Yesterday Mrs. Hold asked me when I was moving back into the bedroom. I said not until her cough clears up, which the doctor said might be a couple of weeks. Then she is flying to Florida to visit her parents, because her father is scheduled for surgery. So we may sleep apart for what will have been almost a month by the time she gets back home.

She asked for reassurance that I will move back when she recovers. I said something like "I guess we can work something out." She said "be careful before you say something hurtful". Later she asked why I don't want to move back. I said I thought she would appreciate not having to deal with my presence, stinky breath, stinky BO, hairiness, horniness, interrupting her TV shows, etc. She repeated "why don't you want to move back?" I said "it is stressful for me to be in bed with you. I feel uncomfortable when you complain about me." She said something like "I am sorry you focus totally on the negatives. You only feel that way because you have ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) in your head."

I am pleased that we got this out into the open. It is easier to be honest (to a point) now that I am much less invested in the outcome (her reaction). She is often disappointed with the content of my statements. But I do not allow my expectations of her displeasure to control my speech. She may not like what I have to say. That is for her to deal with. Hopefully she won't decide to leave me over it.