First off, your synopsis is right on. And I am finding that my distress over his lack of willingness to commit to working on the M leads me to feel that the M is doomed. Let's hope it isn't, but I cannot help but feel that I need to now open my eyes and realize that we may very well not work out. It breaks my heart to think like this.

Because I had a bad day yesterday and this morning, H decided to go ahead and tell me the "surprise" ... he is coming home from his trip a day early to be home for Mother's Day.

So, here we are. I generally feel there is way too much distance between us, then he throws morsels my way and I eat them up like a starving animal!

I agree that to stay in Plan A as long as possible will be my best bet. I don't want him to get too comfortable in Plan A, though. And I don't want him to just be building up a friendship with me that only leads to D. As much as I like him, I can't see us being D and being close friends - I think it would hurt too much.

Btw - I forgot to mention that we discussed ENs the other day. His top needs are listed below. If you have any advice to how to help in meeting some of these, I'm all ears (or eyes, really):

Sexual Fulfillment, Openness & Honesty, Financial Support, Admiration, "Freedom" (that's one he added on his own)