Is your therapist trained in sex addiction? If not, please find a CSAT. Normal, every day therapists do NOT know how do help with sex addiction.

Your SO DESERVES the truth: the truth that she is going to be marrying an addict. She needs to understand what her life will be like. That you may one day, endanger her health.

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TAKE AWAY THE ABILITY OF YOUR SO MAKING AN INFORMED DECISION ABOUT MARRIAGE. YOU ARE PLAYING WITH HER LIFE. IT IS SELFISH AND INEXCUSABLE. Shouldn't Bethany get to decide if she's comfortable marrying an addict? Shouldn't she get to decide what her boundaries will be before marriage? Shouldn't she get to decide if she's willing to live with the risks of a recoverying addict? Why are you making these choices for her? Why are you playing God with her life?


You've just made some not so healthy choices. That CAN BE unlearned. Look, my husband has been acting out for nearly 20 years. He's sober, now for two, with no slips or relapses. Our marriage is amazing. It CAN be done.

Look, if you tell Bethany about your addiction or not, you risk loosing her. You are not going to be able to hide it from her forever. She will find out. I promise you, your sex life with her will go down the drain. She'll notice when you guys are having sex once every two months..she won't know what exactly is up, but she'll know something is.

ETA: Here's another thought. She may not be the best partner for you, when you get sober. Wouldn't you want to figure that out before you married her?

Last edited by inrecoverynow; 04/14/09 12:27 PM.