It's a matter of personal choice (shrugging). You aren't the only one posting here, I'm sure, who is choosing to stay in an arrangement that feels so unhealthy.

Frankly, I would pursue other interests while you wait this out, and I think I mentioned these before: Getting the credit cards paid off, staying in good physical health, pursuing your career, and being a model dad. Pretend she's your housekeeper or your sister. (shrugging again)

The thing I wonder, though, is whether your mindset will change to that of leaving after your children are raised and off to college. I suspect you'll stay then...because you won't want to share with or expose your grandchildren to another man either.

I'd feel sorry for you, Hold, but you're a grown man and how you spend the rest of your life is entirely up to you.

Personally, I think your wife deserves to know everything that's going on in your head that effects the marriage, but then again - that could be dangerous, because then she might take you seriously and start changing.