I am still trying. I am still coping with the reality of how I let the love slip. It is hard for either of us to really understand how the love and devotion I had when I made the vows, just seemed to disappear when she had our first child.

I have a hard time explaining things. I feel like I fell out of love, and I didn't LOVE enough to not hurt her. She is struggling with the idea of who I am, and what she thought she had to hold on to. It is like what she was waiting seven years for never showed up. It proved itself to not exist.

I do love her, but maybe I have just not been IN love. But at the same time, when you love anybody at all, you do not put them in a position of lesser value. I took my internal power struggle out on her. She was not a culprit of any circumstance. I was. I can say that now, but it does not change how she has to deal with the reality of our situation.