and it looks like things are beginning to pick up for you Peachy! How about calling yourself 'SoPeachyInFla' now... heheheee. You go, girl, you just go!!
Thank you for posting this - we are all rejoicing with you tonight. And I hope your son gets all well real fast.
Harold

Peachy, I am truly happy for you!!!

I hope all continues to go well. There will still be rough spots in the road, no doubt, with Jethro to deal with. But you are well on your way.

May your other interviews go so well, you don't know WHICH one to choose <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> !!
I truly believe God watches over those who love and honor Him.

Dear Peachy,

I have been reading on your post for a long time. Nothing to add. Your doing beautifully. Just letting you know that my prayers are with you as you begin to sort it all out.

NGTDT: Thanks. And my x was always saying how "great things were" when I was in plan A and never asking for anything.

Last night was wierd. Bad storms came through beginning about 7. Jethro calls and wants to speak to son. I immediately hand the phone. He asks son a few questions, how are you feeling, feeling better etc. He calls from a number I don't know. Think it's a cell. I will email that # to attorneys as they are wanting more info on Family Values.

After son hands phone back Jethro says "have a nice weekend ok?" I immediately click down. Not a word whatsoever from me. No engagement whatsoever. I am in the most severe of plan B's.

And last night I had a horrible nightmare about my old home. I guess I am still reeling fromt he fact the horrid woman, Jethrene and her oversized brood are living in my home attempting to turn it into the trailer hovel they are used to.

You can take the girl from the trailer but you can't take the trailer outta the girl ok...Same goes w/ghetto...ha ha. Got a funny email about that from a girlfriend back home who ironically was the second person to discover Jethrene squatting in my home.

Sometimes I have to just pretend I have amnesia. Just forget it all.

I am scared though. I may have to move soon. Move with little money (hopefully the d will be over and I will get cash settlement also) and then to qualify for some kind of housing as Jethro totally screwed up my credit from four months of no payment and his non payment of the luxury suv which he helped get repo'd. Thus I shall have should God allow me to qualify, very high interest payments. The fallout from divorcing Jethro is great ok?

And I am a bit daunted now. My phone interview went ok yesterday with other drug co. I answered the questions good but son came in and began screaming to get my attention. I quietly excused myself for about a minute, put phone on mute, sent son down stairs after explaining about the phone call. Went well other than that.

Change is coming really fast. I don't know where I belong. Don't know where son and I belong. We only have family in TN and MS back home. Everything here is new. In a wierd way I dreamed last night that I had the Jethrene clan evicted and I moved back in but the walls were dirty. The house just looked very dirty with crayons on the walls and trash everywhere. I think mentally it means that they living there, their presence has almost tarnished my home.

I wonder now how can I ever speak again to the outlaws after discovering how they attempted along with Jethro to defraud me of a home valued about 270k. How can they ever speak or look at me in the eyes ever again? And even after bring OW's child to the egg hunt two weeks ago.

I don't know how to ever deal with them again. Gut instinct says to move. Move away and start over. Make it hard for those liars to have interaction with us. They've dirtied our lives and dirtied Jethro's mind with their adultery lies and extreme deceit.

Guess more change may be headed my way. But I've survived it before and can again.

So I need ideas. Do I 1)stay here and make the best of life or 2)accept a job, the best offer and move? or 3)fight my way back home.

What to do I don't know. My head is spinning. I am going to sign off now and pray then clean up; clean son; order takeout and get ready to go to the park. It's overcast but nice. We may go see a bug exhibit at callaway gardens today or tomorrow.

Peachy,

I am sorry that it has taken me this long to get back here. I am happy to see that your interview went really well. I think that you should follow the course that best suits you and your son. If that means you need to move to FL or TN then do it. I think that it would be good for the both of you and will give you the space that you want from all of this mess. I will keep you and your son in my prayers.

Indy

I've also wondered about the moving question, and since I visited my hometown last week was asked numerous times if I planned to move back.
I am not the same person I was then, and think I have built a life in my current state, so I plan to remain - and to allow H to maximize his time with the girls.

YOu have had a rough time, but it will be worth it.

There was a movie with Whitney Houston, and other women about relationships and one woman divorced. She even torched H's BMW in her driveway. She won in court, and I think of that movie when you post. She grew stronger away from her H, and I see your victories in court like hers. I wish I could remember the name of the movie.
Take Care and stay strong.
Visualize your life as you want it to be and it will come, even the great job.

I THINK the movie is "How Stella Got Her Groove Back"...never saw it, just the previews of the flaming car....maybe I should rent it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I have re-rented "First Wives Club" though...sorry to say I could identify with Diane Keaton's charactor mostly...hope my situation ends up like hers though!! Cool!!

Hope things are well with you and your son Peach.

Don't mean to butt in..
the movie is "Waiting to Exhale", by the same author as "How Stella Got Her Groove Back", Terry McMillan (I think). They're both great divorce/recovery movies. The scene where Angela Bassett sets fire to the beemer is a classic. She also sells (for $1) the stuff she didn't burn, like golf clubs.

Wish real life could be more like the movies sometimes...we would probably find ourselves in jail for burning cars up.

NotPeachy, you are brave and will come through all of this in victory. Don't rush your decision to move or not, this is not the time to make life altering decisions. I've stayed in the family home for over a year since my divorce, and although I can't afford the thing, it's been good for the kids and I to just wait until we are ready to move. My having to work full-time and meeting a new guy was enough of an adjustment for them after the divorce.
Take care of your little one and yourself, and don't let those lawyers muddle things up so much that they're the only ones with any money at the end of this thing.

allison

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> OK..HE'S DONE MORE STUFF. WE WILL HAVE TO GO BACK TO COURT.

I am madder than hell tonight. And yes, I sure would love to torch the bmmr after tonight.

He started calling my cell this afternoon saying he needed to drop the check off. Can't the jerk use the mail or direct deposit? No. That wouldn't afford him any "front time" and the only way he even sees me is through a door and when I barely open it thus he has to maximize his time somehow. I am in a rigid plan B and have absolutely no contact with the man unless it is about our son.

So tonight the [censored] attempts a call block and tries then to call me. I don't answer call blocks. Like I can't figure out that it's him. first calling on cell trying to figure out when to "drop the check by my house".

No response from me. Thought he'd understand what the mail is for by now.

And then comes the really fun part. After an exhausting day of 10 patients, JEthro shows up at my front door knocking and ringing bell over and over again. I go to door and dog runs out. Dog knocks over flowers on my porch. He's all dressed up and I see that MS. FAMILY VALUES IS DRIVING THE BMW AND IS SITTING IN MY DRIVEWAY. After I have emphatically said "she is not allowed on my property." HE smiles widely and hands me the envelope with the $ in it. IT IS ONLY THREE THOUSAND. Not the whole amount. half of the amount due this month. He owes me 4300 plus the back amount (one third of whole) of 2250.
I say "where's all of it" and he starts in to "I am a leech, money grubbing, etc.
" Then I see the OW driving his car in driveway. I lose it. I say (not screaming but emphatically) I said to leave the mistress at home where she is, sponging off of my assets. She is not allowed here. He says more stuff and says I am crazy.

Well he sure got his way. He wanted an audience so he could orchestrate his little drama. I have not allowed it to happen thus he has to work for it now. So I am frantically emailing attorneys to get their help in now seeing to it that he goes before the judge on wednesday and is thrown in jail.

I am angry and mad. And now I am also asking for restraining orders against both Jethro and Family Values. She even waved at me with her little hand out side of the window as she drove away. I am not going to suffer abuse from either of them anymore. It was a setup. Setup for him to get to see me and also to make me look bad in front of MFV. She's a wh*re. She certainly is. Next he IM's me and says that "she's a model and will be in glamour next month and in maxxim too!". Geez. I reminded him that I was on the cover of one back when I was 24 (same age as MFV) and that it's more important about substance. Because I still look that young but I'm a helluva lot better inside now. And that I'd rather be respected speaking as the keynote kickoff speaker at my state medical convention and honored and respected than thought of as a sex symbol. But there's plenty of time in the near future for me to change my mind about not being a sex symbol...lol!

Anyway, he says in the IM that "THE TEMPORARY ORDER ISN'T ENFORCEABLE ANYWAY" AND THAT "HE IS HAVING SON ON MOTHERS' DAY". So he is trying to keep my son from me on mothers' day.

Ok. Where do I go? I am already in a rigid plan B. I am asking for jail right now and also for restraining orders for peace in my life. I also am asking for a restraining order against MFV on behalf of my son.

Tonight my son was scared. We've been having really bad weather not to mention the earthquake last week. Son says he's scared and comes up behind me (I am sitting on floor) and hugs me from behind. Then he put his hand on my chest area (get this, the chest area) and grabs them. I got really angry and said "whoa son, what are you doing? He stopped immediately. I said "we don't do that or touch that area with girls or mommies or ladies ok? That that is not ok. And then it dawned on me. I asked son this, "did you see anybody do this before to a girl?" He said "I saw daddy and MSV do that." She was wearing her swimsuit and he touched her there."

So my son is seeing his smut now. And I am in the process of sending a very explicit email to my attorneys about this one. He can't lock the damn door can the madman? He is warping my son now.

What do I do about that? I asked son about thatand he said that he saw that when he walked into his daddy's bedroom and that MFV sleeps in there and that they were in the bed.

This is disturbing.

The weather is getting really bad here. I just finished emailing attorneys now about son and the behavior and son telling me what he saw his dad to with MFV.

I personally believe this is tantamount to child abuse. It is evil. Pure evil.

Orchid, Formerly Confused, L Husband, call me if you read this. This is one bad night folks. One of the worst.

Are you still seeing your counselor?

Restraining order sounds like a primo idea. And if mail won't work, a mail slot in the door would allow him to drop it off without you having to see his ugly face. Personally, I checked into direct deposit so I could see less of x but my bank would only allow direct deposit from BUSINESS accounts - not personal ones.

Does son have counselor? 4 is not too young. Trust me. I see them that age in s & d's counselors offices.

({{{{{{{{{{notpeachy}}}}}}}}}

I follow your posts pretty regularly because, even though I'm much older than you, I'm also an RN with a crazy STBXH with an OW the same age as MFV, though definitely not ready for the cover of any magazine other than Dog World...

Anyway, I found out something last week that, a year ago, would've sent me into a spin. About 5 years ago, around the time I was dx'd with breast cancer, when I thought my 50 yr. old STBXH, who I thought was still sober, and his 25 yr. old buddy, were apparently involved in an out-of-control sexual misadventure with my then 15 or 16 yr. old niece and her friends, one of whom was over 18. Niece, who's now 19, told her mom who told me and said she just wants to forget about it.

Two years ago I heard about some acting out behavior, like your son's but different, by OW's then 4 yr. old D(imitating sexual behavior with Barbie and Ken dolls in front of her aunt and saying, "this is what Mommy and WH do."

A few months ago, the apt. mgr. who kicked WH and OW out last May for a variety of bad behavior, told me, because I'm still paying his rent, that she found magazines of "family sex" amidst the trash on the floor of their apartment - and MOW's D is apparently living with them now. I called Child Protective Services and the woman I spoke to sounded patronizing and bored. I did what I could, but it's not my own child.

I just wanted to let you know that other people have had to deal with this sick kind of behavior. My heart goes out to you. I have only just begun the actual divorce negotiations and thank God we have no children together. I only hope that my WH is not as bad as Jethro, though he may be.

You're a bright, strong, obviously attractive woman, a good mother, and a survivor. Remember, this too shall pass.

Dear Peach,

Sorry but I didn't see your update until 12:15am PST. I know it is way too late to call you but I will check back with you tomorrow.

I am sooooo sorry for what has happened. Guess Jethro needs every step spelled out. Like fill out the check with the correct amount, signature and date, put the check in the envelope, lick it, seal it, take the envelope and car keys, drive to your lawyer's office, park the vehicle, get out of the vehicle, walk to the lawyers office, calmly enter the office, deliver the sealed envelope to your lawyer's office, state his name and party this envelope is for, give it to the receptionist or secretary. Have I left anything out? Oh....yea.... turn around walk out the door but not to fast so the door can hit him on the way out.

L.

Peachy,
Sorry your saga continues...I've been keeping up with your story but I had a nosy question. You've mentioned IMs from Jethro several times - why don't you block him from your IM friends list? If he has a true emergency, he knows how to contact you. Seems like you don't need that additional method of harassment.

Anyway, was just thinking of a way to help your sanity. You seem to be doing as well as (and better than) most people in your circumstances.

The IM block is a good idea. It's been suggested before. Forget it though, she won't do it.

I have been usually blocking his IM. And only did not last night as he always after doing some stupid stunt, will blurt out something totally in contrast to his perceived motives..ie, his wishing to comply last week when this guy really thinks that he can lie or say or do anyting and that he won't get caught by courts b/c "it is impossible to enforce that order" as he wrote during IM last night.

I don't give much rope to him anymore, but when I do he hangs himself on it. '

The issues I am having trouble with are: the son thing, his nonpayment issues, his lack of bringing financial records to the negotiation table, and his utter and blatant disrespect for me.

So to distance myself at all costs is important. I control when and if I have contact with him now. Emotionally I am pretty much detached now and am focused on my healing. He can't do much more than he's already done with regard to broken vows, etc. So that's a moot point. But I am going to stand firm for my son's welfare and our financial future so we have a solid footing and a good outlook.

I think the restraining orders are a start. Then today I am again bringing up issues with son regarding the groping to attorneys as I don't believe the situation with Jehtro is good for son to be around. Think there may have to be some legal maneuvers done about this. Son is more important than anything and Jethro's done enough to this family and no more is to be tolerated. And also want either harassment charges or r.o. also placed against MFV. This will eliminate the lack of peace they caused last night.

He is having to go out of his way to torment now as I don't engage him unless it is to allow him some little bit of rope. No contact whatsoever. He had to work hard to get that audience yesterday and I am no longer permitting that to happen. It is time for the r.o. and harsh measures to be placed with regard to his emotionally hurting our child and allowing the child to see such kind of negative behavior in his own father's home.

In a way this is good. Because I am healing. I understand my anger is leading me closer to healing and that is good. Right now, we have to work fast today to ensure we get before judge tomorrow.

Ok. Ok.

I spoke with paralegal for my attorney for almost an hour today after work.

Idea is to have the social worker come over and interview son to get her opinion as her opinion has made an impact in other legal situations regarding child custody issues. She is nice and son has already met her.

We need to establish this negative situation has been placed in front of son. To show that parenting issues relating to his father, shall we say, are NON EXISTANT and damaging.

I am not taking the latest poo lying down. Nope. And I am getting ready to go for a walk with my son. Just stopped raining and it is cloudy but nice.

They spoke with Jethro's new party buddy attorney today and the guy gave "the run around" trying to say this or that to explain Jethro's behavior but it is not in compliance with the past three hearings. He is clearly out of line legally and he'd better get some soap on a rope asap!

The judge will be able to hear the case probably on friday. I also spoke with the paralegal about having a restraining order placed asap and against both Jethro and MFV. The testimony of the social worker is enough to remove children from other homes in some cases. She is well regarded by local courts here.

This is a tough fight here folks. But I am going to stand determined to win this fight for my little guy. He needs me. We are happy and very stable together. He is not exposed to negative behavior like that and let's say, should in the future well after myh divorce that I decide to "leave the convent" and get back into dating and meet Mr. Right one day, I will DAMN WELL KNOW HOW TO LOCK A DOOR OR JUST GET JIGGY WITH IT WHEN MY SON IS NOT AT HOME! My goodness. Does it take rocket science to not let our kids see this kind of behavior? It is horrid. Awful.

I can't even allow myself to think or dwell upon it because it made me violently sick this afternoon at work when I did. I love my son and he is a sweet, innocent and loving four year old. He doesn't need to see any more crap from his dad. It's bad enough having to deal with dad's women. But to see them doing sexually explicit things is far too much.

When do parents stop deciding they want to be parents? This fog stuff is so thick that it is more than clouding Jethro's judgement. It is legally slamming him up against a wall and his choices are forcing me to do what I had hoped it would not come to. I am going to petition for full custody. No weekend warrior stuff for him. IF he can't keep his (his nickname for it years ago) bo bo in his pants, then he'd damn better go get some kind of therapy or pill to help him curb his urges while my son is visiting.

And for MFV? Ok. She's a ho dog too. She is even worse almost than Monkeyho because at least monkeyho didn't propegate and expose her dirty little life to her little money. But MFV is doing just that. And my heart has bled for her little boy. He is not even three years old and must see much more than my son does of his mother's sexual exploits with men other than his daddy. It is so sad. I actually find it quite easy to pray for this child along with mine. He is innocent and did not ask for this. No child deserves to be tossed around. Bouncing between parents and lovers and seeing conflicting things. It is all against God's way of families being and it is damn wrong.

Adultery sucks because it not only breaks apart families, but its damage leaves deep scars that sometimes are not even apparent until children grow up and themselves enter into relationships. I will do everything I can to make sure my son grows up healthy and with a good sense of self and a spiritual foundation. He is a good boy and I will do everything I can for him.

I am worried about the finances too. I got really angry with my attorney and left a very sharp voice mail this morning. She had the paralegal call me (smooth me over) and it did not work. I told her that my gut said to not settle with his lawyer last week that I felt deep down he'd pull another stunt. And that I am not going back to court again to fix this, as the attorney advised me to accept opposing counsel's offer and that his new attorney "had Jethro in much more control" and that he would more than likely comply.

However, my other attorney disagreed with her later in the afternoon saying that the only thing JEthro is scared of is marring his reputation, what there is of it. I said to pull out all the stops and threaten everything to the 100000th degree as he needs the fear of God in that man.

And I have not contacted Jethro and will NOT DO SO. He emailed me today saying that "I shoudl just be grateful (incenuating that MFV is a very grateful woman--who wouldn't be grateful if a guy you weren't legally bound to spent tens of thousands on you and kept you and paid for you?). Well...maybe a woman who has her self esteem..Like me. And then he went on and said that "he didn't have the money" and that "I could see my son for a few hours on mothers' day if I drive over to Jethro's house and come and get him." I am not at all to go to Jethro's house as per the attorneys. And plus I want a restraining order.

I know that jethro is lost and when he writes me anything that it is pure fog talk. HOrribly thick and stinky fog talk. And I just disregard it like it was the ramblings of a madman. And it kinda is.

He warps and twists the truth around to always suit and justify his escapades. And they just keep getting wilder and wilder.

I am mentally and physically exhausted tonight. I am going to pray again really hard and go back to re reading a devotional book I got last year to help me through this tough time.

We're going for our rainy day walk right now so bye. Check in later.

Please pray for us. We need serious intercession from the Almighty right now.

Hi-
I've read some of your posts, and I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I have a few ideas for you to try that just might make it easier. The first thing I would do if I were you is to promise yourself you are not going to engage anymore. Not about his mistress, not about your marriage, not about anything. He LOVES it when you get upset. He loves it when you order his playmate off of your property. Just plain don't do it. You don't need to discuss anything with him. You don't need to give him rope to hang himself with. I can assure that you as soon as I realized I was giving my ex the power to continue hurting me, I realized I could stop that cycle. And you can too. You aren't doing Plan B when you show you care and that he can upset you. You don't need to give him foggy talk back, you don't need to convince him of anything. You shouldn't be surprised that he doesn't respect you, because that is just who he is. Nothing you can do will change that. I have 3 children with my ex H, and I can tell you that once I figured out that I was giving him the power to continue hurting me, it all became clear. Since that time (16 months ago) we haven't had ONE conversation that was about anything other than the kids. Was he continuing to make hideous choices? Yep! Did he have my children around OW to spend the night one day after he told them he was leaving? Yep. And guess what - there was nothing I could do. Did he try to goad me into arguments so he could make himself feel better about his terrible choices? Yep. And once he knew he couldn't do that anymore, he stopped trying. You are allowing (even empowering) his control over your life and your moods. I know you have a lot going on with court and money. You can't control those things. You need to concentrate on what you can control, and that is how you are going to allow your almost ex to affect your life. All you can do is turn it over to God first and your lawyers second. That is what God does for us, and that is what you are paying your lawyers to do. Shake yourself off, have fun with your friends and your son, and just plain don't engage. I know from experience, it makes all the difference in the world. Good luck - you are in my prayers.

You're right. I am not engaging him at all. And he does like to try to hurt me any chance he can.

I'm getting out of his way. Like the simile I made about him being like the tornadoes ripping through the state of GA this week, he is hell bent on destruction. And I am just going to get my son and I out of the way.

What I am focusing on is son and I period. Our healing. OUr good life together. And making sure he is not going to be made to be exposed to sexually explicit behavior. That I will not accept. Will have appointment with the social worker tomorrow.

My son and I had a good walk in the rain. He is so cute. We are happy together and thats what counts. Once we get the finances cleared up, life will be pretty good.

I am praying that I get the job 2 hours away. It would be best for our son. Best financially for me.

Thanks for praying for us. I am hanging tough. And I do clearly see what has happened and what's been done to us. No blinders on here. And I am no longer mourning for this marriage. It is dead. Been dead for a while. More like a rotting limb that needs amputation stat.

I am ready to move on.

Son just woke up again. Thunder is rolling in again.

Sometimes when it thunders I have a trigger. Anybody heard "Thunder Rolls" by Garth Brooks (adulterer himself)...About a man and how his wife discovers he's having an affair.

Going to get some well deserved zzz. Love you guys !

Hi NotPeachy! You and your son have been in my prayers a lot of late.
Yes, I have heard the song by G. Brooks 'The Thunder Rolls' it's an excellent one.
Here's one by Culture Beat - Mr. Vain
I think it describes ole boy Jethro B.
Peace, Harold

Mr. Vain
Culture Beat

CHORUS:
Call him Mr.Raider call him Mr.Wrong
Call him Mr.Vain
Call him Mr.Raider call him Mr.wrong
Call him Mr.vain
He'd say: i know what i want
And i want it now
I want you cause i'm Mr.Vain
I know what i want and i want it now
I want you cause i'm Mr.Vain

RAP:
Call me Mr.Raider call me Mr.Wrong
Call me insane call me Mr. Vain
Call me what ya like
As long as you call me time and again
Fell the prensence of the aura
Of the man none to compare
Loveless dying
For a just to touch a hand
Or a moment to share
Can't deny the urge that makes them
Want to lose themselves to the debonair one
Hold me back the simple fact is
That i'm all that and i'm always near
One sexy can't perplex me now
You know who's raw
As if you didn't know before
I know what I want and I want it now
I want you then I want a little more

CHORUS:
Call him Mr.Raider call him Mr.Wrong
Call him Mr.Vain
Call him Mr.Raider call him Mr.wrong
Call him Mr.vain
He'd say: i know what i want
And i want it now
I want you cause i'm Mr.Vain
I know what i want and i want it now
I want you cause i'm Mr.Vain

RAP:
Girls are all over the world
They hope and pray and die for men
Like me cause i'm the one
Begotten son that breaks the mold
Get a look at male epitome
Style has never seen
That makes you want to grab and hold
And squeeze real tight
Whose gonna be the one to save
You from yourself
When you wanna take a bite
Please oh baby please
You beg you want to stay
You got to get some caught
Up in the charm that i laid on thick
And now there's nowhere
To run on the hook of my line
Yeah i keep many females
Longing for a chance to win my heart
With sex and plenty

Peachy, can't your attorney request an order for payment to the court or to your attorney so that he can't get away with half measures and harrassment again? He's going to have a tougher time explaining a partial payment to a judge or to your representative than to you. He gets a cheap thrill out of screwing you all over again financially.

peachy,
You sound great. I know that you are probably still reeling inside but you are holding it together and well!
This above all else is driving him CRAZY! Or at least crazier than he normally is.
The stronger you are the more power he looses. And you know what, he never really had the power anyway. It was all inside of you and now it's just rolling out!

To all:

I spoke with Peach this afternoon (PST). All is not well. Current events prohibit her from posting at this time. I will post it on a separate thread in case he is watching.

Please be very careful about what you post here. While there is not current threat, change of events can happen rapidly.

Lots of fog going on over there and quite heated.

<small>[ May 07, 2003, 07:20 PM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

I am ok. Was notified just minutes before I left from work there was a home invasion at my residence.

Police said they already were at home and were investigating and for me to come there asap and pick son up from school after that. We didn't want to scare him.

My next door neighbor is a new stay at home mom and caught Jethro breaking in through window to my family room off of back deck. She called 911. The police arrived within five minutes. He had maybe 10 minutes in my home.

He attempted to log onto my computer however it was already running in bkgd on work computer and he couldn't gain access. I have changed all passes/everything again.

He either was planting a device of some kind (voice activated tape or something), was retrieving it, or was trying to simply gain access to my computer files related to the divorce and my and attorney's mode to attack with.

The police arrived and attempted to sneak around the back of the house and JEthro heard them and snuck out the front but they saw him and chased him down the street. They were armed. One policeman had parked his patrol car in front of Jethro's bmw and video'd the whole thing. They caught him running and jumping into his vehicle. I had to ID him from the tape. It was sickening. I am utterly sickened. It was certainly him. No doubt whatsoever. They know the whole story.

At the least, he will be charged with running from police. He got away only moments before them and sped away very fast and the officer was unable to stop him. Moments after Jethro left, the other officers arrived on the scene. The one officer was only seconds behind him.

My neighbors came over and fixed it where he cannot gain access through windows again.

They got a partial handprint from the windows and dusted the house.

We are safe. We are ok. Are getting emergency restraining order and order of protection for son and I.

He's lost it. He is dangerous. But we are going to be safe. I have lots to do tonight and am going to call police to let them know he just tried to IM me.

The [censored] told his attorney earlier today (as told from my attorneys who are LIVID about this matter) that he was NOT EVEN IN GA TODAY. He is a confirmed sociopathic liar.

I told the police his work, cell, home and even numbers and address of where Ms. Family Values resides in case he's hiding out with her to evade officials.

He's going down. I will see to it. Only possible thing to deal with is the fact we are not yet legally divorced, although we've been apart over a year and a half.

Some legal issues when spouses are still legally married but we have standing orders in place since last year and I filed in Jan. of 02 for second time for divorce.

I want you to PRAY FOR OUR SAFETY AND PROTECTION TONIGHT PLEASE! I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO SIGN ON AS i HAVE TO HAVE ACCESS TO MY PHONES. Also, I will talk to some buddies from here and they can post for us and will let you guys know we are safe.

Please, please pray for us. And also pray that justice is served. That Jethro indeed goes to jail as he is a criminal now.

I would have never believed this to happen. Never. But he is losing at this and will stop at nothing to win.

Just remember when dealing with adulterers and those lost in fog that they are totally out of control sometimes. They have lost touch with their souls and their consciences. Remember that.

And please keep us in your prayers.

I can't deny that I am indeed frightened. But I will do everything to keep me and my boy safe.

In God's hands ..... my prayer for you!

Poor NotPeachy. You DEFINITELY are in my prayers tonight! I'm sorry this has happened to you. Best place for ole boy JB is in JAIL and I hope he goes there and they throw away the key.
Lord bless you and your precious son also.
Harold

((((((Peachy and son)))))) This is extremely bizarre behavior and leans towards pyschopathic. Never in my wildest dreams have I ever considered my FormerWH (or so I'm led to believe) as being dangerous. It boggles my mind to contemplate the crazy situation that you are enduring with your STBX. Obviously, he is NOT in his "right mind." Either this man has a serious drug problem or he has a severe mental disorder. Either way.....gain whatever protection you can through the legal channels. He seems to have cooked his goose with this incident of absurd behavior.

I continue to pray for you, your son and your family during your most dismal hours. Please know that you have many faceless folks here at MB who care about you and your situation. You are not alone in this nightmare. Know that God will prevail.

I could not believe this when I read it. How bizarre.

That is the strangest thing. I think you should see if he can be charged with illegal entry or breaking and entering. Go for criminal charges. Along with the other stuff.

This man has gone around the bend. Maybe you should take the job farthest away from him.

And as soon as you can, put an alarm system in your home and change your e-mail server. Only email j over something like Yahoo. don't intentionally give him the main email address.

(You are one of the MBers I pray for by name on a daily basis.)

notpeachyinga,

Keep your cool ... ok?. You should use this event to get permanent RO !. You should get different lawyer than Dv lawyer ... get a criminal lawyer !. Breaking even temporary RO will land you in Jail !. I do beleive he has no claim or right to go into your house since you bought and pay from your own acount. This is a breaking and entering and bulgerlized your home. Talk to DA first thing in the morning and if you could afford it, get a criminal lawyer.

I would sign up with security company ... they will wired he whole house. I am worry about your safety.

Orchid has my new cell# ... call me if you need someone to talk to.

-rh-

(((PEACHY)))& Son
God bless and put angels around you both for
protection.

I would like you to ask your lawyer to ask the
judge to order Jethro to have a proffessional
Psycological evaluation from a psyciatrist.
to use in court against him..it would really
help your case..

he did illegal entry to your home. thank God you
were not home with son, for him to confront.
I know the fear of living in house when someone
enters..husband would have son enter when they
knew I was gone to get things. I would notice something moved and thought something looked funny
but thought I was going crazy..
there is a old movie out called "Gas Lighting"
someone
suggested I rent I never did. it was someone who
tried to drive his wife crazy.If you can find it
get it watch it.

I sat here in the dark a few times to scared to do a thing knowing he might be coming to harm me.
finally I had enough after a neighbor came over and pounded on the door for 10 minutes this was at nite and was dark, I had no idea who was there
was scared so bad I almost messed myself.
it is phsycological crap they do to us..

anyway the kid left then the cops came..I DID NOT know it was the police I DID not open the door they were shinning this bright flashlight they use on the roof through the windows I could not tell who was there but there were more then one.
finally the phone rang and I noticed the id had
hubby phone # on it, so I picked it up because
I knew he was NOT suppose to call me..so I felt
why is this happening. he tells me open the door.
I told him no way then he said it is the police
out there let them in..told him no way..
he said they called him and told him to call me..
and tell me to answer the door or they will break it in to make sure I WAS OK..grrrr..someone reported that I was suicidal awhile back..so I finally opened the door. talked to them and they went and also told hubby not to call me again..
or contact me.

why this kid was so concerned about me is weird
I really think my son paid him to scare me.
so much has happened it makes you paranoid as you can see..
but know when it is over, you will be ok.. the
jumpiness etc does go away..
hugs and give your son from auntie..here..
he has lots of aunt and uncles here on mb praying
for angels to surround him and keep him safe as can be..and his mom too..
take care and may God bless you with HIS PEACE as only He can give..
I pray for Jethro that God will convict him of what he is doing and that God will give him a newheart..and he will REPENT of his evil ways.
not means you need to take him back. but that he will seek your forgiveness only after he repents.
only there are some people we do know that they think they don't have to account to anyone, everything is fine in their eyes, and that the law is not made for them but for others.
one other thing this man has no moral concience
so he might be so far gone, he won't turn to the Lord. and that means he is turned over to a reprobate mind to do those things God says not to do..
and yes for someone who always says out there..
"IS THIS A COME TO JESUS MOMENT?!!" YOU BETCHA.

It would be great if alot of people turned to God
and things would be so much simpler.
ok preaching is over. I will just post this without a preview hope it makes sense. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

The crazy making stops soon!
STAY SAFE...PEACHY WE CARE! PRAYING!!
pray with your son take his hands and hold him
pray with him..

Spoke w/police before bed. We are ok. I slept with a knife under my matress and my old baton (used to twirl in college and can wield that thing with precision I can tell you) under my other arm. Neighbors are and were alerted and they also called different times as well.

It's funny but my dog hasn't left my side. He's been really good although I think he'd have to see Jethro attack me before he'd attack him.

Jethro did try to IM last night when I logged on to MB. I did not respond.

We are definitely doing both tpo and ro. I am getting it for me and my son. I am hoping that everything goes ok and it can be quickly enacted b/c today is the day for visitation and I don't want my son around that man.

I also asked police yesterday when they catch him (they have to make the charges stick) to do a drug test on him as his behavior's bizarre and outrageous and not consistent with anybody sane. Also asked for eval mentally too. Thanks Cindy. I just already thought of it. I knew if it had ever come to this, I would do that.

Just pray today he doesn't pick up my son before the tpo and ro is signed. I can't take off of work b/c of nature of my job and all the court stuff has made it almost impossible to take personal days and I am also calling school to make sure that they don't release son to him. I am going to tell them to call the police if he does. But legally until it is in their hands, the ro and tpo, the standing order about visitation and custody and so on is in effect and in force.

Think we'd be able to get that thing signed asap on emergency basis by judge.

Please keep praying. And thank you for praying for us.

I can't keep this up much longer. It's too much and I've endured too much.

I am constantly exhausted and mentally exhausted. He has put me through more than I could ever imagine.

Nothing or nobody is worth this. Except for my son. And my son is going to be raised properly and this is stopping. The sin stops with the father in this family.

Let's see how the enablers, the OUTLAWS, and Ms. Family Values and the whole group of them like to see how he's lied to them and that it wasn't me who had the problem all along.

He his his sins and his cruelty too long. He thinks he has power over me and can take or do anything to me and that nobody will do a thing to the man. That he's above the law.

Well the [censored] is not. He is not. I will prove it to him. He's messed with the wrong woman. And by forcibly breaking and entering into my home, he will find out. He has given over to pure evil right now and I am not going to stand for it one more minute. Maybe his best chance of finding God will be when they slam the metal bars shut in front of him.

If he did that yesterday, he'd do anything to get his way. And this is about money. Not about anything else but pride and money. He doesn't want anybody to know of his sin against me and his family. He wants to appear as a shining almost perfect guy. And the facade is cracking. He's pretended so long to be this "good dad" and a poor man who had a wife with problems and had to get a divorce. A man who was forced into having affairs because the poor guy wasn't happy anymore.

Oh what a poor baby!

But nobody will believe it anymore.

Sad part is that there aren't enough laws to protect spouses in danger. It is a sad country we live in when a live-in mistress ior girlfriend could get more police protection or justice WITHOUT BEING MARRIED. When you sign the marriage license, it is tantamount in the eyes of the law that anything your spouse does to you is a "domestic dispute" and not assault, burglary, or the like.

If MFV had called and the same situation had happened, he'd be in jail this minute and rotting there awaiting felony charges. Why? Because HE IS NOT MARRIED TO HER. Thus this is some kind of dispute between perceived partners. Not so. I told them he pays rent here but he doesn't and has never lived under this roof. That I've lived here since jan. of 02 and that he's never lived here. That we had legal standing order since june of 02. That I have been waiting only for this guy to bring to the negotiations all the financial documents and that his deceit is why this has drug on.

But how is the law going to deal with it? I am legally married and they kept saying that over and over. I said "Do they have to take me to the coroner first before anything happens here?" My God. Isn't there enough dead women in this country to prove it? Isn't there enough of that ******* Scott Peterson in the news and the crime that took another innocent life because of sin and adultery?

I swear, there needs to be some advice for victims of adultery regarding the potential for violence. Please ask the Harleys to look into this. I am living proof that sometimes WS's can become dangerous. They lie and lie and lie and one sin covers up another sin and so on. They can definitely sometimes become dangerous.

Keep praying for our safety, FOR JUSTICE, for my son to remain with me (I am primary but want his custody taken away permanently now unti he is either served his time or properly getting treatment) and for peace in our little home. Thanks to all who prayed for us.

You're in my thoughts and prayers, both of you.

I think God is holding you in the palm of His Hand.

dear peachy-all my prayers to you and son. do all you can for your safety. we are all praying for you.

and by the way-i think jethro is a fool for poking a southern woman with a stick <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> !!
you get him girl!

Peachy,

I am most concerned of how your lawyers/courts are handling your situation and wish to share a situation that might encourage you.

One of my friends shared with me the other day about a good friend of theirs who is a young mom and going through the same battling. I believe I had mentioned her situation before. Update on her situation.

Her STBX is still very hardened, acting out of control like Jethro, drugs, monies, violence, business frauds, inlaws enabling, of course doing similar what our x's are doing however her daughter is about the same age is your son.

What is different about her situation compared to your situation is the treatment of protection her lawyers the courts thus far have secures/implemented measures to protect her young daughter and her. Property issues, support are still at hand.

Meaning her STBX is still not permitted to have free wheeling reigns over their daughter. He is still under restricted, supervised custody access and can not be alone with their daughter. He is only permitted to have vistation access with the presense of a social worker in attendance.

STBX is not allowed to come near her home to pick up their daughter. Because of his established propensity of violence towards her.

Second, he must go to the YWCA, as destination place where she drops her daughter off in the care of the social worker. Meaning that he, his parents, women, and other negative influences cannot harm her.

STBX arrives and does positive things with his daughter under the watch ful eye supervised care of the social worker for the day. When the visit is over he leaves and she arrives at later time to pick up her daughter from the social worker. The two of them simply pass by like ships in the nights.

Their daughter is safe, protected, and shielded from him,as far as the laws are concerend-she on the other hand does not have to deal with him other than through legal channels.

I don't understand why he has not been ordered to have psychiactric evualation, his acting out alludes to behaviors/mannerisms of bi-polar 2 and self medicates with hard drugs, alchol why is he not be tested, treated, and allowed to carry on.

I don't understand why your attorneys are allowing him so much destructive leverage and tolerating the emotional unbearable strain on you/son.

The attornies, courts have more than sufficent evidence that he does not have your son's best interests at heart, with his lack of support, wild spending sprees, women.

Jethro is severly mentally, spiritually impaired and obviously has organic based underlying problems. He needs help-you have done your part in a loving way by holding him accountable, to remove you and your beloved son from harm. He is not normal, healthy, or capable of being a decent dad to your son.

I am most concerned here about you,to waste any more of your engergies,time, monies in his entanglements to you and you son.

Huggs...

There's not enough justice for some women yet.

Attorneys seem to think that I would get a faster tpo if I went to a women's shelter. I called the nearby shelter and the lady said that the judge they'd bring me to would first ask 1)am I getting a divorce and then 2)do I have an attorney yet? The women's advocate said that he would then tell you to bring your attorneys before him

So tomorrow the r.o. goes out and papers are started. The women's advocate said she only works with women who "can't afford an attorney". I said "what about a woman who can't afford the attorneys she has?" "waht about someone who needs help now?

The investigator has gotten his information regarding his car and some discrepancies about his auto and other things. They have enough to prosecute and are awaiting the word from the DA to find out when to proceed. Problem is that WE ARE STILL LEGALLY MARRIED and some judges see that as not a CRIMINAL dispute but a DOMESTIC/CIVIL one.

So I am stuck in a holding pattern while the papers get filed, signed faxed, etc. While the DA makes up his mind. While my son WAS ALLOWED LEGALLY TO GO TO HIS FATHER'S THIS WEEKEND FOR VISITATION.

Right as he picked up our son, Jethro called me and because he had son, I answered the phone. He said "you can have son from 7 pm on saturday night until 4 pm on mother's day". How nice. He also sent me ...get this...via email a letter saying how hw was happy to give son to me for a FEW HOURS for mother's day and sent me 2 faith based poems. Talking about God and faith and etc...that his mother forwarded to him.

He has lost his mind totally and is out of it. He is such a liar that he cannot tell the truth if he had to. When I had him on the phone I said, "you be careful around my boy and do not come over on my property anymore." He said "well you HAVE TO COME TO MY HOUSE TO GET YOUR SON FOR MOTHER'S DAY". I said that that would be taken care of.

He then told me that "he wished me happiness just like the happiness he has with Ms. Family Values and is sorry that I haven't found it yet and when I do, he will shake the guy's hand. And that maybe my real problem was that I HAVEN'T GOTTEN A PIECE OF A$$ YET."

So on one hand today he emails thought about faith and poems. Next breath he is telling his wife to go and f someone. And when I said to him, "do not come over to my property ever again" he replied, "what on earth are you talking about? Are you CRAZY?".

I forwarded email to attorneys. And now I just know that he is evil. Pure evil. He can USE GOD and lie about faith and all matters of decency.But I think he understands what I said. My attorneys phoned his attorney and wayloaded on the guy.

So my attorneys are typing and faxing the restraining order and we have to go before the judge to ask for a temp. protective order next week. And the docket for the contempt hearing is full for this week.

It seems Jethro may be out of jail until the DA decides or we get into court.

Please pray. I am scared for my physical safety. For my finances. For my son having to go with that horrible man.

It seems that again, if I were just his mistress I would have more rights. My attorneys are fighting and are going to have one of the two orders by tomorrow.

Wasn't justice supposed to be handed down in an expedient manner in this country? Until MARRIED WOMEN have more rights to file charges against their abusive husbands, there will be more women being abused, tortured physically and mentally and washing up on beaches.

Until we are treated like anybody else, with the same legal advantages as unmarried women, we won't get justice.

It is sad when a court has to decide if someone should not get a protective order because the man, her husband, who broke into her separate residence might not "actually pose a harmful threat to her" but may just want to damage her property.

They said that this is what the judge will weigh when deciding if my son and I get a tpo or not. I know I can get the restraining order. I think the judge is reasonable and if we get same one (50% chance of that) then it may fly.

But also I am angry because they are trying to make sure the charges against him are indeed "criminal".

PLEASE PRAY THAT THE DA IS ABLE TO TRY THIS CASE AS A CRIMINAL CASE AND THAT HE IS ABLE TO PRESS BURGLARY CHARGES AGAINST JETHRO.

PRAY FOR MY SON. PRAY HE IS SAFE AND HIS LITTLE HEART IS WELL. PRAY THAT I AM HEALING AND SAFE TOO. PRAY FOR ATTORNEYS TO GET THIS DONE. PRAY THAT WE ARE SAFE AND THAT OUR FINANCIAL SITUATION GETS BETTER NOW.

Pray that I can have peace in my life.

Hi Peach,

Not much to say, cept, I wish the best for you and little one.

I don't know how you are staying so strong. I don't understand what is wrong with the justice system, why have they not taken legal action on this man.

Keep you head high, eventually, it will all end.

Peachy,
Yes, keep your head high.
Also, like I posted earlier, get to know your local policeofficers. Make sure they know the situation, and ask for extra patrols. They don't like to get involved in domestic issues (like x's breaking into homes - they told me this), but they need to be aware of the situation for the safety of you and your neighbors.

You have many people praying for you.

Peach,

How are you doing? The calvary is waiting. Got a Marine Sgt, Texan dude (I think a couple of them), CA grouch and his family (lol!!!) and whole possee of MBers just waiting for the call to 'charge'!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Left you a voicemail yesterday.... call tonight if you can.

Hugz,
L.
L.

Peach,

You said it so well---there isn't enough justice to go around for some women/children as we know this well applys to some men/thier children.

The irony and frustration of it all. As women we are expected to protect themselves/children from abuse,be responible, take stands, get away.

Once we take those steps we get stuck again in the cogs of the system.

It seems the underlying message is that it is OK for women to be bullied, oppressed, abused, accept poverty, accepting of every evil matter of degradation. But be on super absorb duty like paper towels and look like a fresh morning rose.

Such unrealistic expectations placed on women shoulders are too insane.

Your so right by addressing what happens under the criminality disputes and domestic/divorce disputes do not seem to connect at the same junction or taken to seriously unless these acts are performed on a civial platform.

What happens under the realm and within the Domestic Domain does seem to have little signicificance because well it's just a woman and her children, no real value here.

The impression given here is almost everything you have presented &proven over and over as a result of Jethro conduct still appears to look as "hearsay" by the courts which is most sad.

The question and burden of blame always seems to rest on the women. Why do women take abuse, why do the allow it, why do they stay? When women/kids leave, why are children handed over to the offending parent this makes such little sense and the cycle continues.

Seldom is the focus placed where it belongs, why do these MEN use, abuse, batter, abandoned there wives/children in the first place. Seems the message comes back saying MEN who conduct themselves in this matter can do these things all because they choose to and can!

I am wondering if our expectations to resolve things are to high and need to be lowered. Not our standards just expectations. It seems on the side of law in your state they appear to be overburdened and over run with many to men like Jethro's.

This holding pattern and strain which we are crushingly under is unbearably and terribly unfair.

Jethro sending you these cards on God, faith now seems to transmits his desperation, depression and torment. And doing these horrible things to you and your son is simply more warped twisted, communicating how unwell he is.

In my imho--Jethro/my STBX are drowning men, thrashing about in all directions to lay ahold of something, grapsing at straws albeit, to save themselves. Their frantic attempts to whip up euphoria living, with illicit sex, out of control spending expenditures, drugs,alchol hard livin isn't working for them to well.

I wonder if we were to look underneath their masks and superficiality they are doing all these horrible things to keep themselves from drowning in the sea of depression.

I wonder in your situation to reduce the craziness, if another approach might need to be considered. What would be your thoughts in throwing him out a life line instead without risking yourselves further might be more helpful to you and your son.

He sounds desperate, out of monies, angry wants your attention. What are your thoughts to give him positive helpful attention and if possible to step out of the emotions, and hold on to your tender wounds which we know are so deep for a moment.

If we were to reason past his bizarre camflouging behaviors, antics, as I am trying to look past my STBX craziness.

What would be your thoughts here to ask him how he is really feeling, your concerned about his state, stress levels, offer a humble suggestion to do something radically different.

Wonder if the next conversation you have been reading up on mental health issues, on depression, made a brief comment mention he seems to be manifesting the sypmtoms of sever depression.

Maybe he may want to consider the possibly of his obtaining a good medical doctor, obtain a good check to look at the possiblity of indetfiying any underlying organic chemistry meltdown and body burdens to be built up. As opposed at lashing out at you.

Possibilities of him looking in the direction at ardenal exhaustion, DHEA, perhaps need for Lithium Carbonate, to rebuild his chemicals back from depression, so he can think and act more clearly, reasonibly instead of his reacting, not thinking.

What are your thoughts in taking the upper hand not in a gaming sense, but sane hand of normalcy. Since he is incapable, going through a severe borg meltdown.

Thanking him for the cards, on God and faith, suggesting that it sounds like he wants to make deeper connection with GOD, may want to get right with GOD, your happy for him as this will benefit him and your son.

Wondering if we could turn the tables around again not in a gaming sense but common sense, thanking him as for the well wishes of his wanting you to have a man.

I can only imagine how you have must of felt so terribly neglected oppressed throughout your relationship with Jethro of not having a real, healthy, safe, normal mature man, generous hearted to let down your hair with, companion with, enjoy life with and build a solid romance/family with.

So dissappointing,boring, unfilling and unexciting to be with someone that.

He seems concerned about the lack of men in your life. I wonder if letting him know that the real reason you not man hunting at the moment is place a higher prememuim on your precious son, out of deep love and respect consideration for his tender heart/soul, not to burdened him further with the advent of more pain, disrespect,confusion. Leave it at that.

Redirecting him perhaps searching out ministry who could assist him with DELIVERANCE, salvation re-connection issues. Providing him the number ministry services. Leave it at that.

I also am wondering if you could tell him that you don't want to fight with him anylonger,fully aware/accept his deep contentous hatred for you and that who don't wish to traumatize him any further by any unnesscary encounters, email. He has been most clear.

I wonder if you could ask Jethro some questions for a change for himself, to himself and ask him point blank what went so wrong in life timetable, where did things really break down and where did he start to lose his conscience?

He doesn't have to provide you with an answer, might tell him you don't want an answer. But maybe those simple questions just might help him to start the process of re-connecting with himself. Leave it that.

What we do know for certain Peachy is that we are their chosen excuse TARGET for them to dump all their negative behavior problems on. They must be so angry, missing us a their convienant land fill.

Rationally,we know we are not the source or cause of their problems that caused the breakdown in their their souls. This happened so long ago in these guys.

In lieu of your being underserved by the system and reduce your both costs more effectively.

I wonder what resources you could put in place to de-esculate the pressures?

If Jethro in his melt down state of his faulty perception problems, truly belives in his sick mind that you are the sources of his problems and isn't being heard enough, why not suggest a more healthier approach.

I wonder if as suggestion he could be alleviated of his faulty persceptions and contentions about you write them down, give them to you or your pastor where you/your paster can constructively address them, put them to rest, with a message enough. He has been heard no more need for dramatics.

Perhaps, you could write all the proposed suggestions/concerns which you have and share them your pastor as a witness, lay out the concerns /boundries of no contact and have peace.

Maybe Jethro might get the rightful help he so desperately needs.

Seems he wants unconditional attention, acceptance, adventure.
Let's face it peachy. Judges are but human, to busy, drained, overburdened, strained and certainly can't give parental time, corrective discpline to all these lost wounded confused men crying out for mature, consistant attention.

I doubt the courts and his drama can satisfy Jethro his cravings, temper tantrums for male attention for the unconditional love, in his wounded soul.

As for my stbx, he has flipped our agreement all over again, now he wants to take things to court let the lawyers have what little there is, because he is out of monies again, fiancing his romances consume alot of resources and he seem to think that my children and I are his rightfull royal reserve.Wants to drain us further as he hasn't done a good enough job in destroying us already.

He's so angry now that he has nothing again, it's all been spent on partying and that he put his foolish friends ahead of the line by the stupid condo purchase. He is complaining he can't get a head in his life now. I now am responible for this, told him why he didn't buy that condo for himself in the first place.

I think we ladies sometimes caught in the way/crossfire for these guys need for daddy love!

I hope peachy will get off the ship of fools with these guys real soon. I pray that GOD will heal our children souls, from all the hardships,pain suffering we have caused our kids, to reconnect them to himselves in genguine way, lead them on the path of everlasting faith,love and rightousness.

Thanks. I understand how you feel. However, I am not in a position to speak with Jethro whatsoever. He has been abusive in the past and I am not going to talk to him. It would be like talking to a wall, except that this wall would on a whim, toss a few bricks out at you when you least expect it.

I am spending mother's day alone.

He emailed me and because it's his weekend for visitation (could not get r.o. or tpo inacted in time to negate his weekend visitation) he has my son. He emails me and TELLS ME WHEN AND HOW LONG I MAY HAVE MY SON.

He said 1)could have son from 7 pm on saturday until 4 p.m. on sunday as he has plans (he has plans? Is it Jethro Day or MOther's day or is it Family Values Day?).
2)I could pick up son AT JETHRO'S HOME. I do not go to Jethro's home, my old once dream house. He incenuated several times that they (meaning he and family values and her child) would all be in the yard playing. I am not going to go in his presence as I have pending r.o and tpo against him on behalf of myself and son. I am not going to violate the own order I am enacting. I said to Jethro via email: You can meet me at guard shack in front of the subdivison as I am not going to your home. HE said NO and that I should learn how to come over to his house. More forcing of contanct and I am not going to do it.

He is a felon. A criminal now. And an insane one. Just really bizarre though. He doesn't fit the usual criminal/burglar persona. The officer that chased him down said "Damn. Well if it don't beat all. Chasing a burglar down a street in a golf club subdivision and having the perpetrator drive away in a BMW 745il. I've seen it all."

So I tell Jethro when he blocks call on saturday (bought myself for mother's day a few gifts and was out. Was at Barnes N Noble reading one new book sipping a non fat latte.) He calls and I say that I am going to pick up son at guard shack on sunday morning at 930 am and will be keeping my boy as it's MOTHER'S DAY. He loses it and slams down phone and says that he has plans and that i cannot change his plans. Hee hee.

So I call back. And THE HO OF HO'S ANSWERS. It's MFV. She says, Jethro is out on the golf cart with son. I don't really care at all at this point. Maybe the caffeine gave me a buzz or something. I don't know but I LOST IT WITH HER AND AFTER I FINISHED THE OTHER WOMEN SITTING OUTSIDE UNDER LITTLE CAFE TABLES CLAPPED.

I said, "Now that I've got you on the phone there's a few little matters I need to once again clear up with you. First of all, I don't care what you do around your precious son. It is not my business but WHAT YOU DO EXPLICITLY IN FRONT OF MY PRECIOUS SON IS A WHOLE OTHER MATTER. YOU CAN BE AS MUCH OF A F..ING W$ORE IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY AND ANYBODY ELSE ON THIS EARTH BUT NOT IN FRONT OF MY BOY DO YOU HEAR ME WENCH? I then said that I was going to make every legal measure known to prevent that and that she and Jethro should learn to lock a door and help all children involved in their seedly little shack up to just be responsible....and wear a condom...I ended up with saying that "the courts sure don't want to hear what you also DO IN FRONT OF YOUR OWN CHILD DO YOU?" She cussed me out and said I was "Miserable woman" I said, yea, if you were married to jethro you'd be also. And that "I was jealous of her and that she'd love to kick my [censored] (I said 'IS THAT A THREAT, all the while laughing") and that I was unexplialaibly a mental case.

Now those that really know me and this situation know that Jethro cannot spell very well and that his use of the English language is legendary. In his former speeches or letters to important clients, I used to have to correct them for him at his request. I would also explain to him proper usage of some words in context with the words said. Looks as if Ms. Family Values is his PERFECT MATCH as SHE CANNOT SPELL OR USE WORDS PROPERLY IN A SENTENCE EITHER.

So I end with ,"Let me tell you C#rly, the word is INEXPLICABLE..I-N-E-X-P-L-I-C-A-B-L-E-. jethro has trouble with multi-syllable words to and it is not a shame to ask for help. I will use it in a sentence for you. "It is INEXPLICABLE how a gorgeous woman like Peachy is and how she has to deal INEXPLICABLY (see I used it as an adverb here) with an adulterous husband who is abusive and won't provide child support as per court orders and breaks rules constantly."

She screams Aaaaaaugh. Slams down phone. I start hysterically laughing at this point. I don't know why. Guess I've had enough and wanted to have some fun with her. Hell, she and Jethro had spent over 100k of OUR MONEY. Money that my son and I could use to get on with our lives.

So then Jethro calls and says that "my faith is not showing." lol...I said "well I never said I am perfect. But just under all the strain YOU PUT THIS FAMILY through." And He said that it would be amusing to present this to the court. And I said my words to Family Values elicited alot of applause from the other mothers around me reading and enjoying cappucino's and that if THE SHOE FITS WEAR IT. And that what I said is not said to anybody else. It was said to her and it was me stating both a fact and an opinion and that any court in the land would see it my way. And that my attorneys would also applaud for me and that I am not taking any more of his crap and that he is not allowed to come near me any more and neither is she and that if my son tells me one more thing, it is not going to be at all pretty for him.
_____________

More applause comes. One woman says that she was there buying a book for herself because she was very sad. Her h had slept with his secretary and she didn't know if she wanted to file for d or not and that she just felt like "Mother's Day just doesn't exist". And I told her about MB and how she could save it and how MY SITUATION IS NOT THE SAME FOR EVERYONE ELSE AND THAT MOST PEOPLE AREN'T LIKE MY STBXH AND THAT SHE HAS HOPE <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> . She thanks me and says that "a REAL mother stands up for their child just like I did."

Another lady says "I hope they throw the book at that man. Personally I'd b-slap the other woman for doing things like that in front of your boy."

I wasn't talking loud and there were only three tables around me. But it was all ladies.

Oh. Heres the best part...

_________________________________
WHAT I BOUGHT MYSELF FOR MOTHER'S DAY

Peachy is going to have a good year. I am determined to do so.

I bought the folliwng:
1)FROM YES! VICTORIA'S SECRET...Very cute undies. A little wild for me but they had these adorable dragonflies (studded with tiny rhinestones on them) and some other ones I won't mention and some brazzieres. Very cute. I am not very explicit but I think you have the drift.

These will stay in my hope drawer. lol...what I call my lingerie drawer in my armoire. For when the day of freedom comes and when I meet someone very Victoria-worthy.

2)Bought three books: Napalm and Silly Putty by George Carlin (hilarious) and How to Think Like Einstein. (about how to change your thinking and think outside of the rules like Einstein did to revolutionize your life) and Women's Guide to Successful Negotiating (to help me in my business pursuits). And a precious bookmark.

I jogged yesterday and tanned on my back porch too.

Please pray for the job. The company will decide on monday or tuesday if the expansion to GA will continue or if it is for Florida only. I am already chosen as their candidate. They told me via cell phone last week. The next position is mine. Either it is now or has to wait a few months for it to be approved financially.

So I am still submitting resume and hunting as I have to get ahead for my son and I. We deserve this.

I understand my behavior is a bit selfish now. But I deserve it as my stbxh has had about four years of living like Austin Powers. So I will tone it down, way down, but start enjoying life frugally but happily. I am not going to take his b.s. anymore and am committed to prosecuting him to the fullest extent of the law.

However, the tables have now turned on Jethro. He is in a very bad position now. And it is proven to law enforcement officials. They said he will be found guilty of misdemeanor/felony for breaking in and believe they have a very good chance at nailing him on the burglary charge.

I spoke with detectives alot and they are aware of the precarious divorce and the finance situation and we talked. They said, well we could arrest him for the misdeameanor felony which will stay on his record permanently and serve as a warning/red flag to any court that may hear about custody issues and also put heavy pressure on him for the burglary charges. We can see if this somehow works together with your getting a good deal from him. He needs to have it coming at him like he's done to you...have it come at him from all sides and then he will crumble. The officers alluded to maybe kinda using the breaking in as leverage to get this thing settled in a much more favorable way for me and my son. I will do it.

So if there's not enough justice, I will see how I can go about getting it one way or another. And in reading the Einstein book it says that you use laws and bend them to get a better outcome. That's how Einstein came up with everything. I am playing by the rules, but am going to work the rules to our advantage. Sometimes you have to. That is all I say.

I am not saying to become like the foggy ones are. I am not saying to commit adultery. To lie and cheat to get what you want. What I am saying is to do everything in your power positively to protect yourself and your children.

While online just now, Jethro tried to IM me. I clicked off. I don't want any communication from him ever. No Im. He may email. Nothing else.

I am declaring myself free. I am declaring my son free. That is what this mother's day is about. About my son and I being free together from his grip.

We will get our justice. The burglary charge will come soon. Officers said a maximum of two weeks. They said to re initiate divorce negotiations in about a week through attorneys just as when the papers are hitting him about his burglarizing my home. They said that would make things much better. Plus by then I will have tpo and ro for my son and I.

WTG PEACHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LMAO and applauding LOUDLY!

You are GETTING it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Love and light,

Jacky

Peach,

Glad to finally hear from you. I was gonna ask one of the Marines to go and pay you a visit to make sure you were ok!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

As for Jethro and (let's see about choosing another name for her since FV just doesn't match even by the remotest stretch of the imagination...... howz about Freaki Mae.... she looked a bit frazzled in the hair (like she pours on way too much chemicals). LOL!!! Any whoz, as for Jethro, well he has comin' what he should have coming in the least. We will be pulling for the GA PD dept to do their best and when they throw the book at him, I hope it hit's the target where it counts the most (front and back pockets!!!). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Make sure Jethro doesn't break into your house again, he may want what is in your 'hope drawer'. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

take care,
L.

Thanks Orchid and Jacky...

I can only hope for a renewal like you have done Jacky...btw..how's the tall one doing these days? Payback is hell for your xh isn't it?

Anyway, been battling Jethro and Freaky Mae. You're right Ms. family Values isn't all that. And I called him saying that he should not be livign with someone. Guess what? He admits and says they aren't living together but I also got him as I found out THAT HIS MISTRESS NEVER MARRIED AND HAD THE KID OUT OF WEDLOCK. He always threw it up at me how she "made it own her own" and "didn't get much from the baby's dad" and how she and the "baby's dad had a good relationship".

I have the answer to this one folks..IT SURE WOULD BE EASY TO HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE IF YOU ONLY HAD CASUAL SEX WITH THEM AND SUPPOSEDLY THAT CASUAL SEX LED TO PREGNANCY AND WITHOUT MARRIAGE, NOT MUCH OF A LEGAL AGREEMENT TO STICK TO. Probably the guy bailed out. And being that they were SO YOUNG WHEN THEY HAD BABY X, HE COULDN'T HAVE MADE MUCH MONEY ANYWAY...

But I was right...SHE WAS NEVER MARRIED. Thus, she has TO HAVE HER NICKNAME CHANGED...Now she's freaky Mae.

Anyway, this weekend is my medical convention, the one I am president of. The society has been so kind to pay for me to have a verty nice roomy suite for free this weekend and even gotten together the kid's camp program for the other parents who are attending with kids...Having fun with baby turtle races, fun camp stuff and games for the few hours I will be in seminars. But Jethro is claiming that HE WILL GET VISITATION WITH OUR SON ON EITHER THURSDAY OR FRIDAY OF THIS WEEK. Heck, he just had our son. And I am getting the stipulations of our agreement. He is not getting him this weekend and ruining deliberatley the convention.

WHEN HE BROKE INTO MY HOME, IN THE COMPUTER ROOM HE HAD TO FIND SOME OF THE DOCUMENTS RELATING TO THE CONVENTION AS TO WHEN, WHERE AND HOW LONG. So he knows. And I am frightened about that as well. I have the attorneys working hard to get the papers ready by tomorrow so we can have the r.o and tpo filed already with court so he will have no choice but to leave us alone.

And I definitely am keeping secret my hope drawer. But knowing kinky little Jethro, he probably went through my stuff "just hoping" he could prove my living an immoral lifestyle like his...BY LOOKIN' IN MY UNDERWEAR DRAWER..LOL...

But I am asking for extra patrols by my home this weekend and am letting every neighbor including the police know where I will be so they can be on guard for his stupidity.

He actually said he went to church this weekend. Kept my precious baby FROM BEING WITH ME ON MOTHER'S DAY and said HE WENT TO CHURCH. He is such a liar. Maybe he went, but that was to look good only. You live what you believe in your heart.

Please pray for my job too. We need a new start for us. We need to get away from Jethro once and for all. If he chooses to get help and seriously sticks to it and it is documented, I will allow him to see our son. But if not, I am going for full custody. I am primary parent already, but want full custody.

I told attorneys today that I wanted full custody. He's done it the last times. Keeping my baby from me on mother's day and now trying to ruin our time together. Heck, it isn't every day that I can have a weekend away with my boy at a very beautiful resort free of charge. And in my recent memory, I CAN'T REMEMBER WHEN THIS HAPPENED FOR HE AND I. But we are going to cherish our time together as we always do. My son is the apple of my eye and deserves to be away from that monster until he is cleared by a psych eval. and through the court system. Until the day papers are filed and the judge rules, there will only be pending tpo and ro against him, but that should suffice for enough just cause for him not to get custody anymore until he's been proven guilty or not guilty. And LET ME SEE....IT WILL BE...GUILTY.A

Pray hard for us. And thanks Orchid. Geez. A marine you say? Hmmm. Did I tell you how I actually got to liking watching Iraqi Freedom footage b/c of the cute guys in the uniforms...Always been a sucker for a man in a business suit, scrubs, or military uniform. I think maybe perhaps my hope drawer has become a bit TOO DUSTY OVER THE LAST YEAR OR SO...lmaorotf........

JMHO: Ole boy Jethro B is such a DipSh!t. How stupid can he get? Is there no end to his fog??
You go, NotPeachy - justice will be yours, along with the $$$ you are long overdue and most important of all, you will have your precious boy with you! Maybe - just maybe - JB might wake up one of these years, with AIDS or some other STD and realize that he should have stayed with the woman who loved him. YOU, in the meanwhile will have landed that lucrative job you are trying for and will have found a new love - someone who will treat you the way you deserve. Keep the faith, my friend!
Harold

Peach, Any news?

-AD

Here's a little something that might cheer you up Peachy:
It's 'old divorce news' but I believe it's still as true today as it was back then...

Right after I moved out of our house and the STBX (at that time) had moved the OM in our place, I was helping them paint our house (takin' the high road) and one day she came out dressed really sharp, you know, brand new pants suit, hair done up really nice, make up just right, etc. She looked at me in total disdain and said, "I hope you rot in hell, Harold." Well, I just looked at her and told her to have a nice day - the way I always had - and then after she left, I left too - never to return and finish painting her house...
Ugly? Not on the outside, but then again, I've always had an old saying, " Beauty is only skin-deep but ugliness goes clear to the bone." A perfect description of my ex-wife!
One last thought - at that time, (1998) she was 35 1/2 and I was 40. I really don't give a crap about my getting wrinkles, grey hair, etc. - hey, we all grow old and then die... But... looking back on the VANITY she had wearing those nice clothes, all dolled up, etc. for whom? An old 42-year old man who had scraggly grey hair and partial beard. Oh well, whatever... The next thought I had was... give little Miss Highpockets another 30 years after that day... and she's going to be an OLD BAG - just how good is makeup at covering that up...
It made my day...
Still Laughing After All These Years...
Harold
Now it's nearly 5 years later: UPDATE on my Ex-Wife:
She has Type II Diabetes, has regained every single pound back she lost, her husband had a stroke, our oldest son got out of their house by joining the Marines (he's in Baghdad right now) and the youngest son is talking about also joining the USMC. My family has since found out the truth about all the lies she told them and they want no part of her in our family any longer. She's stuck in Alaska with no way of ever saving enough money to move back to Virginia where her blood family is...
More of my History: ----
2-81 - First Marriage (abuse began on our Honeymoon)
7-87 My MLC (Came to Terms)
6-94 - D-Day (My EA of 2 months)
6-96 - D-Day (Her PA, began Marriage Counseling)
12-97 - Separation
2-98 - W engaged to OWH
4-98 - I moved out
6-98 - DV-Day I begin Divorce Recovery on my own and realized I was a Verbal Abuse Victim.
10-98 - OWM divorced
11-98 - DW married OM
9-99 - Met Wonderful Christian Lady
10-99 - Our Engagement
4-00 - We Married
8-01 - D-Day (My Online EA of 3 months) Began Marriage Counseling
9-01 - Realized my STUPIDITY of not “forsaking all others” and trying to “help” friends - stay non-involved and leave the big stuff for the Professional Counselors!
TODAY - We are closer than ever and are truly ONE in Christ - Lessons Learned: GUARD YOUR HEART... Blessed In Texas!
*********************************************
So Peachy, the bottom line is: Things look pretty crappy right now, but Justice is coming! You will get everything you deserve and OBJB will get his soon enough. You will be walking on TOP of that Glass Ceiling while he continues to sink to new lows until one day he winds up in the AIDS Ward in the local hospital, if not worse...
Keep the Faith, my Friend!
"Weeping endures for a night, but JOY comes in the Morning" -- Morning is coming, Peachy!
Harold