Soolee:

You make good points. I am sure that her working full time would require changes in our lifestyle. Not all of them welcome.

I also know that she did work part time for a year or 2 and she did clear more money than she spent on clothes / gas / lunch. And that our latest round of debt happened when she stopped working and she kept spending despite the lack of income.

So if she worked, it would lead to a positive cash flow after taxes and expenses. Which would take some of the pressure off me financially.

Am I as confident that she would be happier working for a little money than staying home with slightly less money? No. I assume she prefers to stay home. Which is why she is not hitting the pavement looking for a job right now.

Do I care if she is less happy working? No. I understand that is a very un-MB answer. I am supposed to care. I am not supposed to want to gain at her expense. Well, at this point I don't mind if I do. I understand wanting to gain at her expense is not good for our marriage. So what? Our marriage stinks as it is. It is going to stink whether she works or not. So if we are not going to be happily married, she might as well help pay down our debts.

Wow. That is as honest as I have been here at MB in a long while. Lately, I find myself censoring myself because of how my statements would look during our divorce. But really there is no point in posting here if I am not going to be honest.