We sold our house.

She picked out a condo and we both signed for it...(very naive)... she couldn't afford it on her own. At that point, I had a lot of hope... just stupid.

I am in an apartment about 2 blocks from the condo.

No separation agreement.

the boys stay with her primarily, but we had open agreement... anytime I wanted them or they wanted to be with me.

In fact, until Monday, when I found out about new OM, I was there practically every night or together with them. The only thing lacking was open communication and sleeping together... although that even happened a couple of times during the separation.

I had no clue that she was still in the place in her mind that she is. I thought she had learned her lesson, but still was trying to sort out her own beliefs and feelings on her life and happiness. It takes me a while to figure it out sometimes, LOL.

Regularly she told me she missed me, loved me, hugged and kissed me, we talked about going on a cruise as a family... etc, etc.. She would invite me over for dinner.

She did not commit to getting back together and would not discuss that... I was not pushing it for one more month, our original agreement was 3 months separated. But hopefully it is evident how I could have been mislead about where she was at.

The only clue was that she was different around me when her family was there. They did invite me over, earlier in the separation for a family get-together... even one time went when she was working. But lately, there was nothing. She avoided having me around if she could when her family was there. So that tells me she was telling them one thing and me another. She had a whole lot of cake on her table... and enjoying every last bite.

This is tough. I do miss her already... even with how I feel about her and her behavior. That shows me I still have a lot of work to do on myself.

I think I should stop the snooping. The snooping will hurt me now, even though I am not seeing anything anymore, because it is obsessive and leaves me focused on her rather than moving forward.

The hardest part is wanting to move forward, but also wanting to have my family back at the same time. I feel torn.

Shaden


BH (Me) - 38
WW - 36
Married - 16 years
2 children - 10,12
DD1 - 05/30/05 - EA suspected, W wanted space
DD2 - 07/01/05 - EA/PA discovered & confronted WW
DD3 - 07/21/05 - Further contact discovered and now ended.
11/07/05 - exposed to OMW...
07/01/07 - separated to give "space". recovery was not progressing.
09/04/07 - DDAY all over... new OM.

Patience with God is Faith.
Patience with myself is Hope.
Patience with others is Love.
FAITH REQUIRES ACTION!