The best thing you can do now, is do exactly what I've told you to do twice! Go find an individual counselor. Not tomorrow, not next week.... NOW!!!

Let your wife know, that you still love her very much and that you're trying to get yourself the help you need. Don't beg her to stay. She'll only see that as you doing all of this out of desperation. Tell her very calmly that you don't want a divorce and realize you need to talk to someone about all of this.

But if she chooses to leave, that's up to her. You can't MAKE her stay. She'll have to decide if she can live with that decision for the rest of her life, or not. But either way, you need to work on YOU!!!!

Just like she couldn't control you looking at porn and everything else you did, you can't control whether or not she stays married to you.

Maybe a trial separation wouldn't be such a bad idea. It would give her the space she may need to think things through and it would give you time to get into counseling and show her (and mainly yourself!!!) that you're improving.

The one thing you have to remember, is that you can't unring a bell. You did what you did. You can't change the past, only the future. And sometimes, the things we do can't be "fixed". This may very well have been the straw that broke the camel's back for her. That's the risk you took when you did what you did!!! I'm sorry if that sounded harsh, please don't take it that way.