Hi Don't Know,
Been out most of the afternoon and sorry I couldn't get back to you sooner.
But are there some typical stages that I can expect along the way? I mean does this stage typically last a month or 6 months? Consider that we ARE doing things the MB way with NC
Well, yes and no. We often times see what could easily be described as
typical somewhere along your timeline and remember that, OK BTDT, I got the tee shirt that says I survived!
You need IMHO, to understand the larger picture here. What you are really doing is
GRIEVING what you have lost in your M. Namely, a perfect M that would never be infiltrated by infedelity.
There are five different stages to the grieving process and I wish I had my fingertips on exactly how it goes, but I will attempt at the risk of being wrong. If someone else has it better, please correct me.
The first is shock and disbelief;
You remember Dday right. Rremember how knumb you were? Couldn't talk, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep?
The second is disbelief:
You begin to grope for ways to excuse your WS, they must have been out of their mind, it must have been something I did, he/she wouldn't do this to me me unless there was some other plausible excuse! This, BTW,
is not forgiveness! Next; the anger and bitterness set in. "I never did anything to deserve this, I have been a good and faithful spouse and have loved him/her with all my heart." any echoes like that ringing in your head?
Next comes depression and a feeling of hopelessnes. Nothing I can do to change what has happened.As much as I try, I can't unring the bell that has been rung. UGGG
Lastly comes
TRUE FORGIVENESS The realization that just as Dr H says, we are all wired for infidelity. Throw into that the unmet emotional need not being met, and the right set of circumstances( IE th opportunity), and we have a powder keg with a fuse lit.
I have more, but rather than get timed out I'll stop for now.
All Blessings,
Jerry