Heheh... For most of my M, my XW bounced between being just a little overweight to being very overweight. She'd diet or exercise for a little while and take a few pounds off, but they'd eventually find her again. When we first got together, she didn't maintain much of an appearance. She could wear scrubs to work (she used to be a therapist) or even just really, really casual attire ( stretch pants and oversized shirts). Some weeks she'd wear the same thing two or three times.

Over the last couple of years she moved into hospital administration as the marketing director and started dressing nicer. Then about 6 months before she announced she was leaving me, she started hitting the gym hard and the weight began coming off fast. She also started dressing a bit more provocatively; lower necklines, tighter pants and skirts, and more makeup. She enjoyed the compliments from coworkers and she acknowledged that I was diligent in my compliments and encouragement.

Then she left me. I was bitter that she was taking so much effort in looking good after she left me. I loved her before she was thin. Before she paid attention to her appearance.

Then about 6 months ago I noticed that she has been looking really, really tired. Really heavy lines in her face, dark circles under her eyes, and the makeup is getting caked on. She's smells like she's bathing in perfume. We had a parent teacher conference a few weeks ago, and we were enclosed in the same small office. I was struggling to breathe.

She's been having some health related issues and I just figured that was part of it. The other day, my mom saw her for the first time since the summer I believe. I asked my mom, "I really don't mean to be tacky, but does she look old to you?".

Now please understand, my mom has no animosity toward her and they still communicate. Mom answered me kind of sheepishly, "I wasn't going to say anything, but the word I was thinking was 'harsh'. It's like the years have hit her in a sudden rush.

Then one of my best friends ran into her at their temple. He called me later and said the same thing. He described her as looking VERY middle aged.

I would be lying if I said I didn't get some satisfaction in that. I don't wish it on her, and I'd still be fine if she looked like Ms. America, but I do kind of relish the notion that she's might be disappointed by the reactions she going to get from other men now that she's single.

Not to mention that after two c-sections, and breast feeding two kids, the inside of the book isn't quite as promising as the cover, if you know what I mean.

Imagine a couple of sweatsocks filled with sand.

I know. I'm a terrible man. I sleep just fine at night thank you very much.