Thank you for posting, Eric, and welcome to MB.

Ask yourself...

can you act from love even when you don't feel it?

If you don't believe Love is a choice you make...and keep making...acting from it...whether you feel it or not...then don't get married.

It's not's you. It's not her's yours.

Ask yourself deeper questions...because you're onto your feelings giving you information...get the signals. They are coming from your own beliefs...figure those out.

Does Bethany have different spiritual beliefs than you do? Or does she share most of yours?

Know your worries...know your cares...know where they come from inside you.

Check your radical honesty blame the honesty for making your relationship no longer "solid" instead of you refusing to own your own feelings.

Only you can know and trace them...get the info. She can't. And she wants to marry you anyway...even though she fears...she's in it with you...can work on it together.

Can you?

Seems to me often throughout your education, you did the work even when you didn't feel like didn't rely on feeling inspired to make you...

apply what you crave security, knowing what humans can't know (the future), you want a sure thing...

and the answer you're looking being one.