To me it is not worth the risk. If a woman loves me, we can date, or live together. If she wants to get married, I would be terrified that she has an agenda that is not in my interest. There is nothing she could say or do to convince me that she isn't planning to stop meeting my ENs as soon as we get married. The more she pushed for marriage, the more I would resist.

As I have said before, the only way I would marry again is if she made it worth my while to take that risk. Through an enormous up front cash payment combined with a prenuptial that made it clear I owe nothing upon divorce.

Which is why I feel I am correct to not want to get married. For marriage to be worthwhile, both spouses have to be committed to it. They have to be invested. And I am unwilling to commit or invest that much. It doesn't matter how wonderful she is or how well we get along, I will not permit myself to ever be this vulnerable again. I am now so wounded and broken that I cannot commit to caring for anyone else. And I am not interested in being "cured" to the point where I could care that much about someone else.

So even if I got married again, I would not have both feet and my whole heart in it. As I see it, it wouldn't be fair of me to marry anyone under those conditions.

Do you disagree?