MUD, you are getting so close to the solution! I can tell you from experiance.

(I did not know this witch of yours went wayward, man that is bad, she has sex with others but not you, that is creepy)

Ride it out, the conflict now. Make her put in writing that if you ask for sex in any way she will provide it with hand, mouth, or otherwise.

Accept a hand job when she does not want the whole thing. Teach her how to please you with hands and mouth so she has a "choice".

The little witch probably used hands, mouth and other things on her other lover. I dislike these cheaters so much.