It's a matter of personal choice (shrugging). You aren't the only one posting here, I'm sure, who is choosing to stay in an arrangement that feels so unhealthy.

Frankly, I would pursue other interests while you wait this out, and I think I mentioned these before: Getting the credit cards paid off, staying in good physical health, pursuing your career, and being a model dad. Pretend she's your housekeeper or your sister. (shrugging again)

The thing I wonder, though, is whether your mindset will change to that of leaving after your children are raised and off to college. I suspect you'll stay then...because you won't want to share with or expose your grandchildren to another man either.

I'd feel sorry for you, Hold, but you're a grown man and how you spend the rest of your life is entirely up to you.

Personally, I think your wife deserves to know everything that's going on in your head that effects the marriage, but then again - that could be dangerous, because then she might take you seriously and start changing.


"Stop yappin and make it happen."
"The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."

Me 47
DH 46
Together for 28 years.
Married 21 years.