Hi dear hold.

So I've been thinking about you... Do you think it's possible that you don't feel anything not because you are so sad and miserable that you've become numb, but because you are actually furious?

I've heard it said that depression is anger turned inward. What if you are so angry that it takes every ounce of energy to keep that anger surpressed?

You really do need to work out. Forget focusing on anything else extra, but get back to working out. Maybe you can take a boxing/kickboxing class--or something that includes releasing explosive bouts of energy... maybe then it would help release some of what you cannot allow yourself to feel right now.

You need a release valve. Get out there and excercise. Punch some bags. Kick some bags. Pound it out.

ANd don't wait until next week. Do it a couple of times before this week is out.

Can you at do that at least?

(((Hold)))