One other thing. And this too was hard for me to understand. But it's true. Your M may not be in recovery, but you are by working a Plan A and looking at your behaviors and changing what you can.

The old AA saying.. Grant me the serenity to accept the things you can not change, Change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.

You are changing, whether your WW will choose to see it is in G-ds hands.

Own and be proud of that you are recovering.

I hope that doesn't seem to corny.

BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09