This is the downside of surveillance.

I am all for "snoopery" which supports your perception that...yep...something is up...but it CAN become very obsessive if you don't put limits on it.

People tend to become so focussed on snooping that they stop moving foreward in their OWN lives.

I'd be willing to bet that you have spent more time fine combing your WWs emails than you have improving your own position.

It happens. Here's what you can do.

1 Tell yourself the truth. There is no reason at this point for you to be trying to figure out her already have an accurate perception of reality. Everything IS what it seems to be.

2 Look at what ELSE is going on during those times.

Is it just before bed? When you feel lonely? When you feel anxious?

3 Get your ducks in a row.

Get your own plan in action.

4 Get a life dude.

You need to be getting out. Socialising. Redecorating. Take a class. Do SOMETHING to occupy your mind.

Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once ~Shakespeare