Just wanted to get a thought off my chest.

This is WW's third affair?

Do you really see her changing??

Sure...it happens, but if you were a betting man wouldn't you lay odds that this may be who she really is and it's not ever going to get better?

If divorce is the most likely outcome...wouldn't it be wise to put yourself in the best possible situation within which to win, at the very least, the maximum amount of custody you can handle?

You signed for the condo...does that mean the deed (not just the mortgage) is in your joint name?

If so...why not consider a plan wherein you just uncerimoniously move back in to YOUR home. The condo is a better place from which to fight for custody as it is OWNED and NOT a apartment. Plus, it's where the children sleep at night. You could move back in without telling her a word about it. Do it while she's out. Keep the apartment, for a short time, as a place SHE can run to if she so desires. Further, doesn't Canada require a 12 month minimum separation? Well, you could reset that date with just one night together at home. You can give the following as your reason: I moved out so we could have distance and think clearly about our relationship. I wanted you to miss me and see how important I was to this home. It was meant to be a RECOVERY tool...NOT, a separation leading to divorce. It was NOT meant to give you space so you could pursue other men. Seeing that my purposes for the separation are no longer necessary...I moved home. This is our home. My wife and kids are all here and I need to see that everything is being taken care of. I know how crazy things get when you are having an affair.

Another factor may be that you will be viewed by the court as the one that left and already agreed to the current custody arrangement. They will see no reason to alter your previously agreed to plan. They won't see your separation the way you do.

You may have to put off Plan B until SHE moves out or both stay put and fight it out. Sure the marriage is a priority but I think the children are more so. WW and her family are NOT going to be raising those kids properly so somebody has to. The more time you can win with them the better.

Mr. Wondering

Last edited by MrWondering; 09/13/07 07:53 AM.

FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.