Seems to me, Hold, that MrsHold meets your EN for Resentment really well...

she works really hard to prove all your assumptions true so you can continue to be right instead of happily married.

She's tenacious, unstoppable, in communicating her rejection to you without words...yours or hers...a rejection artist.

You are so good with words, Hold, probably because you fear hers so much...and she asked for your words, to hear your stuff...and you don't do that because that's where you've been shot down, tormented and denied for years...

and what you fear isn't real in the way that you experience rejection, without words, anyway.

You've perfected your Catch-22, Hold. It's are an exceedingly accomplished rejection artist.

And MrsHold holds that mirror for you. She works really hard to ensure you will only see her rejection to protect yourself.

She's very much your ally and accomplice in rejection.

You've mentioned her adroit use of bedclothes to keep and ensure distance...I haven't asked before...does she do this on both sides of herself and at her head, too, like a sleeping nest? Or only delineating your space from hers, period...wide open at the feet, her side of the bed and the head of the bed?