I spoke to my WW tonight about the boys hockey. She doesn't want to. I just said I would do whatever I had to do when I had the boys. I will be registering them tomorrow.

I did ask her about the hug... she said I guess I understand why I would give a "lame" hug. I said I was laughing about it... that I didn't know if she meant the hug or twinkie.

She got it immediately. She said, I'm not going to discuss this with you. I said, why not. I'm not yelling at you or anything. I proceeded to say that I am very concerned for the boys and for her. I am totally fine. I am concerned in that she is going to get very hurt. How could any guy, knowing she is married with 2 kids, after a couple of conversations be saying the types of things to her... and anyone in their right mind not be afraid of this.

There was more said along these lines with the same calm tone.

The conversation did not end angry... but she was defintely defensive and unimpressed that I was sharing my opinion.

I really don't think this will get me anywhere... except I was wanting to have one conversation like this without getting angry myself... to show that I was not affected by her anymore.

Was this a mistake?

I do want Plan B to come quickly... but now have to wait to set things up with a lawyer. Is there a way I can go to Plan B before the details are finalized?

The problem is for me that I know I am still addicted to her and want that feeling gone. I don't like feeling out of control around her. I was in pretty good shape with this conversation, but at the end, I still felt pretty crappy. She was saying that she will be putting the kids first but that she knows what she is doing with OM and it is not my business.

I just simply said... My belief is that the best thing for my boys is for them to be in their family, and I don't believe you have done everything possible to let that happen before you are moving on... so it is not my belief that you are putting them first in this circumstance.

She did not respond... except to say that she does not want to discuss it further.

I remained calm. But is any of this just hurting my position?


BH (Me) - 38
WW - 36
Married - 16 years
2 children - 10,12
DD1 - 05/30/05 - EA suspected, W wanted space
DD2 - 07/01/05 - EA/PA discovered & confronted WW
DD3 - 07/21/05 - Further contact discovered and now ended.
11/07/05 - exposed to OMW...
07/01/07 - separated to give "space". recovery was not progressing.
09/04/07 - DDAY all over... new OM.

Patience with God is Faith.
Patience with myself is Hope.
Patience with others is Love.