TFC, I’d like you to read another thread out here, one started by Sadmo. Please review…study it…very, very closely. [color:"blue"][b]Here[/b][/i][/color] is a link to her thread.

Sadmo is an extremely prolific writer in her posts, by which I mean she posts frequent updates and goes into a lot of detail on how her day went and what her interaction was with her WH. I think you’ll see yourself in many of the things she has to say. In fact, in your last post, you said precisely what Sadmo did a couple of months ago.

Read her thread, TFC, because what has happened in her story is a tragedy. If you read it closely, you’ll see a woman progressing from wanting very badly to recover her marriage to a point where she is today seeking a divorce without going any further in her strategy than Plan A, if indeed she had a strategy. wasn’t because she didn’t know about Plan B. She was advised long ago to go into that plan, but she was afraid it would drive her WH farther away.

It may have had that effect but I doubt it. I don't recall the last time I saw a thread where that happened. Thing is, he was already living separately from the family and only coming around when he got the urge. Essentially, he was keeping her on the line while he sat on a fence, eating his cake and giving her just enough to keep wanting more of her ENs met by him while he explored other relationships. He was using Sadmo as his backup plan just in case he didn’t meet someone new and exciting.

As you read her thread, you’ll see this became increasingly obvious to Sadmo. She lost her self-respect and I’m sure WH’s respect, though he may have enjoyed what he saw as her submissiveness to him. In Sadmo’s posts of the last few days, you’ll read how Sadmo finally reached the tipping point and allowed her anger to spill over into bitterness and retribution.

It’s not that she wasn’t advised to go into a nice dark Plan B to conserve her love for her husband. Orchid, Mulan, and any number of other people asked her to set one up but...she was afraid it would drive WH away. Today, without doing a Plan B (or a substitute for Plan B we call a “180”), she’s going directly from Plan A to divorce court.

Isn’t it ironic? She was afraid any action she took would drive him away...and now she’s the one [i]pushing him away as hard as she can. In the space of two months, Sadmo has gone from desperately wanting to salvage her marriage to a woman who cannot stand the sight of her husband.

TFC, when you’ve studied Sadmo’s thread, please come back and answer Orchid’s question again, okay?