Great question. I think that unfortunately, WS sometimes forget or block out the memory of how terrible things are following the A and frankly for him, even during the affair. In my own situation, my FWH's A nearly finished us both off. We both would have sworn on our lives that he would never again even contemplate another affair.

Well, then we went thru a rough period and darn if he didn't start walking down the same behavoir road that led him to his first affair.

I am sure that deep down inside, if he had thought his actions thru, he would have stopped himself right off. But once again, he didn't see where his actions might just lead him nor did he consider how I might react to his heading in that direction yet again.

Once I discovered it, I nearly ended our marriage immediately. FWH finally woke up and realized that he didn't have to end up in a full-blown affair again to bring our marriage to an end.

I do believe that he does now have a pretty clear understanding of what any further potentially adulterous behavior on his part will lead to, but I still pray often that it will be enough to overcome his propensity to make really bad decisions when he is either hurt or angry, cause if it does happen again, I'm done with him.


I am the BW,
He is the FWH
D-Day: 12/02/03