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Do any of you have a link for the SNL saga you are referring to? For the sake of education, I'd like to see it.

I agree. And, I think it would be helpful to BS's who are struggling with recovery, to discuss how you know whether a WS is a FWS. I know this has been discussed before. But I am wondering, for example, how long does it take for a WS to really become sorry for the hurt they have caused, and to truly want to do what it takes to make it up to the BS? I hear FWS (really former) who realize the pain they've caused and are willing to do whatever it takes... Extraordinary Care. Then I hear others (not Former???) who just want to "move past it..." Are they still foggy? Are they "former" or are they still in danger of backsliding? How long does it usually take, if the WS is truly on the road to recovery?

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To believer's point, there can be FWS who resolve to hide their inconsiderate behavior better the next time. Many of us have heard "I didn't tell you about the affair because I knew how much it would hurt you."

Either you are willing to care for your spouse by following the POJA, or you aren't. If you aren't, put both of you out of the misery of a cat and mouse game.

Exactly. Then wouldn't they be not really Former?

What are some signs a BS can watch for? What would help someone who is being gaslighted?


me - 47 tired
H - 39 cool
married 2001
DS 8a think
DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy:
(Why is DS7b now a blockhead???)
(Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)