From my viewpoint, the BS is entitled to believe there is no other man or woman in the world in the viewpoint of the WS. The only lies that are permitted are those associated with birthday and Christmas gifts, the only deceit is when they are planning something special for the BS. The thought process of the WS should be, not how to defend themselves against what is perceived to be an accusation, but to relieve the mind of the BS. Your mindset should be knowing that every time you hurt your spouse you have hurt yourself. Everytime you disrespect your spouse, you disrespect yourself. You know the old 2 hearts, 2 souls equals one love. You love yourself and you will love your spouse in the proper way. Throw out the trash in your past that "made" you act up. The only ego trip a WS needs is to see the love in the eyes of their BS, after the emotional assault the WS has given them. Go forward into tomorrow with a renewed spirit and soul.....Prayers for you both GF

Marriages don't fail, people do. (And I don't recall who said it)