Well, it's surely nice he's coming home a day early but, with all due respect, it's little more than a gesture. To me, a man arranging to be at home on such a day is a thing to be taken for granted, rather than something for which he expects you to be especially pleased. When (a) he tosses out such crumbs as this but, (b) still doesn't answer text messages or calls you make to him and, (c) when he keeps you emotionally at arm's length when he IS around…then coming home a day early seems to me to be a pretty empty thing.

SF is routinely at the top of most men’s EN list. It’s no surprise. Openness and Honesty may be a reference to your affair but, whether it is or not, it’s a good thing for both of you to have in your ENs. I have to wonder if he thinks it would be a good thing for him to give you, as well as receiving it from you?

It’s good, from a strategic point of view, that admiration and financial support rank are on his list. Those, plus SF, are things he won’t be getting in Plan B. Their loss will make Plan B that much more effective.

As to how you can meet them, the first two are self-explanatory. You’ve mentioned meeting his needs in one area and I’m sure you’re making a great effort toward radical honesty. Since he mentioned it, perhaps you might want to review that policy in SAA just to make sure you’ve done everything you intended to do.

Financial support: I suppose he wants the best job he can get…the one where the rewards are the greatest. It may be something on his mind now as a justification for traveling so often (something that causes stress in the strongest of marriages) because of the better pay. Admiration, to me, is something that is earned. It’s curious he wants admiration, but he’s been acting in a distinctly unadmirable fashion. I wonder what a psychologist would have to say about that?

To me, him adding “freedom” to his list of ENs was a snide, spiteful thing to do. If he wants his freedom, he can file a petition in family court and he knows it. I see signs he wants his cake and wants to be able to eat it too, to coin a phrase.

I think if it wasn’t an empty, though unpleasant, gesture…then it’s the attitude of a person only half a step away (if that far) from deliberately going on the prowl for another affair. It worries me, so I’m going to hope it was just an attempt to manipulate you into getting closer to him (to admire him more?) so as to prevent him from realizing his “freedom.”

Will you consider calling Dr. Harley’s radio show? You are just as anonymous on the air as you are here, you know?

Comments from other MB folks? Come on people. TFC needs the input.