Originally Posted by holdingontoit
I do not see how her losing weight harms me or affects my self-worth. I would feel better about myself is my wife were thinner.

Contradictory statement alert. You had it right the first time in that your value (self-worth) does not change based upon her weight. You would only feel better about yourself if she was thinner if you're relying on external validation to determine your value. This of course contradicts what you said in your first sentence. I know that you and I have the same book that talks about self-validation as a requirement of becoming a whole person. I strongly suggest you work on self-validation as it will ameliorate at lot of your wife's insecure behaviors.

Me: 48 XW: 44 DD: 15
Lived Together: 7 Married: 18 Total: 25 years
W announced divorce 11-3-2006, I moved out 11-7-2006, served papers 11-8-2006. Divorce final 12-19-2006. Life gets better every day.