Originally Posted by dkd
it seems that getting the pills would be a proactive of telling yourself that the current conditions are not what you want, and that you expect them to change.

Agreed. But I don't expect the conditions to change. And I am choosing to stay with Mrs. Hold anyway. So getting the pills would just drive me crazy. I would feel hurt every time I saw them and realized it was the same number of pills as the last time I saw them. No thanks.

Originally Posted by dkd
Honestly, your acceptance of the situation seems to be a way at getting back at your W in a way.

Perhaps. Or perhaps it is my way of sending the message that she ought to start looking for another guy to meet her needs. My subconscious is so mixed up these days, who knows what message it is trying to send.

Originally Posted by dkd
Even though she doesn't want to do anything with you, showing that you don't even care about it has to hurt her feelings.

Not sure I agree with this one. She is very quick to complain if I move around the bed in a way that she perceives could potentially mean I am moving toward her. Even when I have no intention of going anywhere near her (which is pretty much all the time once we get under the covers). I only move toward her when we are above the covers, and then only to lay my head on her thigh. Sometimes she strokes my back and I find that pleasurable so I admit I seek that out. But I don't make any moves on her. No wandering hands. After a few minutes I go back to my side of the bed. Then when we get under the covers I stay on my side with a wall of pillows between us.

So if it bothers her that I can't get it up anymore, she has given no sign of it. Remember, we are talking 2 or 3 instances over the past 5 months. So it isn't like she keeps putting the moves on me and I reject her. And of course she is completely unaware of my performance problems during masturbation, since that is an activity that dare not state its name in our house.

Nevertheless, I guess it is possible that it bothers her but she hasn't communicated that to me. Would I do anything about it if she did? Hmmmm, that is an excellent question.

When you can see it coming, duck!