I think you did the right thing by telling your sons the truth. In the long run it is best. I am also a grey thinker, but only when it comes to this adultery situation. Everything else is pretty black and white. I think for me the grey is masking simple fear and not even masking it very well. Conquering the fear is essential, now and going forward, whether your WW turns around or not.
All the Best-

BS (me) 40
WW 38
DD 10
DS 7
Got "I don't love you" letter 8/05.