We spent time in bed each night and morning, because my Sis and BIL have a typical NYC apartment and there was no place else to be while the kids were sleeping in the only other 2 rooms than to be together in the master bedroom.

She made it very clear by rolling away from me, placing pillows between us, and other actions that she was not interested in sex despite the very enjoyable weekend. NYE was very cold and we spent 2 hours outside. We all came back freezing. Mrs. Hold made it clear we were not going to "snuggle for warmth".

In the past, I might have "asked" by rolling toward her, placing my arm over her shoulder while lying next to her, etc. Maybe my hand would "wander". Sometimes I would even summon the courage to verbally ask if she was in the mood (although I know most women find that terribly unattractive, Mrs. Hold has made clear that she prefers an "ask" rather than a "take subject to dispossession"). My actions would give her the chance to move my hand where she wanted it.

I don't do that any longer. Mostly I face away from her. If I face toward her, my hands usually stay on my side of the wall of pillows, comforters, etc. If she moves toward me, my hand may go over her shoulder but it no longer wanders.

Her rejections are subtle. But very real. Close to 2 decades of honing the "radar" to determine whether there is any chance that an "ask" might get a yes have taught me to detect the unmistakable sign that asking would be futile. To me, her displaying those signs is rejection. She knows how I react when we spend pleasant time together. She knows how much I want her. She doesn't have to say the word "no" to communicate her message quite clearly.