Pom... I haven't been around in a while, but I know your plight. Hang in there.

Just FYI - I don't invite XH over "regularly"... he came for Christmas. For our kids' birthdays we usually go someplace with them, or do something at our jointly-owned business for them.

But you're right - we do have an amicable arrangement. We don't socialize together, but when we do work together we behave as any two friends do - we talk about stuff we've done outside of work etc.

I don't know if that's possible with your ex, given all the circumstances. You're different people than my XH and I are.

For your sake, however I do hope you can both get to a point where you both put the kids' needs first. I know you're doing that but it's your XW's *choice* as to whether she does that or not - and based on your side of the story, I'm not sure if that's going to happen. It would take some huge changes on her part, and you know as well as anybody that you can't compel that.

All of you (including your XW) continue to be in my thoughts and prayers, that amidst this less than ideal situation, you can all come to some sort of arrangement that everybody can live with.


F/40, DD15 DS13 M 1989 DDay his EA May 1998. S Aug 2004. D Dec 05. I filed. 4/07 Post-D Plan A with 180, with hopes of R. 6/23/07 XH said no to R. 8/24/07 Went on a date with someone new, "B". 1/22/08 Still seeing B, life is good! Learning and growing each day. Ask me about Geocaching!