Quote:

QNL,

I'm doing quite a bit I think. I do the dishes, I'm the one who has to worry about dinner everynight. Making sure the kids homework gets done. I can only do there other EN's when she let's me and right now she doesn't let me at all anymore. I thought we were in better shape a month ago.


I want to defer to the vets on this. But for me, when I read what you are writing it says to me that you are doing things for HER.

That's not Plan A. Plan A is about your plan, what you are doing to create change in yourself to build a new M. You are just showing her that you are capable of meeting her EN's and when you get the opportunity you jump on it.

My WH moved out immediately from D-day and hasn't looked back once. What I can tell you with all my heart and soul is I went down fighting for my M. I have been given almost NO OPPORTUNITIES, but I have made them happen and they came from me because I loved him. I did get caught in expectations, because I wanted to see that I mattered to him.

I never got anything, but I kept doing whenever I could. I have been at this for almost 10 months. My sitch looks hopeless, absolutely hopeless. I am losing the man I love with all my heart and now I am choosing to go into Plan B and quite possibly never see or talk to him again. It's crushing me in spirit and my heart.

But I will tell you that no matter what happens with our M. I somehow with HARD work and guidance from G-d and the special people on here am becoming and continue to become the woman that G-d envisioned for me. I have lost 86 lbs, I have gotten rid of the anger that lived inside me, I realize how much I loved my H and am proud that even though he has consistently treated me like trash and throw me away, I still work at creating opportunities to gain my M back.

I guess what I am saying is, have you realized what your part in creating this situation was and what steps have you taken to change it from ever happening again. Not just by reading on here, but living it?

Does that help?


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09