Originally Posted by EasyE
Major transformations can be devastating to a relationship in
unexpected ways.

My ex was/is a very attractive blonde. Her looks were not an issue. It was her behavior--she treated me like dirt, like a human wallet, and after awhile rarely wanted sexual contact. I was going nuts, because I was very attracted to her. But all she cared about was "getting things done". We lived on a ten acre property in the San Dieog area with horses, etc, and a huge house. She never wanted to go to the beach, or go out and have fun, just work, work, work.

I was her workhorse and provider of all monetary means. We would work until dark on a Saturday night, and then she would fall into bed exhausted, always tired, always brooding that things aren't getting done. And on top of that, she volunteered
constantly, taking on other people's challenges and requiring my help and again, moneary support to do so. But there was nothing left for me, as far as she went.

After having enough of being her stooge, we separated and headed for divorce. And what diod she do? She moved to the beach!
Became a beach girl with a bunch of new friends and parties and fun! Something I had wanted for us from the very beginning.

She got pregnant by some guy off the cuff.

Last time she called me, about five years ago, I told her never to call again.

It hurt, and still does to think about it.

Yours is a somewhat similar story to mine. It tend to reinforce my theory that the person that we are most attracted to is inevitably our worst choice and that we must work against our natural attractions to find someone who is actually good for us. I'll also add that another of my theories is that while opposites attract, they make lousy partners.

EasyE, the past is dead and cannot be made-up for. The debts of the past cannot be repaid. Your best revenge will be your personal success. This same advice applies to Hold.

Me: 48 XW: 44 DD: 15
Lived Together: 7 Married: 18 Total: 25 years
W announced divorce 11-3-2006, I moved out 11-7-2006, served papers 11-8-2006. Divorce final 12-19-2006. Life gets better every day.