TFC, you're still bouncing off the walls. Lots of random thoughts, some theorizing, but little action. Look, you’ve gotten as far as you can with trying to discuss issues with the alien. He’s not, repeat, not going to respond to your entreaties to end this affair with that woman until he’s forced to. Sorry…it just isn’t going to happen.

Your first step is to break up the affair. What are you going to do to make that happen? BTW, your husband is going to be “livid” no matter what you do so don’t make that an issue. People get over being angry; marriages don’t get over having a third party interjected into them.

A suggestion: buy the book Not "Just Friends" by Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D. It'll be an eye opener for you and, who knows, your WH might even see something in it he can identify with, when the fantasy is broken up.