My 12 yr old is funny. Last night when he was talking about being glad that he now has some answers... we discussed for a couple of minutes... and then I said that we shouldn't be talking about it anymore unless he has questions. I said let's change the subject.
Then I kept going and said... "I just want you to know that I have faith in God that everything is going to turn out allright for us" He just said... why are you talking about faith in God... I thought we were changing the subject. LOL
My 12 yr. old is the one talking and crying. It is my 10 yr.old that I am more worried about. He doesn't talk about what's going on in his head.
He is the one who throughout separation would ensure that his hugs and kisses were equal and tried to make sure neither of us were alone. If older son was with one parent then he would go with the other.
You are right about the fact they are not used to me standing up for myself... and it is generally easy to guilt and force me down. I made it easy because I always second-guessed myself. Thank you for reminding me that the main point here is that even though I might make some mistakes, I am standing up for what is right and for myself. That makes them uncomfortable and that is too bad for them.
I know that it is not recommended to solicit help from WW's family members. But I am considering calling her Aunt who is a very respected and loved minister high up in her church. I'm not sure if she is in Toronto or England right now. I know that WW Mom and her are close. The aunt had said that if WW left me, I would be snatched up pretty quick by someone else.
I'm wondering if she would be one who would also confront what is wrong... I know she is that type of person. She even resigned from her position because she felt a strong conflict within the church... and this was huge, because she was considered a favorite to eventually become the head of our church in the World before she retired. She has since been re-instated (but probably lost any chance of becoming the leader).
My reason for doing this is to talk some sense into WW's mom. I doubt she knows the whole truth about WW. WW was denying that there was anything going on to me last night... so I'm sure she is telling everyone else the same thing.
BH (Me) - 38
WW - 36
Married - 16 years
2 children - 10,12
DD1 - 05/30/05 - EA suspected, W wanted space
DD2 - 07/01/05 - EA/PA discovered & confronted WW
DD3 - 07/21/05 - Further contact discovered and now ended.
11/07/05 - exposed to OMW...
07/01/07 - separated to give "space". recovery was not progressing.
09/04/07 - DDAY all over... new OM.
Patience with God is Faith.
Patience with myself is Hope.
Patience with others is Love.
FAITH REQUIRES ACTION!