Shaden,

Your child is in conflict now because perhaps he does see that it's a CHOICE. That someone is hurting him by CHOICE. Of course that is upsetting. Someone that he loves and trusts is choosing to be selfish when she should be choosing to love him. Ouch.

I bet you dollars to doughnuts that it was present as something that he HAD to accept...an event that MUST occur and because of that he has been in survival mode just trying to acclimate.

This is how children are corrupted...their perception is deliberately skewed so that they do not create CONFLICT by reacting in a way that creates guilt or other unpleasant emotion in the guilty party.

As long as that kid is smiling while "surviving" she is free to pretend that she has escaped consequences.


Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once ~Shakespeare