TFC... if you continue the way you are going you will wind up divorced. You continue to poison your mind and your chances of recovery.
If there is an ACTIVE affair, deal with it through boundaries. Otherwise, the focus should be as JL has said. I will tell you that LH, while good at comforting, is NOT the person that I think will best lead you out of this stuff. ML and Pep are two good sources...Mrs W is another.
Just my 2 cents but I see you spending way too much time in anger and not enough in trying to move forward as JL pointed out.