Hi I just read your thread. I applaud your decision to end all contact with OM for life when exposed and to choose the health and happiness of your family over the addiction of your affair. I am sure that is a tough choice and one that you need to repeat every day. That choice is probably made tougher by the actions your BH is making since then.

I too am a BH. I would tend to agree with MEDC though that your BH is still trying to decide what he wants to do with your M. The pain and feeling of rejection that your H feels as a result of your actions is immense. Just like a wounded animal will lash out at anything that comes near, your BH's desire for "revenge" will cloud his judgement. My FWW has really been doing everything perfectly by the book, and I truly appreciate her efforts, her actions that she is taking to help repair our marriage. It has been about 6 weeks since I exposed and she agreed to NC, but I still think about divorce or other ways to "payback" her betrayal multiple times every day. I have been able to not act on any of those negative thoughts. Now if she was constantly using Disrespectful Judgements, like, "BH should take call to say goodnight to DD" or "BH should not go out drinking with his buddies to forget about his life's problems for a little while," I don't know that I could resist.

Given how wounded a BH psyche is, I would expect some pretty bizarre behavior from your BH. One thing that tends to remain though is a desire to be a MAN and protect your family. Maybe you can change how your present the information to your BH: "DD really missed having you tuck her in. DD said she loves how BH makes sure her room has no monsters in it at bedtime." or "TFC really missed having BH tuck me in too, TFC misses falling asleep in BH's arms." or "TFC cannot believe how stupid it was to jeopardize having BH as the head of this family, DD and TFC need the feeling of safety that we have with BH to kissing us goodnight."

You are going to need to work very hard to make sure that BH feels loved, respected and safe to invest his heart with you again. Right now he does not feel those things and it is manifest by the decisions hen is making.